Kaplan Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 In the dynamics of dating, why do single heterosexual men have the hardest time getting dates/hooking up/getting girlfriends? Why are the odds stacked so heavily against us? Why does society spit in our face? We don't have it that bad. I certainly don't envy women in this regard. It probably is easier for a woman to find somebody to have sex with, but if she wants something more, she has to sort through hundreds of guys that just want to sodomize her. So what if it's easier for them to hook-up? And I think most guys are jerks. I think a question more reflective of reality would be, "Why is it that heterosexual men have the hardest time . . . getting an STD?"
skydiveaddict Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Again because they are always chasing guys a tier (or 3) above me. Exactly, well said
Woggle Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Nowadays I don't think it is easy for anybody with good honest intentions that doesn't want to play games to find somebody. I know I complain about men's issues because that is the angle I see it from and that is what I relate but I am sure women with good intentions have their share of problems as well.
Author OpenGL Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Nowadays I don't think it is easy for anybody with good honest intentions that doesn't want to play games to find somebody. I know I complain about men's issues because that is the angle I see it from and that is what I relate but I am sure women with good intentions have their share of problems as well. The difference is, women make their own problems.
Woggle Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 The difference is, women make their own problems. Some do but some men do as well. I have had a few men on this forum admit that deep down they are not attracted to normal and sane women.
blind_otter Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Another misconception, average guys are not looking for models, far from it. We are looking for our equals, the problem is our equals are out seeking above average and far above average looking guys. Those guys have no problem servicing those women with booty calls, but never a real relationship (as the blogger mentions). This leads the women to believe "all guys are jerks" And my looks are just fine (average), and my post was referring to average guys, not fat slobs. It has little to do with looks and more to do with whether or not the guy can make me feel like there is a ball of electric lightening roiling inside my vag.
SilentVoice Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 It has little to do with looks and more to do with whether or not the guy can make me feel like there is a ball of electric lightening roiling inside my vag. exactly! lml this thread has me in tears lol but can someone please post a picture of what an average guy is.. i just want to see what we are working with or is it his personality that is average?
electricity Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Wallowing in self-pity and bitterness is one of the most attractive traits a person could possibly possess. True fact, guys. This. The rest of this thread is just one long (hilarious!) example of blaming other people for life's difficulties and the grass being greener on the other side. I personally prefer a guy who's up for a challenge and fights for what he wants.
Bejita463 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 The difference is, women make their own problems. Do you suppose they do this by being entirely unwilling to admit that they might be doing something... ANYTHING wrong? ... ... It's not me, its everybody else.
Disillusioned Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Curious. In the dynamics of dating, why do single heterosexual men have the hardest time getting dates/hooking up/getting girlfriends? Why are the odds stacked so heavily against us? Why does society spit in our face? All of the following have absolutely no trouble in the dating world: Single heterosexual women Single bi/lesbian women Single bi/gay men Transgendered Yet, it is VERY HARD for a straight guy to get ANYWHERE in the dating world. Just take a look at this forum for proof of that. I think it's because the old rules are changing whether we want them to or not... and a lot of men AND women know it, but they don't want to adapt to it... so they're trying to push back against it.
Chicago_Guy Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 most of the men i know are either married or dating someone I agree. I am 34 years old and most of my friends are either married or in relationships and they don't go out much. So I am left to try to meet women on my own. I didn't like the women I met when I tried online dating and I don't think I would be able to meet a decent woman by going to bars by myself. I am professionally and financially successful, but at least in my city most women don't seem to care whether a guy is successful because they make money themselves.
Yamaha Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 So these girls you desire should just give you a chance because your a "nice guy"?
Chicago_Guy Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 The biggest problem I have dating is that there is a small handful of unattached, very desirable, rich, tall etc guys who every weekend are banging a new woman, which means that there are a huge portion of women (hot, cute, good personality, average looking, etc) who are focused on them and they don't really want to bother maybe connecting with me or dating me or guys who are not as "great" as them. Then they come on here whining that all guys just want sex. The only women of course who are available to date me , are extremely unattractive and overweight. I am not extremely unattractive and I am not overweight, so why can't I date women who are in my league physically and mentally? Again because they are always chasing guys a tier (or 3) above me. If this happens, then you are going to the wrong places. I could go to a bar and seemingly get no or little attention from even average women, for whatever reason. I'm not really sure what women at bars are usually looking for, but it almost seems like you need to be a pickup artist to be successful at a lot of bars. However, I have met women at my gym who are attracted to me presumably because I am in good shape and take care of myself physically. It is much easier for me in this location possibly because they see me down there regularly and that makes me seem somewhat familiar even if I have never spoken to them previously. If you are at a bar, on the other hand, you are probably trying to meet someone who has never seen you before and that will make most women feel a little suspicious about you - if you aren't totally smooth like a player, a lot of those women won't want you.
lino Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 So these girls you desire should just give you a chance because your a "nice guy"? Well it's often heard from women that it's a nice guy that they want so in theory he wouldn't be so wrong in wanting a chance because he's a nice guy. Anyway... back to reality
annxxdisaster Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Chicken or the egg? The guys who do that for you are exactly the guys who are 6'3, super muscular , and spend 90% of their time on their looks. Not really...
Horse41 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 It has little to do with looks and more to do with whether or not the guy can make me feel like there is a ball of electric lightening roiling inside my vag. Say what? Sexual attraction isn't everything.
phineas Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Say what? Sexual attraction isn't everything. It is when a woman breaks up with you because she doesn't feel it anymore reguardless of the fact you can give her an orgasm. That's a double shot to the heart & nuts that takes a while to recover from.
blind_otter Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) Chicken or the egg? The guys who do that for you are exactly the guys who are 6'3, super muscular , and spend 90% of their time on their looks. That is a huge assumption on your part. I'm only 5' tall, and I don't date men who are taller than 5'11 as a rule. The physics just doesn't work out. Also, I've never dated a wealthy man. I wonder what that would be like. Sexual attraction isn't everything, but I just can't have sex with someone that I'm not sexually attracted to, and if I'm not having sex with someone, then I'm not in a relationship with them because otherwise we can just be friends. Edited May 4, 2010 by blind_otter
romer Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Curious. In the dynamics of dating, why do single heterosexual men have the hardest time getting dates/hooking up/getting girlfriends? Why are the odds stacked so heavily against us? Why does society spit in our face? Well GL, the impression I got from one of your other posts is that you're not into obese women with kids. Since the average woman is a size 14, you need to lift your standards a little...
dreamingoftigers Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 http://open.salon.com/blog/big_fat_trauma_queen/2010/01/24/online_dating_turned_me_into_a_shallow_superficial_jerk Applies to real life too. What you think: All men are jerks that want one night stands Truth: Most men are not jerks, you just don't want them I would say that this person is the EXTREME exception to the rule.
Author OpenGL Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Well GL, the impression I got from one of your other posts is that you're not into obese women with kids. Since the average woman is a size 14, you need to lift your standards a little... Not wanting an obese woman means my standards are too high?
dreamingoftigers Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 OKay, just like everything else in life... If what you are doing isn't working then try something else... I find the odds are very stacked against women finding a guy that they can date for a relationship. Let's begin women make up 51% of the population, strike one out of the 49% of the population that are men: one in every 109 men is in prison, while only one in every 1613 women are in prison. So that takes away 1% of those men. So we are down 48.5% to roughly 51%. 4% of men are exclusively homosexual, while only 1% of women are. So snag another 3% out of the equation. The odds are AUTOMATICALLY stacked in your favor. Plus many men out there aren't looking for dates, they are often just looking to get laid. So up go your odds again of finding a girl that wants to date. I find that the guys that sit around and whine about these things fall into two camps: they come on like predators (talk to a girl like she is a walking vagina, like they would settle for just about anything) or they do nothing at all and expect girls to fall all over them like in the movies. Try having a real conversation with a girl and getting to actually KNOW her before trying to get anywhere. You could just be trying to hard, not trying at all or just trying to pick up the wrong women. In my personal experience I notice that it is the same 75% of men after the same 10% of women, so odds are things aren't going to line up for you if you don't talk to an average girl. Furthermore, you talk about going to the bar, why not go where women are. I had one guy friend (straight) who took up dancing. Yes he went to dance lessons as a single guy. I asked him why (okay I made fun of him) and he told me "to meet girls" and did it ever work. He dated like every girl in that class and met one he really liked. Where else do women go? Do you guys even know? How can you be happy, healthy average-looking nice guys and not be able to get a date? Plus men are statistically more likely to die of snake bites, this is often caused by men who get drunk and tease the snake
sagetalk Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 It has little to do with looks and more to do with whether or not the guy can make me feel like there is a ball of electric lightening roiling inside my vag. To many women's utter discredit, the above statement is true. It is a sad reflection of the quality of girls that are being brought up today. They may be smart, cute, and fun, but they haven't the slightest idea how to select a male for a healthy long term relationship. The above statement will land you in divorced with two kids land frequently. OpenGL, I don't know why you can't see this, but it isn't looks, height, or money as much as it is the way you make them feel. Is it shallow of them, yes, many attractive people are extremely shallow. But, if you want them, you have to play the game the way they want it played. If you want women, just for the sake of having one, then light their pants on fire with passion and you will have to bet them off of you. If all you want is sex, it's not that hard. If you want a girl that's worthy of LTR, well, it's going to be much harder. It's still doable though, you have to make them feel something (anger, joy, betrayal, redemption, frustration, compassion, love, hope) by the truck loads or you're toast. Look at all those dumb sappy romance novels and movies that girls buy, they are full of everything I mentioned above. Women are emotional, they love emotions and they want you to make them feel them over and over and over and over again.
sagetalk Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) 4% of men are exclusively homosexual, while only 1% of women are. So snag another 3% out of the equation. 1. The numbers are skewed, women live longer than men so all those extra numbers are old women which no one dates. 2. Most men are not attracted to obese women. 27% of American women are considered obese and will be undatable by a large majority of average and up guys. 3. Obese men can still get any women, their chances are slimmer than a fit guys, but they are still in the game big time. So as you can see, in the dating pool, guys are down at least 20-30% or more. Thats why skinny/fit girls are so cocky, they are rocking some amazing odds, they must be having a blast . Edited May 4, 2010 by sagetalk
dreamingoftigers Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 1. The numbers are skewed, women live longer than men so all those extra numbers are old women which no one dates. 2. Most men are not attracted to obese women. 27% of American women are considered obese and will be undatable by a large majority of average and up guys. 3. Obese men can still get any women, their chances are slimmer than a fit guys, but they are still in the game big time. So as you can see, in the dating pool, guys are down at least 20-30% or more. Thats why skinny/fit girls are so cocky, they are rocking some amazing odds, they must be having a blast . Those numbers for homosexuality were actually the most conservative ones that I found. And LOL on the obesity, I am obese and never stayed single for very long. Maybe guys should meet a nice girl and then try to get her out for as many walks and hikes as they can LOL.
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