GypsyRayne Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I posted here awhile back about my husband posting on craigslist for sex while I was working. I saw the ad, emails from and to him, phone #'s where he had been talking to them, etc. The last time I found something was in November, but I still do not trust him. He said there was never anything physical, only online. But how can I be sure? I can't. He has since we have been together told me he doesn't want me over and over, said he doesn't love me, says horrible things to me in addition to these, but always he says it's my fault. That I bring it on myself. I read these threads and I see that if someone is sorry for what they have done, they do the necessary things to make it right again. I don't feel my husband does. He says it is my problem like I should just forget it happened. I cringe when I see him near a computer. I feel as if he is always looking for someone else. He is very emotionally detached. Always has been. He rarely wants to have sex with me, saying it's because we are not in sync with eachother. I am a mess inside because of the things he has said to me over the years, oh he comes back and says he didn't mean it, but they are still there. Any advice?
lostsoulmate Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Leave. Only "you" have the power to make "you" happy.
You Go Girl Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Leave. Only "you" have the power to make "you" happy. I second that notion. By the time they're posting for sex on craigslist, they've already had an affair or ONS somewhere along the way, or been hiring prostitutes and now want to save a little money because their thrill costs too much. It isn't your fault. He's an ass, and he's going to bring a disease home one day. You know, there are thousands of internet sites about how to hide computer history from a wife.
Fouts Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Unless you have children, why are you still with someone like that? If you have children, then you're going to have to think about what's best for everyone involved.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I see this woman hasnt learned ANYTHING from the discussion's we used to have. This is the man she's married to, he used to be her former OM, the one she left an abusive marriage for. Karma done ran her over and yet she still doesnt understand that she can be on her on and be by herself and have a healthy relationship with a good man. Women like these are a lost cause because they only hear and do what they want to do. They dont take good advice and apply it. like they are addicted to drama. This guy has been abusing her since he got her. Maybe she feels like she cannot do any better, maybe she feels like this is punishment for what she did to her ex husband. Oh might i remind you when her ex caught her and her current husband he took a shotgun and almost gunned her down. lol. Jerry springer i tell you. Gypsy listen carefully because im only gonna write this once, and one time only. You can be on your own and live your life the right way, no more drama. Find a good and decent man and have self esteem and confidence to not make any more stupid azz choices in your life. This man will be your downfall..
xxoo Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 This is the man she's married to, he used to be her former OM, the one she left an abusive marriage for. . Without knowing anymore of the backstory, it seems like this new husband is abusive as well: He has since we have been together told me he doesn't want me over and over, said he doesn't love me, says horrible things to me in addition to these, but always he says it's my fault. That I bring it on myself. Gypsy, you need to be alone for a while, do counseling, and fix your People-picker. There seems to be a pattern, and it will continue until you address your own issues. Definitely dump this guy, and don't jump into the arms of another!
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 See her original posts...youll see. i talked with gypsy a long time ago.
BlackLovely Posted May 9, 2010 Posted May 9, 2010 I don't agree, that staying for the children in an unhappy marriage, is a good idea. Parents are exposing their children to extreme tension and sadness in their home; this sets the stage for warped views of what marriage is supposed to be like. Believe me, I grew up seeing such a marriage and it damaged me to no end. I found that when I learned to love myself, I begin to attract decent and caring gentlemen. The abuses I suffered left me with self esteem issues; I accepted more abuse from men because I didn't feel that I deserved any better. Getting yourself into counseling might be helpful. Leaving is easier said than done, but perhaps your therapist can help you build your confidence enough to get away from this pig.
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