malala7 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 On our first date I was super nervous but we had a great time. He tried to kiss me but it was too unexpected so I moved away akwardly. I thought he was not calling me ever again but he did which was a good sign. We went out again last night and it was fun, I felt a lot more comfortable and relaxed and I think he did too. He touched my arm everytime he could and we laughed and had fun. He then walked me to the metro. While we were walking he told me that I was very conservative and that he didn't know if I wanted a ride or not since I didn't know him that well and what not. I have never thought of my self as conservative, but I am incredibly shy at first. However, once I warm up to someone I'm incredibly affectionate so I am definitely giving him the wrong impression. Well, when we finally made it to the metro we hugged sooo akwardly and I even gave him a hand shake hahaha (i know so ridiculous) then I walked away and he called me again and obviously wanted to kiss me but I kept telling him he was making me feel weird. Probably the wrong choice of words. I did want to kiss him but I just act like a 16 year old when I'm nervous and I wish he had the courage to just go for it without hesitating so much. At the same time I don't blame him for being so nervous since I rejected him the first time he tried. Now he might think I am not into him or just move on. What should I do from here?
Phantom9309 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I think you need to kiss him. Being turned down can cause anyone to be insecure.
TouchedByViolet Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Your story gave me some good laughs, how old are you? Next time you see him give him a nice kiss right off the bat. That will make his day
zebracolors Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 You at least see your problem though. You're giving him all the signals that say you are not attracted to him, so yeah he may be a little confused. And from what you say it sounded like he did muster up the courage once on the 1st date but your actions told him you didn't want him to kiss you. Then on the next one, a hand shake? You may have one more chance but he's got to give you one. I'm not saying to snog his brains out (yet), just a little kiss at first if you're really sure you like him. But yes he could be thinking you are not really interested so you've got to prove him wrong.
Author malala7 Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 haha yes, I'm 24 years old which makes it even worst. At first I'm a ridiculous shy mess but once I warm up I'm very affectionate.
RobM Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Call him up, ask him out, then when you meet walk right up to him and wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him.
mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Yeah...I've been there. I would probably beef up my insecurities after that letdown and not really think of you like anymore than a friend afterwards.
In-The-Wheat Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Not gonna lie, if a girl was that awkward toward me the first 2 dates and didn't kiss me - I would stop contacting you. You best do something if you want this thing to continue.
Author malala7 Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 That is exactly what I was afraid of. Is there any suggestions as to how to get another chance? Perhaps me contacting him and inviting him out? Or should I just accept I screwed it up?
Phantom9309 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I think you already know what you have to do if you want this to blossom into anything more. So go do it and update us later.
mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 That is exactly what I was afraid of. Is there any suggestions as to how to get another chance? Perhaps me contacting him and inviting him out? Or should I just accept I screwed it up? Now this is just me, but if a girl then starts the "NO! I REALLY DO LIKE YOU..." talk, it ruins any fun/attraction mood we had.
marsle85 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 You're sitting in the position of power. Once he contacts you again, meet up with him and lay one on him. Seriously. Just kiss him. He WANTS you to, and he'll be sooo shocked. Guys love and NEED the shock factor.
Author malala7 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 @ Marsle85: I wish I had read your reply before texting him. I like the 'position of power' thing . I texted him to make sure he knew I was interested. He was very friendly told me he was out dancing and that maybe he will show me his new moves..LOL. Then said we'll talk soon and to have a good night. Smily faces and winky faces all over. I was going to ask him to go out again but didn't have a chance since he pretty much said he was busy.
marsle85 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 @ Marsle85: I wish I had read your reply before texting him. I like the 'position of power' thing . I texted him to make sure he knew I was interested. He was very friendly told me he was out dancing and that maybe he will show me his new moves..LOL. Then said we'll talk soon and to have a good night. Smily faces and winky faces all over. I was going to ask him to go out again but didn't have a chance since he pretty much said he was busy. No, no, no, no girly. Do NOT ask him out. You already let him know you were interested. I get that you're shy- it's scary, especially if you like someone. But remember, unfortunately as a rule- people doubt themselves. He wasn't thinking: "wow, this girl is so lame because she won't kiss me. Man, get some self confidence," he's thinking: "She doesn't like me. Why doesn't she like me? She acts like she does, but why? Hmm... what is she thinking? I hope she likes me. Maybe I should do this, no this..." Do you see what you're generating? Then- you throw him a "Just so you know, I'm soo into you" text, and he's like "oh. Really? Cool. But... uh...why didn't she...?" Instead of trying to PLEASE you, he's just kind of confused, and knows he doesn't have to work as hard. BUT- it's not over yet. It's not too late. Just becaues you don't hate the guy, doesn't mean you LIKE him yet- you have to set a precedent. You don't chase him for dates, ever. ever. ever. ever. You let him know you were into him, which may have been necessary because of the kiss issue. But now you lay back, and enjoy his attempts. This is the FUN part for girls, seriously. Don't ruin it for yourself. Do NOT text him asking to do something. He KNOWS you're interested. If he wants to see you again, he will ask. Don't kiss him when you see him, but LET HIM KISS YOU. Do not underestimate how you cute you are. You're a girl- embrace it. It's sooo easy, and soo fun. Smile coyly, let him do all of the thinking. Or atleast, let him THINK he's doing all of the thinking. You really have the control here, but it's found in being subtle and feminine, sweet- acting like you have no idea how cute you are, just how lucky he is. Make him feel LUCKY. No one feels lucky when something's served on a platter for free. Nothing's free. He has to earn you girl.
BobSacamento Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 No, no, no, no girly. Do NOT ask him out. You already let him know you were interested. I get that you're shy- it's scary, especially if you like someone. But remember, unfortunately as a rule- people doubt themselves. He wasn't thinking: "wow, this girl is so lame because she won't kiss me. Man, get some self confidence," he's thinking: "She doesn't like me. Why doesn't she like me? She acts like she does, but why? Hmm... what is she thinking? I hope she likes me. Maybe I should do this, no this..." Do you see what you're generating? Then- you throw him a "Just so you know, I'm soo into you" text, and he's like "oh. Really? Cool. But... uh...why didn't she...?" Instead of trying to PLEASE you, he's just kind of confused, and knows he doesn't have to work as hard. BUT- it's not over yet. It's not too late. Just becaues you don't hate the guy, doesn't mean you LIKE him yet- you have to set a precedent. You don't chase him for dates, ever. ever. ever. ever. You let him know you were into him, which may have been necessary because of the kiss issue. But now you lay back, and enjoy his attempts. This is the FUN part for girls, seriously. Don't ruin it for yourself. Do NOT text him asking to do something. He KNOWS you're interested. If he wants to see you again, he will ask. Don't kiss him when you see him, but LET HIM KISS YOU. Do not underestimate how you cute you are. You're a girl- embrace it. It's sooo easy, and soo fun. Smile coyly, let him do all of the thinking. Or atleast, let him THINK he's doing all of the thinking. You really have the control here, but it's found in being subtle and feminine, sweet- acting like you have no idea how cute you are, just how lucky he is. Make him feel LUCKY. No one feels lucky when something's served on a platter for free. Nothing's free. He has to earn you girl. Long story short - play games.
Author malala7 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Long story short - play games. I don't like games, but I think at the beginning a girl should let the guy do the chasing. I felt I had to text him to let him know that I am interested despite saying he was making me feel weird when he was trying to get close. I am trying to put myself in his position and I would have felt insecure if a guy did that to me.
Author malala7 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Now this is just me, but if a girl then starts the "NO! I REALLY DO LIKE YOU..." talk, it ruins any fun/attraction mood we had. So what do you suggest?
mike1988 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 So what do you suggest? If you two are mutually attracted to each other and have been out alot? I know I'd be wishing the girl would push me against the wall and say "I want you to take me, NOW!"
Chocolat Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I texted him to make sure he knew I was interested. He was very friendly told me he was out dancing and that maybe he will show me his new moves..LOL. Then said we'll talk soon and to have a good night. Smily faces and winky faces all over. I was going to ask him to go out again but didn't have a chance since he pretty much said he was busy. Sorry, but I think he may have written you off.
Author malala7 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Sorry, but I think he may have written you off. The first time we talked he told me he went dancing every Monday so I think I expected him to be out.
aroll32 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 No, no, no, no girly. Do NOT ask him out. You already let him know you were interested. I get that you're shy- it's scary, especially if you like someone. But remember, unfortunately as a rule- people doubt themselves. He wasn't thinking: "wow, this girl is so lame because she won't kiss me. Man, get some self confidence," he's thinking: "She doesn't like me. Why doesn't she like me? She acts like she does, but why? Hmm... what is she thinking? I hope she likes me. Maybe I should do this, no this..." Do you see what you're generating? Then- you throw him a "Just so you know, I'm soo into you" text, and he's like "oh. Really? Cool. But... uh...why didn't she...?" Instead of trying to PLEASE you, he's just kind of confused, and knows he doesn't have to work as hard. BUT- it's not over yet. It's not too late. Just becaues you don't hate the guy, doesn't mean you LIKE him yet- you have to set a precedent. You don't chase him for dates, ever. ever. ever. ever. You let him know you were into him, which may have been necessary because of the kiss issue. But now you lay back, and enjoy his attempts. This is the FUN part for girls, seriously. Don't ruin it for yourself. Do NOT text him asking to do something. He KNOWS you're interested. If he wants to see you again, he will ask. Don't kiss him when you see him, but LET HIM KISS YOU. Do not underestimate how you cute you are. You're a girl- embrace it. It's sooo easy, and soo fun. Smile coyly, let him do all of the thinking. Or atleast, let him THINK he's doing all of the thinking. You really have the control here, but it's found in being subtle and feminine, sweet- acting like you have no idea how cute you are, just how lucky he is. Make him feel LUCKY. No one feels lucky when something's served on a platter for free. Nothing's free. He has to earn you girl. Um, if he's already confused how is any of this going to help? In my past, all relationships that started out like that, where the girl was playing games, ended quickly and I ended up wanting nothing to do with the girl. If a guy is smart, he's not going to let some girl mess with his head. Been there done that, and lesson learned...AVOID GIRLS LIKE THAT. If I was this guy and saw any of those signs I would definitely not make contact. So if you want to have a good relationship with this guy, you should probably avoid the games considering that he probably thinks you are playing them already. I agree with an earlier post, I would've moved on after the hand shake. He already put his feelings on the line and you pushed him away. Actually, I would've thrown up the deuce after you backed away from the kiss. If you can't reciprocate, what's the point of the relationship? Seriously, you just need to kiss him. It will take away all the awkwardness and weird feelings when you're with him. Don't let him get away if you like him.
Author malala7 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Um, if he's already confused how is any of this going to help? In my past, all relationships that started out like that, where the girl was playing games, ended quickly and I ended up wanting nothing to do with the girl. If a guy is smart, he's not going to let some girl mess with his head. Been there done that, and lesson learned...AVOID GIRLS LIKE THAT. If I was this guy and saw any of those signs I would definitely not make contact. So if you want to have a good relationship with this guy, you should probably avoid the games considering that he probably thinks you are playing them already. I agree with an earlier post, I would've moved on after the hand shake. He already put his feelings on the line and you pushed him away. Actually, I would've thrown up the deuce after you backed away from the kiss. If you can't reciprocate, what's the point of the relationship? Seriously, you just need to kiss him. It will take away all the awkwardness and weird feelings when you're with him. Don't let him get away if you like him. I agree with you. If I like someone I want to be myself, not all those games I can't even spend the time on planning. I think I'm just going to let it be. Whatever it might be there is nothing better that things just happening. If he likes me and we go out again great, I'll stop acting like an idiot pushing him away and just kiss him. If he doesn't call me, whatever reason may it be. Either he is not interested or is but thinks I'm not then too bad. I am shy and I felt akward and weird and whoever wants to get to know me has to know the real me and not all this player crap that sound so good on paper but everyone ends up confused and hurt.
Author malala7 Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 Just a quick update: We went out tonight and we kissed. It was perfect! Thanks for all the advice
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