Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I kinda look like this http://riqo.free.fr/camblog/0611/borat_cannes.jpg not exactly a ken doll. But I have no problem getting women. I currently have a really hot, cool, fun gf. First step in the right direction is not caring about your looks. What I mean is just be proud of the way you look no matter what people say, and obviously the women who posted here find you attractive. Next step you have to try... yes don't just expect girls to kiss you, or undress themselves. You have to put yourself out there and face rejection by kissing girls and trying to get them out of their clothes. Finaly, just be yourself, don't be some fake person who tries to be a girls friend and avoids upsetting them by not saying and doing what is really on your mind such as kissing and touching them. You walk around in a one-piece Green??? Borat looks like a dork, but Sacha Baron Cohen is incredibly hot .
EasyHeart Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I get the same thing, I get women that I like and they have fun with me but never seem to consider me. So my last date a few weeks ago was with a girl I wasn't really interested in. She was nice but I just didn't feel much for her and found something interesting. I didn't tell her much about myself, I wasn't forthcoming with information and when she asked personal questions I avoided them mostly. When she originally asked me out, I indicated I did not consider it a date, just a get together. When she started fishing for compliments and I didn't bite. When she tried to to gauge my interest I displayed indifference. Honestly I was not interested at all and it showed, but as a result she won't stop calling or texting me, even after a week of me not calling her. Don't get too friendly and don't tell them too much about you, sit back a bit and show indifference. If they get friendly-flirty, you don't need to go along with it. Hold back a little. I've noticed this lately, too. But I think these women tend to be of the needy/damaged variety that habituate the bar scene. You have to ask yourself if you really want to get messed up with one of these messes. Definitely not girlfriend material.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I wonder: what if you thought about the girls you meet. what is it about them that makes you want to get to know them more? Well i dont meet many girls im not good with women but thats another story lol.. What would get me to want to know more about a girl is if i approached and she seemed like a genuinely nice caring effectionate good hearted person.. I wouldnt be overanalyzing her thinking she was too nice she should have held back and been more mysterious thats for damn sure..
Green Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 You walk around in a one-piece Green??? Borat looks like a dork, but Sacha Baron Cohen is incredibly hot . Well I look like Sasha Baron Cohen so I guess you would find me hot . The point still stands, when I was single if a girl said I looked like a creep I would just make out with her anyways get her number and never call. Stop being so afraid of women and just go out there and get the ones you like. Its easy, you just have to stop worrying so much. Women actually love nice guys, its just that people who do bad with women have declared them selves "nice guys" for one reason or another and blame that as the reason. Men should really be asking why women don't like to be with guys who don't try anything and are afraind of rejection. Seriously if you just kissed girls... maybe you would get slapped... but most likely they would like it... heck even if they slap you just smile and and try to go in for another kiss.
Author mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Failing that, like zebra, I'll happily tear your clothes off. Funny enough, I noticed you were a hottie too. I don't know. I look great on paper...but I'm just a cowboy really. I like outdoors and fishing but I also am assertive and even more-so after being in the Military. I always assumed it was my looks...I'm not "hot" or "sexy", but I guess cute will have to do.
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Well i dont meet many girls im not good with women but thats another story lol.. What would get me to want to know more about a girl is if i approached and she seemed like a genuinely nice caring effectionate good hearted person.. I wouldnt be overanalyzing her thinking she was too nice she should have held back and been more mysetioua thats for damn sure.. I get you. I'm attracted to men who seem genuinely nice, caring and affectionate. But even then, there has to be a balance: it's hard to describe. If he at all gives me the vibe that he might be "desperate", I get turned off. At the same time, I found that my own dating life improved tenfolds once I stopped trying to "impress" the guys I was dating and found the proper balance between showing interest and letting them show interest in turn.
Lakeside_runner Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I agree with that im like that anyway with most people..I dont talk about myself much unless im asked.. Im just not into all these games..Dont give her too much, act indifferent or aloof..Care but dont care too much..Compliment but dont compliment too much..Ignore but dont ingore too much Seems like its overanalyzing women and if its true then its not worth the headache if it has to be this difficult.. Im a good hearted dude and im gonna be myself on a date if she thinks im too sweet or show too much then she can hit the bricks.. Lifes too short for this Bottoms up to this!!! EXACTLY!!! Anything else is just... fake!
Woggle Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Just be yourself and be natural. That is the way I always was with women and it has worked quite well. Playing games is a waste of time and will not get you anything worthwhile.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I get you. I'm attracted to men who seem genuinely nice, caring and affectionate. But even then, there has to be a balance: it's hard to describe. If he at all gives me the vibe that he might be "desperate", I get turned off. At the same time, I found that my own dating life improved tenfolds once I stopped trying to "impress" the guys I was dating and found the proper balance between showing interest and letting them show interest in turn. Well of course theryes lines..If shes talking marriage or something after the first few dates im heading for the hills.. But i think weve reached a point of overanalyzing things too much.."He complimented me too much he must be desperate" Just let things sort out and if he sees like a genuinely good person and youre attracted to him give it a chance.. If hes too clingy or desperate or needy youll also find that out quickly and can leave but people seem to be making a preemptive move before it even happens ebcasue of some words that were said that they think is evidence of clinginess or desperation..
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Just be yourself and be natural. That is the way I always was with women and it has worked quite well. Playing games is a waste of time and will not get you anything worthwhile. Tha's my feelings..Im too old to play games..Some women on here are confusing guys because they want somebody mysterious and not to upfront blah blah blah.. If some girl off one date or one conversation wants no part of me becasue i was too nice or complimentary i probably dont want that insecure headcase anyway..
mem11363 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Mike, This is a HUGE difference between men and women. If you first meet a woman you are attracted to - making eye contact, being funny and lightly flirting/touching her IS being nice. It IS complimenting her. Telling her she is pretty is sort of overkill if you get what I mean. Unless she asks of course. If she is flirting with you and asks "do you like this shirt, or this skirt, or these pants?" you can compliment while playing: - on a skirt (would like it better if it was a little shorter) - on pants (I like shorts better) - on a top (its fine - a halter would look better) All said with a smile. Those responses work way better than - yes it looks very nice on you. And you can make her work for it too - and women like a playful guy - remember they are hunting you every bit as much as you are hunting them. So have fun with it. I am guessing you are coming across as too available. Being interested in someone as a person is WAY different than seeming anxious to go on a date. Funny enough, I noticed you were a hottie too. I don't know. I look great on paper...but I'm just a cowboy really. I like outdoors and fishing but I also am assertive and even more-so after being in the Military. I always assumed it was my looks...I'm not "hot" or "sexy", but I guess cute will have to do.
starwolf242 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Funny enough, I noticed you were a hottie too. I don't know. I look great on paper...but I'm just a cowboy really. I like outdoors and fishing but I also am assertive and even more-so after being in the Military. I always assumed it was my looks...I'm not "hot" or "sexy", but I guess cute will have to do. It's not your looks. Trust me You have to remember you're still young and self confidence comes with age and life's knocks. When I was 22 I was painfully shy about how I looked. Actually I always had been. Never thought of myself as attractive but I'd already matured alot due to living on my own in London and that made me confident in my personality and I was able to make friends with lots of guys but was too timid to have any real relationships because I thought i was ugly. Now I'm no super fox but at nearly 25 I'm so much more confident in how i look (with the exception of a recent shattering blow to my self esteem by my ex), my sexuality and what I want from life and a man. Frankly I'm thankful that as a girl I am not pressured to approach men. Honestly i don't know how you guys can do it if you have even the slightest bit of insecurity. But see what i was saying about you making it clear you're interested in someone..... I don't think of you as a big brother now P.S. I go fishing with my dad and used to be in the scouts so the outdoors and a bit of mud doesn't bother me.
marsle85 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 don't just expect girls to kiss you, or undress themselves. Every man AND women would benefit from Green's wisdom.
marsle85 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Oh, and you would be 3480348x "hotter" looking and less "cute" looking if you buzzcut/shave your head. Mmmmmmm Badass. Plus, I've been on this redhead boy kick, trust me. I have your best intentions at heart.
Author mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Mike, you are hot so I don't see why you are getting automatically friendzoned. Being gorgeous and a nice guy isn't a bad thing and it sounds like you have confidence in the fact you have alot to offer so the only thing I can think is that maybe the women you are being 'big brother' to aren't the type that go for guys like you. There's nothing you can do about that and there is no reason for you to change because there are girls that look for guys like you. I'm one. I'm guessing you treat women very respectfully and this is very important but can sometimes come across as too much politeness and shrouds the fact you are sexually interested in them. You need to let these women know that you are a red blooded man who is attracted to them while still treating them with respect. I've come to the conclusion that there are 2 ways to get into the friendzone, one is the woman puts you there because she is not interested and the other is that you put yourself there by not letting her know you are interested. You can try all the dating games and creating a band etc but at the end of the day if a woman doesn't know you want her, she'll assume you're just wanting to be her friend. Let a woman see you are attracted to her and the only way you'll be her big brother is if she doesn't return the attraction. Failing that, like zebra, I'll happily tear your clothes off. Oh, and you would be 3480348x "hotter" looking and less "cute" looking if you buzzcut/shave your head. Mmmmmmm Badass. Plus, I've been on this redhead boy kick, trust me. I have your best intentions at heart. Well that's been done. I was in the Military and they shaved it off. See? http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs452.ash1/24896_10150125778500035_809565034_11528490_1009560_n.jpg http://w2.socialhi.com/img/socialme/n/015/427/624.jpg http://hphotos-sjc1.fbcdn.net/hs283.snc3/27818_10150166281930061_503070060_12279404_3628126_n.jpg
Author mike1988 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 It's not your looks. Trust me You have to remember you're still young and self confidence comes with age and life's knocks. When I was 22 I was painfully shy about how I looked. Actually I always had been. Never thought of myself as attractive but I'd already matured alot due to living on my own in London and that made me confident in my personality and I was able to make friends with lots of guys but was too timid to have any real relationships because I thought i was ugly. Now I'm no super fox but at nearly 25 I'm so much more confident in how i look (with the exception of a recent shattering blow to my self esteem by my ex), my sexuality and what I want from life and a man. Frankly I'm thankful that as a girl I am not pressured to approach men. Honestly i don't know how you guys can do it if you have even the slightest bit of insecurity. But see what i was saying about you making it clear you're interested in someone..... I don't think of you as a big brother now P.S. I go fishing with my dad and used to be in the scouts so the outdoors and a bit of mud doesn't bother me. Wow. Sounds like we'd hit it off. Here's to the next life.
Green Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Every man AND women would benefit from Green's wisdom. Thanks I'm flattered, but really I'm not wise I just try to motivate people to take actions and actually come back with stories of failure rather then generic girls think I'm nice that must be my problem... NO... girls like nice guys... Nice guys who also are men of action. Wow. Sounds like we'd hit it off. Here's to the next life. Dude none of this next life talk. Seriously I when I was single I once got a crush on a girl who posted on here... actualy multiple girls and I offered to fly them out to see me... yes thats crazy, but some times you have to be a little crazy. Come back here with UPDATES on how you flirted with the cute girl in line at the supermarket or how you went to the park and invited the hot girl walking her dog to your friends bar-b-q pool party... Go out there and hit on girls and most importantly KISS THEM. Look if you have a girl who is a "friend" who in reality you have a crush on.. but you just settle for being friends because you are afraid of rejection.... well invite her out alon and then just KISS her and make no apologies what so ever. If she doesn't want to be ur friend anymore so be it, atleast you were your self for once instead of some fake "nice guy" who just wanted to be her friend or big bros...
dreamingoftigers Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Honestly: extra eye contact! I had this friend that I was totally into (I was very shy) and I thought this guy was totally into me too but he just wouldn't ask me out. I thought he was totally stuck on me and I couldn't figure this out. Turns out that a lot of other girls had the same experience and he would get asked out a lot. Now him and his husband live a happy life in Vancouver. LOL But I did notice why he always seemed to pick up the girls. He would look at me like he was hanging off of my every word. I noticed when I went to visit him last year. Wow, what an impact. Keeps you out of friendzone for sure.
Yamaha Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Nice guys who also are men of action. Look if you have a girl who is a "friend" who in reality you have a crush on.. but you just settle for being friends because you are afraid of rejection.... well invite her out alon and then just KISS her and make no apologies what so ever. If she doesn't want to be ur friend anymore so be it, atleast you were your self for once instead of some fake "nice guy" who just wanted to be her friend or big bros... Good advice, Mr Green......
Left in a Lurch Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Ehh im not for all this ignore her dont show her effection or too much compliments and keep her wanting more garbage.. But apparently that is not woking very well from your original post. It's not about ignoring her, it's about making it less than obvious that she can have you easily if she wants. It's about not telling her everything about you that you instantly become a "brother" and a safe non-sexual guy friend for her to rely on. If you become that, you become the guy she hangs out with when bored, flirts with when she needs compliments, and cries to when the other guy actually having sex with her ignores her. You become the guy she will never want to go any further with because she is very comfortable with you. A little discomfort peaks the curiosity and a little indifference signals a challenge and makes her view you as a man and not her brother. If you act like a brother, how else would she ever view you? To me, a game is acting like her brother when you really want to be her lover.
samsungxoxo Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 What do you do? Here is my simple answer to your issue...... You do absolutely nothing. If they don't want you, screw them. No one can make you change who you are. If you have to actually go all the way to make a tremendous effort or change something within you for them to have a great impression and more pass friendship, then guess what? They weren't even worth your time.
starwolf242 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Wow. Sounds like we'd hit it off. Here's to the next life. What if there is no next life? Like green says you should just try. If you want to talk to me more, then just say.
Author mike1988 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 What if there is no next life? Like green says you should just try. If you want to talk to me more, then just say. I do.
starwolf242 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 (edited) they won't let me send my email address so you have to private message me Edited May 4, 2010 by starwolf242
Kamille Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Mike, I think you might be too much of a new member to have pm privileges yet or else you need to activate your pm function, in the My Profile menu. Good luck you crazy youngsters!
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