phineas Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 As a single mom, good dads are attractive (even though I don't let the guys I date and my kids meet), have you thought of taking the kids to parks or family activities. You might meet a hot mamma. All the time! And quite a bit they always work "my wife" into the convo upon which I refer to her as "their mother". And then we verbally dance, both of knowing exactly what the other is trying to find out but just not being direct. Until they find out i'm seperated. And not divorced. Oh well, maybe the courts will stamp the papers & send them back next week. LOL!
brainygirl Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 hate to say it, but I wouldn't go there if the guy wasn't for all and good divorced. I know that when it is contested or there is a lot of disagreement over parenting plans or assets it can take for ever. But I've also seen people change their minds at the last minute and go back. And maybe they don't want to be "the fall back girl". Patience. It'll happen.
Sivok Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 so maybe its not that you guys can't get a date, but the reality is she may be a little chunkier then you'd like. Oh sigh, life comes with sacrifices. I honestly don't completely understand what the big deal is with weight anyways, I am much more adventurous then any of my thin friends. I cook better, I am loads (ha ha) of fun and can keep up to anyone just as well. So what, I look different.We cant help what we're attracted to. Personally, I've dated girls that are a little heavier with amazing personalities, but I could not for the life of me feel any sexual attraction to them. They make for fun friends, but nothing else One thing I have trouble with is that your body is one of the things a person has direct control over and can give you giant leverage in dating if you take care of it. Why people don't and then complain about success in dating is beyond me. To me it's just laziness. I used to be obese, was unhappy about myself, and finally took control of my body - im in the best shape of my life right now and that's helped me tremendously in dating. It just takes consistency and hard work, just like anything else worth having in life. I don't like settling for anything less than I feel I'm capable of accomplishing and getting, and that goes for the women I date as well. Call me shallow, but being in shape is the one most obvious indicators that a person is capable of consistency and hard work - that goes much farther in my mind than just sex.
phineas Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 hate to say it, but I wouldn't go there if the guy wasn't for all and good divorced. I know that when it is contested or there is a lot of disagreement over parenting plans or assets it can take for ever. But I've also seen people change their minds at the last minute and go back. And maybe they don't want to be "the fall back girl". Patience. It'll happen. Exactly why I havn't been looking. You never know. my buddy was dateing a seperated woman that went back to her husband after a few months. Who needs to worry about that crap? I've actually signed the court papers & just waiting for the court to process them. But my STBXW could still screw it up & slow it down if she wanted too.
Cracker Jack Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 Heh. My 1st post. I somewhat agree that it's hard for heterosexual males to find a date in comparison to women, but I think its silly to blame others for it. I usually have chances, but I often get real stupid and fold under pressure. Have no idea why, but I usually just feel I'm not good enough to have a successful date, and often feel that I have nothing worthy to offer a woman. I hate that I think like that. I also suck at approaching women, even when they give me attention to the point where it's obvious that my chances of being able to strike something up with them are really high. My problems in the dating world are, well, my own fault--and unfortunately I don't know how to fix them right now. Wish I could improve sooner than later, though, since I'm not getting any younger.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 14, 2010 Posted May 14, 2010 We cant help what we're attracted to. Personally, I've dated girls that are a little heavier with amazing personalities, but I could not for the life of me feel any sexual attraction to them. They make for fun friends, but nothing else One thing I have trouble with is that your body is one of the things a person has direct control over and can give you giant leverage in dating if you take care of it. Why people don't and then complain about success in dating is beyond me. To me it's just laziness. I used to be obese, was unhappy about myself, and finally took control of my body - im in the best shape of my life right now and that's helped me tremendously in dating. It just takes consistency and hard work, just like anything else worth having in life. I don't like settling for anything less than I feel I'm capable of accomplishing and getting, and that goes for the women I date as well. Call me shallow, but being in shape is the one most obvious indicators that a person is capable of consistency and hard work - that goes much farther in my mind than just sex. Actually i have found that my weight comes from trying to do too many things. I have consistenly worked 2 or 3 jobs most of my adult life. I am always helping friends move or things like that and volunteering. Often my day is so packed that I resort to fast food. Having a daughter, running a business, doing recovery work and attending about hours a week of different forms of marital counseling is killer. I have decided that I am not going to be my life be lived for me anymore and i am going to focus on my own needs, that includes the need to be healthy. I do not want my daughter to grow up with the same insecurities that I have and if that mean cancelling some plans and disappointing people that I have known for a long time, then so be it. I have found that the more I self-sacrifice and the more I do, the less people seem to respect me anyways and the judgment falls squarely at my waistline.
WalkInThePark Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 (edited) Wrong, you can get that nice guy anytime, it's just that average looking people don't count. BS. It's not about the looks. Average looks are OK. It's about the manners! Good or less good looks, we want someone who takes care of himself, knows how to dress, is smart and interesting and treats us with respect. Very difficult to find! Edited May 15, 2010 by WalkInThePark
hats Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 I don't really have any close gay friends but I always imagined being in a gay relationship would be a cakewalk compared to heterosexual relationships. If you just want a ONS or FWB you just go to the gay club and it's basically full of guys who want the same thing. You go on dates and it's not a big deal to go dutch or take turns making plans. Blowjobs are probably amazing. I dunno, maybe I'm wrong... maybe that's where the whole tops and bottoms thing comes into play. But I'm pretty sure I'm right about the blowjobs.
somedude81 Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 BS. It's not about the looks. Average looks are OK. It's about the manners! Good or less good looks, we want someone who takes care of himself, knows how to dress, is smart and interesting and treats us with respect. Very difficult to find! LOL! So I only need to be chivalrous, clean, knew how to dress, smart and interesting and you'd sleep with me? Even if you weren't attracted to me? Give me a break. None of those things will actually attract women. For the record I am all the above and surprisingly, women aren't lining up to date me.
brainygirl Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 LOL! So I only need to be chivalrous, clean, knew how to dress, smart and interesting and you'd sleep with me? Even if you weren't attracted to me? Give me a break. None of those things will actually attract women. For the record I am all the above and surprisingly, women aren't lining up to date me. Maybe you aren't asking the right women, aren't making it clear you are interested and available. Maybe you need to either get out there and start talking to all sorts of women and see what happens, or get on Plentyoffish or okcupid and start flirting. You wont get anyone if you aren't looking actively.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 Curious. In the dynamics of dating, why do single heterosexual men have the hardest time getting dates/hooking up/getting girlfriends? Why are the odds stacked so heavily against us? Why does society spit in our face? All of the following have absolutely no trouble in the dating world: Single heterosexual women Single bi/lesbian women Single bi/gay men Transgendered Yet, it is VERY HARD for a straight guy to get ANYWHERE in the dating world. Just take a look at this forum for proof of that. It's pretty true. I don't know about those other groups but among other things like wealth and a job that gets you a lot of exposure where womaen can be impressed by your apparent charisma, our educational systems are totally neglectful of social development and default popularity and one-ups-manship tend to push "nice guys" aside in favor of the bad boy. It's also a question of the life you were born into. Do you have male freinds with sisters or girl friends with networks of other girls where some introductions can go on or did you have a childhod like mine?--boys seperated from girls in the 6th grade, went to all boys Catholic high school, parents moved to burbs just when I was finally being shown some interest on my own. I was oldest of eight with near poor parents and had to work, commute to NYC pay for all my own expenses in order to fit college in. The job and commuting3 hours a day became so burdensome and college so unfulfilling that I dropped out and worked full time. Then was overworked for years. I lived in NY LI burbs and worked in NYC during that time but seemed to never have any social life. I got fat drinking with the guys after work until I got lovesick for someone in the office. Catholic upbringing, social development neglect in education period, plus factors like touch dancing and matchmaking went out in my parents age and smoking pot made one so self conscious that even all the non-touch post "Twist" era dancing was freighting. I've found that with a background like that being a corporate trainer or sales and marketing guy or something that motivates you to look good and appear confident attracts women. But there is a pervasive attitude among many white chicks to be hars and rude if they're not interested instead of being socially considerate and polite.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 15, 2010 Posted May 15, 2010 that sucks that girls there don't know how to turn down politely. Must make it pretty uncomfortable
WalkInThePark Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 LOL! So I only need to be chivalrous, clean, knew how to dress, smart and interesting and you'd sleep with me? Even if you weren't attracted to me? Give me a break. None of those things will actually attract women. For the record I am all the above and surprisingly, women aren't lining up to date me. Oh, is it all about getting a woman to sleep with you? Well, maybe that is why you don't find dates. No, I won't sleep with a man if I am not atttracted to him. But he does not have great looks for me to find him attractive. It's a total package (looks, brains, heart) which cause attraction. But it needs time. And time seems to be the rare thing very few people want to make to get to know someone better.
somedude81 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Oh, is it all about getting a woman to sleep with you? Well, maybe that is why you don't find dates. No, I won't sleep with a man if I am not atttracted to him. But he does not have great looks for me to find him attractive. It's a total package (looks, brains, heart) which cause attraction. But it needs time. And time seems to be the rare thing very few people want to make to get to know someone better. Of course it's all about getting women to sleep with me. I thought all women knew men wanted sex. Before you or somebody else gets all offended, I didn't say, men just want sex. I also don't expect sex by the first second or third date. But if sex will not happen then there is no point in staying in contact with the woman. I'm surprised that you didn't add chemistry (whatever the hell that is) as a requirement for attraction. In my experiences time is actually a detriment to attraction. If too much time passes without something happening, I'm usually stuck in the friend-zone.
brainygirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 LOL! So I only need to be chivalrous, clean, knew how to dress, smart and interesting and you'd sleep with me? Even if you weren't attracted to me? Give me a break. None of those things will actually attract women. For the record I am all the above and surprisingly, women aren't lining up to date me. Well, they would certainly be a place to start! You think if you were rude, filthy, smelled bad and unable to make conversation that you'd be any better off? I know for a fact (because I'm a woman) that a man who smells good is incredibly alluring. (I once worked in a hospital and the guy they sent to pick up bodies from the funeral home was a young guy and plain looking, but he smelled wonderful and we all "found a reason" to be in the area when he was there) I hate to point this out, but attraction is a very individual thing. For some (shallow) women it is money and power. For other women its a pretty face and a hot bod. For others its a kind heart and a sense of humor. There are infinite combinations of features. And I hate to point this out to you because you certainly seem bitter towards women, but women don't have the easiest time finding guys either. I'm not opposed to sex, and have been known to have it when the feeling struck, but its hard to find a guy worth bringing into my life and my boys' lives on a permanent basis. I don't know what you are doing to attract girls, but it obviously isn't working. People here are trying to give you ideas that might help. You can either be gracious about the advice and take what applies to your situation and leave hte rest, or you can be sarcastic and bitter. Its really up to you.
kronocyber Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 (edited) Hey OpenGL there is a nasty mess of socioeconomic, biological, and historical reasons for the situation we face today. Sadly, the reasons behind the relative difficulty that one gender/orientation or another experiences in getting laid would be of little use to you or almost anyone for that matter. The important thing is accept the situation as it is, and decide how you are going to work with it. First check out your aprouch, and make sure you arnt fallowing bad advise like: I burnt a huge chunk of time trying to get laid up until my early 20s with fairly marginal results. There was a lot of rejection. It felt a lot like being a telemarketer, except without the commission. Well it was sort of the opposite of a commission really. I spent quite a bit going out drinking. The few successes I had were short lived and filled with a lot of drama and BS. Sex Ideally should be a really good thing, however in practice it is almost never really worth every thing that leads up to, and surrounds it. Realizing this, I this spent much of my early and mid 20s alone, and bitter about the whole thing. We don't have to be bitter about the hand we are dealt in life there are many antidepressants can diminish the sense of loneliness that is inherent to the human condition. Some SSRI's even have the additional side benefit of reducing libido. Also doing community service can sometimes reduce the general sense of alienation that one gets from the world at large. I have always felt more welcome and appreciated doing community service, than I ever did in any sort of relationship. Ultimately in life we have a lot of urges and dreams, but thats all they are primitive instincts and unrealistic fantasies that have no place in the modern world- well at least for average blokes of our lot. Ex: The sooner we understand and adapt to things as they actually are the quicker and easier things will go. Then again I am not the most socially adept person In the world, or even in my research group for that matter, or in almost any group really. hear is some thing to cheer you up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2LpeA3jcEU Or you could just work on your psychic powers like me Edited May 16, 2010 by kronocyber spellcheck
homersheineken Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 But if sex will not happen then there is no point in staying in contact with the woman. My guess is that you're relaying this to women and that's why they aren't lining up to you, as you say.
somedude81 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 You think if you were rude, filthy, smelled bad and unable to make conversation that you'd be any better off? I know for a fact (because I'm a woman) that a man who smells good is incredibly alluring. (I once worked in a hospital and the guy they sent to pick up bodies from the funeral home was a young guy and plain looking, but he smelled wonderful and we all "found a reason" to be in the area when he was there) The thing is that I am not rude, dirty smell bad and can't hold a conversation. I know girls enjoy talking to me. They just aren't attracted to me and that's what I need to figure out how to fix. I should probably wear cologne more often. If it's that important. I hate to point this out, but attraction is a very individual thing. For some (shallow) women it is money and power. For other women its a pretty face and a hot bod. For others its a kind heart and a sense of humor. There are infinite combinations of features. As someone who doesn't have money/power or a pretty face/hot bod and is actually below average in height, the odds are stacked against me. I'm struggling to find what my niche is so I can start getting women into me. And I hate to point this out to you because you certainly seem bitter towards women, but women don't have the easiest time finding guys either. I'm not opposed to sex, and have been known to have it when the feeling struck, but its hard to find a guy worth bringing into my life and my boys' lives on a permanent basis. Yes I am bitter towards women, very much so. But it only affects me when I am by myself. When I am around women, I feel like I am my true self. Life is fun and I'm happy. When I come home to my empty apartment, the world sucks. Women have higher standards then men do. So much so that I don't even know what they really want. In your case it is fine because you are a single mom and the man you chose will have a big impact on your and your children's life. Girls in their early 20's who don't have kids are ridiculously picky. They don't need sex and are perfectly having guys as platonic friends. I end up needing them a lot more than they need me. And before anybody says something, I know I don't come across as needy to women. I don't know what you are doing to attract girls, but it obviously isn't working. People here are trying to give you ideas that might help. You can either be gracious about the advice and take what applies to your situation and leave hte rest, or you can be sarcastic and bitter. Its really up to you. The problem is that the advice is very basic and I've heard it all before. Hell my mom told me when I was still a kid to be clean, don't smell bad and be nice and respectful to girls. Obviously that is not enough. Besides those basics, the next most common advice is, be confident. And that just makes me roll my eyes. Every now and then somebody actually posts some useful advice that took them more than 30 seconds to think of. Unfortunately that level of thoughtfulness is rare. From what I've gathered my issues are that; I don't show enough interest, I don't move fast enough, I don't give off the impression that I think the girl is special, I shouldn't focus on just one girl at a time, I need to express my sexuality more. (touch them, use sexual innuendo, don't be afraid to talk about sex) My guess is that you're relaying this to women and that's why they aren't lining up to you, as you say. No, I don't think that's it. Most women I've hung out with, we've never even talked about sex. If women were getting the idea that I wouldn't want to be their friend if we never had sex, then they would not have become friends with me in the first place.
PJKino Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 I feel your pain but i have moved on from trying to get women and its kinda of liberating.. I used to worry all the time be lonely and depressed that women didnt want me but everyone around me had women but now i just dont care ive pretty much given up.. I dont have the stomach to get rejected by hundreds of women in hoping one will give me her number and then pray it goes well from there so why bother.. Let people with whatever they have i dont have that get women do what they do and ill do what i do im perfectly fine on my own..
homersheineken Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 No, I don't think that's it. Most women I've hung out with, we've never even talked about sex. If women were getting the idea that I wouldn't want to be their friend if we never had sex, then they would not have become friends with me in the first place. Who said anything about a conversation? There are many ways to communicate other than words. Most likely you are doing (body language, the way you talk) that and girls can pick up on that. Evidence? Yes I am bitter towards women, very much so. But it only affects me when I am by myself. When I am around women, I feel like I am my true self. Even before you said that I can read it in your posts, it's not very difficult. If you're doing it here, chances are you are doing it in other conversations even if they aren't implicitly about sex. Develop a better attitude towards woman (and people in general) and that will help you be a more attractive person.
brainygirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Well, some women certainly respond to touching and innuindo, it would turn me off though. It might help to be overtly focused on the girl you are attracted to. Show up in places you know she will be, strike up a conversation. Tell her "I think you are a nice person, let me take you out" and then SET A DATE THEN AND THERE. And if the girl isn't interested, chalk it up to her and not you. There have been times in my life when I knew guys were flirting and trying to let me know they wanted to take me out, but I was so busy with other things that I just didn't have the emotional energy or time. It wasn't about them in the least. (When I was in college I had a kid and was working three jobs, there was no way in h e double hockey sticks I was going to find time to grab a beer with my chem lab partner . . he was nice, smart clean, and exactly my height - 5ft 2in - his physical characteristics had nothing to do with why I never responded to him, it was all me) My point being, I know it sucks. BELIEVE ME. I raise three kids, take care of a home and work and go to classes and I do it alone. I don't have a person I can lean on when I've had a craptastic day. I don't have someone who will make me soup and watch the kids when I am sick, I don't even have someone to go do stuff with when the kids are at their dad's. But I know that it is better to be myself and alone than to try to be someone else's ideal to be with them. Relax, you sound awfully young. Do what's right for you and give life a few years. My late 20s are ever so much better than 18-25 was, and I have friend in their thirties who say life (and dating and sex) is even better then.
somedude81 Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 PJKino, I'm nowhere near ready to give up. There is too much I want. Who said anything about a conversation? There are many ways to communicate other than words. Most likely you are doing (body language, the way you talk) that and girls can pick up on that. Evidence? I'm sorry but even really know what you are trying to say. With this post and your previous one. What are they picking up on? Even before you said that I can read it in your posts, it's not very difficult. If you're doing it here, chances are you are doing it in other conversations even if they aren't implicitly about sex. Develop a better attitude towards woman (and people in general) and that will help you be a more attractive person. When I'm with people and intereacting with them, the bitterness is the last thing on my mind. If anything it may cause some hesitation on my part because I am afraid of getting rejected. Well, some women certainly respond to touching and innuindo, it would turn me off though. It might help to be overtly focused on the girl you are attracted to. Show up in places you know she will be, strike up a conversation. Tell her "I think you are a nice person, let me take you out" and then SET A DATE THEN AND THERE. Yeah, I've realized that I need to quicker in setting dates. There are too many girls that I've known for a whole semester and never had a date with. Just this last semester I was interested in 4 girls, yet I only asked one of them for a date. She was my favorite. We hung out a couple of times and were going to have our first "official" date. The problem was that, I had so much invested in her, when things didn't work out, I felt like crap and temporarily lost all interest in women. A couple of weeks later I felt better and was ready to try and date the other girls, but by then the semester was a few days from ending. Hopefully I can meet a few girls in summer school. And if the girl isn't interested, chalk it up to her and not you. There have been times in my life when I knew guys were flirting and trying to let me know they wanted to take me out, but I was so busy with other things that I just didn't have the emotional energy or time. I'm just starting to learn that when something goes wrong with a girl, it's not always my fault. I'm always the first person to blame and I need to stop that. Like what you said, I have no idea what is going on in her life or what her past experiences have been. Of course it's hard to accept that because the only thing I'm aware of is that she turned me down. My point being, I know it sucks. BELIEVE ME. I raise three kids, take care of a home and work and go to classes and I do it alone. I don't have a person I can lean on when I've had a craptastic day. I don't have someone who will make me soup and watch the kids when I am sick, I don't even have someone to go do stuff with when the kids are at their dad's. But I know that it is better to be myself and alone than to try to be someone else's ideal to be with them. Relax, you sound awfully young. Do what's right for you and give life a few years. My late 20s are ever so much better than 18-25 was, and I have friend in their thirties who say life (and dating and sex) is even better then. Yeah being alone is hard, I can't even imagine how hard it is with kids. BTW I'm turning 29 in August so I don't think I'm "awfully young." I may sound young because I am inexperienced. And that's another reason why I'm bitter. I feel that my youth had been taken away from me. I could have learned so much about life, women, love n' sex, and had many experiences between 18 and now, yet I've had none of that. For all intents and purposes I had a nice and easy life, just no girls were a part of it.
brainygirl Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 PJKino, I'm nowhere near ready to give up. There is too much I want. I'm sorry but even really know what you are trying to say. With this post and your previous one. What are they picking up on? When I'm with people and intereacting with them, the bitterness is the last thing on my mind. If anything it may cause some hesitation on my part because I am afraid of getting rejected. Yeah, I've realized that I need to quicker in setting dates. There are too many girls that I've known for a whole semester and never had a date with. Just this last semester I was interested in 4 girls, yet I only asked one of them for a date. She was my favorite. We hung out a couple of times and were going to have our first "official" date. The problem was that, I had so much invested in her, when things didn't work out, I felt like crap and temporarily lost all interest in women. A couple of weeks later I felt better and was ready to try and date the other girls, but by then the semester was a few days from ending. Hopefully I can meet a few girls in summer school. I'm just starting to learn that when something goes wrong with a girl, it's not always my fault. I'm always the first person to blame and I need to stop that. Like what you said, I have no idea what is going on in her life or what her past experiences have been. Of course it's hard to accept that because the only thing I'm aware of is that she turned me down. Yeah being alone is hard, I can't even imagine how hard it is with kids. BTW I'm turning 29 in August so I don't think I'm "awfully young." I may sound young because I am inexperienced. And that's another reason why I'm bitter. I feel that my youth had been taken away from me. I could have learned so much about life, women, love n' sex, and had many experiences between 18 and now, yet I've had none of that. For all intents and purposes I had a nice and easy life, just no girls were a part of it. HAHA you're a couple of months older than I am! If life's been good, be glad! Some of us seriously messed up when we were younger and have made things more difficult for ourselves as a result. I think what the other poster you quoted was getting at is that there are very subtle clues about attitude that go into conversations. Things like how you word things, and body language play a huge role in the impression you give off. These things are entirely unconscious. The only way to get away from it is to make a choice to shut certain thoughts and attitudes out of your thought processes.
MrNate Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 Have you ever seen James and the Giant Peach? It's one of the best movies ever. One of my favorite parts in the movie was when Jame's mom told him 'Try looking at it another way'. It was cool because when he did that, he would overcome come his problems. So how about looking at your problem another way? Consider this: Embrace your role as the man. It may seem like women have it easier because they get to choose with whom they go into a relationship, but men carry a significant amount of wait in that field. I think a lot of times we underestimate our power as selectors. Think about it. Men are the initiators, and if we embrace that role, then we can pursue women we're interested in. Women can't do that to the extent we can. It gets even better when you work on making yourself as awesome of a person as possible, because this opens doors. When you realize your full potential, you begin to care a lot less about rejection, because you know you're a great person. All of a sudden, YOU'RE in demand. And as a man, you have the ability to choose which women suit YOU. That's the beauty. You have the ability to be active, and go after what you want. Women can't enjoy that to the degree men can. As for rejection, it is just a huge mental block. The kicker is we are very good at making it appear as a much bigger deal than it is. Rejection happens because everyone won't be attracted to you.It's that simple. Rejection is just a part of life, and it won't go away. So instead of fearing it, embrace it. Because while there will be women who aren't drawn to you, there will be women who are drawn to you. The rewards of risking rejection FAR outweigh the risk. If she says 'no', so what? No harm done. Her decision shouldn't reflect YOUR value as a person. But what if she says yes.... Barry Bonds just didn't hit 762 home-runs back to back. He also struck out 1539 times. So look at your situation differently, and realize there's a lot of positives and potential out there. So much so it greatly outweighs the negatives. Being a man is where it's at! I wouldn't trade it for anything.
You'reasian Posted May 16, 2010 Posted May 16, 2010 PJKino, I'm nowhere near ready to give up. There is too much I want. I'm sorry but even really know what you are trying to say. With this post and your previous one. What are they picking up on? When I'm with people and intereacting with them, the bitterness is the last thing on my mind. If anything it may cause some hesitation on my part because I am afraid of getting rejected. Yeah, I've realized that I need to quicker in setting dates. There are too many girls that I've known for a whole semester and never had a date with. Just this last semester I was interested in 4 girls, yet I only asked one of them for a date. She was my favorite. We hung out a couple of times and were going to have our first "official" date. The problem was that, I had so much invested in her, when things didn't work out, I felt like crap and temporarily lost all interest in women. A couple of weeks later I felt better and was ready to try and date the other girls, but by then the semester was a few days from ending. Hopefully I can meet a few girls in summer school. I'm just starting to learn that when something goes wrong with a girl, it's not always my fault. I'm always the first person to blame and I need to stop that. Like what you said, I have no idea what is going on in her life or what her past experiences have been. Of course it's hard to accept that because the only thing I'm aware of is that she turned me down. Yeah being alone is hard, I can't even imagine how hard it is with kids. BTW I'm turning 29 in August so I don't think I'm "awfully young." I may sound young because I am inexperienced. And that's another reason why I'm bitter. I feel that my youth had been taken away from me. I could have learned so much about life, women, love n' sex, and had many experiences between 18 and now, yet I've had none of that. For all intents and purposes I had a nice and easy life, just no girls were a part of it. Your location says Socal. Dude, Socal is RIPE for dating! Lots of beautiful women too...now I wouldn't go looking for a relationship, focus more on being in the moment when you're out there. Socal is a daters paradise....
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