So why single heterosexual men have such as hard time?

[OpenGL]

Then how come doing my thing worked great for me? When I met my wife I wasn't even trying. We just happened to be sitting close to each other watching the waves and we struck up a conversation and here we are. I didn't use some stupid PUA game or use some cheesy line on her.

 

Luck.

 

Some people also hit the lotto.

[Woggle]

Luck.

 

Some people also hit the lotto.

 

Then how come it also worked for me plenty of other times as well. I had no desire to persue relationships with the women before I met her but I could have if I wanted to. Am I some magical lottery man or something?

[OpenGL]

Sigh, I made a long thread about this quite a while ago and everybody (even the women) were in agreement it's bull for a man:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t195026/

[somedude81]

I hate analogies like this. If those were really my options, I would be come a better hunter. It is not like the wild where the strongest/smartest wins the the prey. The game is rigged.

Of course the game is rigged, it is in the wild as well. There is a reason that most carnivores go after sick and very young animals, they are easier. That doesn't mean that they don't prefer to eat the bigger healthier animals.

 

So dude, the best thing you can do is a combination of the first two.

 

Try to improve yourself as much as you can, to be the the best you can. And temporarily lower standards a couple of notches.

 

I'm constantly working on myself, physically, socially and mentally. I've also stopped chasing only the 8, 9's and 10's. And I'm going after 5-7's as well. As long as I consider her cute, she has a good weight to height ratio, lives a health lifestyle and has a good/nice/fun personality, she's good enough for me.

[USMCHokie]

I'm constantly working on myself, physically, socially and mentally. I've also stopped chasing only the 8, 9's and 10's. And I'm going after 5-7's as well. As long as I consider her cute, she has a good weight to height ratio, lives a health lifestyle and has a good/nice/fun personality, she's good enough for me.

 

 

Wow...I don't know what to say to this...I mean, have you ever stopped to ask yourself whether you're good enough for her...? The fact that you even "rank" women like that is a reflection of your lack of success in dating...it's simply not the right approach to meeting and dating women...

 

So where would you be on the 1-10 scale...?

[AD1980]

The play it cool let them come to you or it will happen when you arent looking for it only works for good looking guys who women wil approach or ask a friend about..

 

For guys like me no girl is just gonna approach me out of nowhere believe me ive been ignored for 29 years not approaching and just letting things happen..

[USMCHokie]

The play it cool let them come to you or it will happen when you arent looking for it only works for good looking guys who women wil approach or ask a friend about..

 

For guys like me no girl is just gonna approach me out of nowhere believe me ive been ignored for 29 years not approaching and just letting things happen..

 

 

"Playing it cool" does not equal sitting around on your butt waiting for a woman to walk up to you and start humping your leg...it means that you still have to be active and place yourself in situations where you're at least meeting women...not necessarily with the intention of getting a number and a date...but being open to just shaking hands and saying hello to a new person...this can happen anywhere...whether it's at the grocery store, or at work, or the bookstore, or coffee shop, or recreational sports leagues, or whatever...

 

The important thing is to continue doing what you normally do in your life...and if you meet a woman during that activity, then introduce yourself...that's all you have to do...introduce yourself...you don't need to start off with a long drawn out conversation, you don't need to become their friend...just be open to meeting new people...regardless of where you are...that's how you'll often find that one who feels like she "came out of nowhere"...

[Woggle]

By doing your thing and living your life you also meet women who are doing the same that do not subscribe to the meat market mentality.

[AD1980]

"Playing it cool" does not equal sitting around on your butt waiting for a woman to walk up to you and start humping your leg...it means that you still have to be active and place yourself in situations where you're at least meeting women...not necessarily with the intention of getting a number and a date...but being open to just shaking hands and saying hello to a new person...this can happen anywhere...whether it's at the grocery store, or at work, or the bookstore, or coffee shop, or recreational sports leagues, or whatever...

 

The important thing is to continue doing what you normally do in your life...and if you meet a woman during that activity, then introduce yourself...that's all you have to do...introduce yourself...you don't need to start off with a long drawn out conversation, you don't need to become their friend...just be open to meeting new people...regardless of where you are...that's how you'll often find that one who feels like she "came out of nowhere"...

 

Ive met numerous women.....Nothing

[dreamingoftigers]

I go to the grocery store all the time, girls call security if you even look in their direction.

 

How receptive were you to the guy trying to pick you up last week?

 

If you get security called on you when you look in their direction you should definitely think of ditching the prison uniform and cuffs before you wander out in public.

 

If I was single, he seemed like a nice enough guy to get to know, we probably would have exchanged numbers.

[sweetjasmine]

So even though a woman can get laid whenever she wants

 

If she has zero standards.

 

You can do that too!

 

and gay men have crazy lives

 

Where are you people getting this? Honestly. Do any of you actually know more than one LGBT person?

 

The problem with most men here is that they make getting a woman their primary focus in life.

 

Yes, and notice it's A woman. ANY woman.

 

Most of us can pick up on desperation and "I just want a chick to bang, ANY chick will do!" a mile away.

 

Just live your life and build yourself up and with that the women will come. You will meet more quality people just doing your thing than you will do in some meat market where nobody really enjoys themselves anyway.

 

Yup. Live your life and treat other people like human beings. Learn to talk to people. Flirt with the ones you find attractive and don't get all desperate and bitter when someone says no. Jeez.

 

By doing your thing and living your life you also meet women who are doing the same that do not subscribe to the meat market mentality.

 

Yes, EXACTLY.

 

I don't get why it's so hard to understand. You end up meeting people who share your interests and who you can actually have a conversation with and relate to.

 

But I guess that's the difference between looking for a person to be with and trying desperately to find a walking vagina/dick to use.

[USMCHokie]

Ive met numerous women.....Nothing

 

 

Then meet more...seriously...it surely isn't an express pass to a relationship...

[stillafool]

This is one of the most false cliches in dating ever. (Most) men really do have to try to get women, they don't just fall into your lap as women experience.

 

"You'll find someone when you're not looking" is bul**** (for men).

 

I have been doing my own thing for quite a while, and I am pretty much never in contract with women and have no opportunities.

 

Maybe your town isn't large enough. I agree with Woggle don't make getting a woman your main focus. Women have the same problem. Look in the dating section at all the women who want to find a nice guy to date. Not every woman can get sex when she wants it or who she wants it with. They are selective just like you. Afterall, if it was just sex you wanted you could get some girl to go to bed with you but you obviously want someone you are attracted to. Well some women feel the same way. They don't want to just have sex with anyone.

[AD1980]

Then meet more...seriously...it surely isn't an express pass to a relationship...

 

I really have no way too..All my friends are married or in relationships and none of them have single female friends and when they did never thought i was good enough to try to sset up with anyone..

 

So the people i hang out with theres never single women around anymore..

[Woggle]

My uncle is a gay man and he has as rough a time with dating as any straight man does but then again he is not into most gay men. He really does not fit in with the gay scene at all.

[dreamingoftigers]

Ive met numerous women.....Nothing

 

One thing I know is that a study done on people that consider themselves lucky is that they switch up their routine even with little things like driving to work on a different route. I know when my H and I travelled for a couple of years that we were incredibly lucky.

 

I know that when I met new guys it was often when I broke off of the daily path that I took.

 

I would say that with girls perhaps frequent the same park etc maybe half of a dozen times and try to be outgoing without being creepy.

 

If you have met dozens and dozens of girls and nothing, that tells me that something is not clicking:

 

1) You are aiming way too high, just like the little computer vids you think that the blonde, tanned and toned girl will fall all over you when you look at her like you might be interested.

 

2) You are so hard up for female contact that you come across as wanting one thing from them, you may only want that thing from them but you have to at least be interested in THAT GIRL enough to notice some other trait about her besides the fact that she has a pair and a crack. Women who do cheap flings still guy the guy to be hot for them, not just wanting sex from the first available orifice.

 

3) You are friendzoning because you might be shy. Not giving enough eye contact because you are shy is actually interpreted as disinterest. Funny because if this is the case, it is actually the opposite.

 

4) You talk about yourself, constantly interrupt and are doing this to try and impress her. Well this act is suicide because she thinks you are just full of yourself and don't want to listen to her, it portrays disinterest in her as well. Try listening to the girl like you hang off of her every word but not staring at her like you just want to nail her. Act like you want her to SPEAK more. Every girl pines for the guy that will listen to her stupid shoe stories and thinks she is attractive. The want the more animal version of their sister. Get it?

 

LISTEN and show DESIRE> not hunt and kill.

[dreamingoftigers]

The play it cool let them come to you or it will happen when you arent looking for it only works for good looking guys who women wil approach or ask a friend about..

 

For guys like me no girl is just gonna approach me out of nowhere believe me ive been ignored for 29 years not approaching and just letting things happen..

 

Oh yeah and ACTUALLY WATCH FOR SIGNS. I've seen so many guys miss the smallest cues and dismiss them. If you have even an inkling that she might like you, act like she does.

[dreamingoftigers]

I really have no way too..All my friends are married or in relationships and none of them have single female friends and when they did never thought i was good enough to try to sset up with anyone..

 

So the people i hang out with theres never single women around anymore..

 

I typically didn't meet my bfs through friends.

 

Frequent a store, be friendly (not creepy or desperate) to people inside it, DO NOT MAKE A MOVE. Go back the next week be friendly again DO NOT MAKE A MOVE. Then start making moves. Establish your rep as the nice guy and then start seeing who is receptive. Act as though people are receptive to you even though it may be awkward.

 

Either that or give up and spent your evenings in front of the comp jerking it like so many others. Whatever. Worth a try, right.

[AD1980]

One thing I know is that a study done on people that consider themselves lucky is that they switch up their routine even with little things like driving to work on a different route. I know when my H and I travelled for a couple of years that we were incredibly lucky.

 

I know that when I met new guys it was often when I broke off of the daily path that I took.

 

I would say that with girls perhaps frequent the same park etc maybe half of a dozen times and try to be outgoing without being creepy.

 

If you have met dozens and dozens of girls and nothing, that tells me that something is not clicking:

 

1) You are aiming way too high, just like the little computer vids you think that the blonde, tanned and toned girl will fall all over you when you look at her like you might be interested.

 

2) You are so hard up for female contact that you come across as wanting one thing from them, you may only want that thing from them but you have to at least be interested in THAT GIRL enough to notice some other trait about her besides the fact that she has a pair and a crack. Women who do cheap flings still guy the guy to be hot for them, not just wanting sex from the first available orifice.

 

3) You are friendzoning because you might be shy. Not giving enough eye contact because you are shy is actually interpreted as disinterest. Funny because if this is the case, it is actually the opposite.

 

4) You talk about yourself, constantly interrupt and are doing this to try and impress her. Well this act is suicide because she thinks you are just full of yourself and don't want to listen to her, it portrays disinterest in her as well. Try listening to the girl like you hang off of her every word but not staring at her like you just want to nail her. Act like you want her to SPEAK more. Every girl pines for the guy that will listen to her stupid shoe stories and thinks she is attractive. The want the more animal version of their sister. Get it?

 

LISTEN and show DESIRE> not hunt and kill.

 

1)I dont have extremely high standards at all but i still have to be somewhat attracted physically to a girl,if my "league" is women i have not a hint of attraction to id rather be alone

 

2)Im passive if anyhting so thats not it

 

3)Thats possible,truth is ive approached hardly any women im pretty shy and dont think a women would want me

 

4)I hardly talk about myself

[dreamingoftigers]

1)I dont have extremely high standards at all but i still have to be somewhat attracted physically to a girl,if my "league" is women i have not a hint of attraction to id rather be alone

 

2)Im passive if anyhting so thats not it

 

3)Thats possible,truth is ive approached hardly any women im pretty shy and dont think a women would want me

 

4)I hardly talk about myself

 

So you have picked door #3 and maybe door #1 is halfway open.

 

Go be nice to women, make more then usual eye contact, make sure your eyes linger on hers for a extra second. Count it in your head. Go do this with EVERY woman you see. Three reasons:

 

1) It will give you practice so that you don't feel awkward doing it. It will boost your confidence. Don't move too quick, establish that you are a not a predator of desperate, which means don't stare her down.

 

2) When you take to one woman and establish that you are nice etc. the extra eye contact leaves an impression with them and they will remember you but not know why.

 

3) If you aren't into that particular woman or if she is taken etc, she may have a friend that isn't and that can lead to something especially if you are established as a nice, confident guy.

 

PM me when you need help figuring out how to close the deal. (Not the sex deal, the getting a date deal.)

[USMCHokie]

Frequent a store, be friendly (not creepy or desperate) to people inside it, DO NOT MAKE A MOVE. Go back the next week be friendly again DO NOT MAKE A MOVE. Then start making moves. Establish your rep as the nice guy and then start seeing who is receptive. Act as though people are receptive to you even though it may be awkward.

 

 

This was worthy of being bolded and repeated. Cold approaches might be seen as creepy, so you sometimes have to build repoire with women at a particular place or activity that you frequent. All it takes is a smile as you pass by on day 1, perhaps a "Hello, how are you" on day 4, and finally a "Hi, I don't believe we've actually met...I'm _____" and a shaking of hands on day 7...eventually, you'll be able to have full conversations with her...and the rest is up to you...

 

By gradually building your presence and rep, you will place the women at ease and make the actual introductions a lot more comfortable for them...as though you had already known each other from before...as you see more of each other and get to know each other better, then you can decide which path you want to go down with her...maybe just friends...? or maybe someone you'd actually like to take out on a date...? This "strategy" (which is a term I HATE to use for this approach, as it's merely being sociable and friendly) is a good approach for those of us guys who aren't blessed with super hotness but just have a good ol' fashioned friendly personality...

 

Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day...

[dreamingoftigers]

This was worthy of being bolded and repeated. Cold approaches might be seen as creepy, so you sometimes have to build repoire with women at a particular place or activity that you frequent. All it takes is a smile as you pass by on day 1, perhaps a "Hello, how are you" on day 4, and finally a "Hi, I don't believe we've actually met...I'm _____" and a shaking of hands on day 7...eventually, you'll be able to have full conversations with her...and the rest is up to you...

 

By gradually building your presence and rep, you will place the women at ease and make the actual introductions a lot more comfortable for them...as though you had already known each other from before...as you see more of each other and get to know each other better, then you can decide which path you want to go down with her...maybe just friends...? or maybe someone you'd actually like to take out on a date...? This "strategy" (which is a term I HATE to use for this approach, as it's merely being sociable and friendly) is a good approach for those of us guys who aren't blessed with super hotness but just have a good ol' fashioned friendly personality...

 

Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day...

 

AND DON'T talk to them almost sadly, like you know that you are going to wipe out. I have seen this approach go up in flames many times. Act like you don't care if they respond, just try to be friendly, this is not about achieving instant results. This is about achieving quality results. It may take a month before you hit on a goldmine, but that is a month that would be lost otherwise.

[USMCHokie]

AND DON'T talk to them almost sadly, like you know that you are going to wipe out. I have seen this approach go up in flames many times. Act like you don't care if they respond, just try to be friendly, this is not about achieving instant results. This is about achieving quality results. It may take a month before you hit on a goldmine, but that is a month that would be lost otherwise.

 

 

Yep, exactly. Remember, this is ultimately about opening yourself up, being friendly, and allowing a woman to see a little bit of your personality. It's all about being sociable and meeting new people...the rest will take care of itself...and the instant you make it your sole goal to try to get in a girl's pants, she'll be able to see right through your "friendliness" and tell you to shove off...

[dreamingoftigers]

Get out there and good luck.

[Engadget]

I can get laid fairly easily as a heterosexual man (although many of the girls tend to have boyfriends and come on to me) but finding someone up to my standards for a relationship is tough.