LakesideDream Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) I'm not sure if this is the right place. If not, Tony please help me out by relocating it. I'm an old guy, 59 years old For the past couple of months I've been "dating" and I mean "dating" Gal about my age. Dinners, a couple of breakfasts BBQ at my home blah blah. Maybe 7 dates total. The has been NO SEX or even "heavy" physical contact. I thought we were in the "getting to know each other" phase. No sex, no sleepovers. Anyone who's read my situation over the past 5 years or so knows I was a BS ... 25 year marriage (9 years ago) that went up in vapor without me knowing there was a problem, much less another man. And... once I was divorced, a very intense affiar, that didn't end well at all. Anyway... here I am feeling fond of this gal, attracted, and not ready to be comitted to anyone yet. Am I crazy? This lady who is very nice popped up a week ago with "Is there an us" (her words) ... my answer was "I thought an Us was growing". She seemed very dissappointed. What's going on that I'm missing ? I fear this dating relationship is going away because I not willing to comitt long term after a couple of months. I'm to "experianced" to fall in love overnight. I'm a bit snake bit as well. I want to have a very good idea that there is a future with a gal before I hand over the keys to the kingdom. What do I need to know that I don't? Edited May 4, 2010 by LakesideDream spelling
mem11363 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 LD, I think I understand where you are. Based on how you have self described is it true that: - You want to keep seeing her AND - While trying to see if this is going to work out well you are not going to date/pursue other women - You can't tell yet whether or not this is going to fly - but are willing to give it a shot in good faith I'm not sure if this is the right place. If not, Tony please help me out by relocating it. I'm an old guy, 59 years old For the past couple of months I've been "dating" and I mean "dating" Gal about my age. Dinners, a couple of breakfasts BBQ at my home blah blah. Maybe 7 dates total. The has been NO SEX or even "heavy" physical contact. I thought we were in the "getting to know each other" phase. No sex, no sleepovers. Anyone who's read my situation over the past 5 years or so knows I was a BS ... 25 year marriage (9 years ago) that went up in vapor without me knowing there was a problem, much less another man. And... once I was divorced, a very intense affiar, that didn't end well at all. Anyway... here I am feeling fond of this gal, attracted, and not ready to be comitted to anyone yet. Am I crazy? This lady who is very nice popped up a week ago with "Is there an us" (her words) ... my answer was "I thought an Us was growing". She seemed very dissappointed. What's going on that I'm missing ? I fear this dating relationship is going away because I not willing to comitt long term after a couple of months. I'm to "experianced" to fall in love overnight. I'm a bit snake bit as well. I want to have a very good idea that there is a future with a gal before I hand over the keys to the kingdom. What do I need to know that I don't?
Author LakesideDream Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) LD, I think I understand where you are. Based on how you have self described is it true that: - You want to keep seeing her AND - While trying to see if this is going to work out well you are not going to date/pursue other women - You can't tell yet whether or not this is going to fly - but are willing to give it a shot in good faith Said it much better than I could have. Thank you. I haven't be a big "dating person" since the my divorce. In hindsight I know I'm shy, and afraid of pain and dishonesty. I want to be "sure", or at least as sure as I can be. Edited May 4, 2010 by LakesideDream
carhill Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Get physical. She's a woman, not a cat You don't have to have sex, though I can't imagine why, at your ages, there would be any inhibitions. We're not talking a 25 year marriage and children here, just a companion whom you love spending time with. Take a risk. :bunny: I don't know if it's relevant, but, for myself, letting go of the 'past' (not the marriage part, and you know what I mean) has been instrumental to accepting the potential of a new and satisfying life partner and companion. I grieved the death of what was and moved on. Happy to read you've been dating.
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