mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I'm out of the Military, about 6 ft tall, 160 lbs, and I have a deep commanding voice. I'm not smug or an a-hole...but I'm not a pushover either. I'm also rather intense and passionate in bed. My big thing though is that I come across as every girl's big brother, not "OMG I wanna tear his clothes off" but "OMG he's so funny and nice and cool to hang out with...but I don't like him like that..." What can I do to change this? http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs238.snc1/8534_276952065060_503070060_9147901_8162137_n.jpg That's me.
Rorschach Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 meet more women, be more forward? Your not a bad looking guy or anything so the only reason you'd get friendlisted is because your not putting out a 'dating' vibe but a 'friend' vibe. Be more flirty and meet more women.
mem11363 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Can you be funny in a playfully rough kind of way? Where you make fun of someone/tease them - give them a hard time. And at the same time you get inside there personal space - not in a jerky way but sort of with a light sense of entitlement. Kind of radiating the assumption that they WANT you to touch them. And the absolute hardest thing - is to have just a bit of an edge. This is absolutely the single hardest thing to learn/teach but it is really helpful sexually. It is a combo of body language and tone of voice. Guys who have too much edge are either in prison or anger management classes. Guys with just the right amount - plus a sense of humor - killer combo. Find a guy who is really good at this and get him to spend a little time with you. I'm out of the Military, about 6 ft tall, 160 lbs, and I have a deep commanding voice. I'm not smug or an a-hole...but I'm not a pushover either. I'm also rather intense and passionate in bed. My big thing though is that I come across as every girl's big brother, not "OMG I wanna tear his clothes off" but "OMG he's so funny and nice and cool to hang out with...but I don't like him like that..." What can I do to change this? http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs238.snc1/8534_276952065060_503070060_9147901_8162137_n.jpg That's me.
zebracolors Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I'm out of the Military, about 6 ft tall, 160 lbs, and I have a deep commanding voice. I'm not smug or an a-hole...but I'm not a pushover either. I'm also rather intense and passionate in bed. My big thing though is that I come across as every girl's big brother, not "OMG I wanna tear his clothes off" but "OMG he's so funny and nice and cool to hang out with...but I don't like him like that..." What can I do to change this? http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs238.snc1/8534_276952065060_503070060_9147901_8162137_n.jpg That's me. Well I'd like to tear your clothes off..;) Teasing! I like Mem's points. Right balance of confidence and humor is what attracted me to my ex-LDR, so it would attract me probably.
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Wow yeah, you're cute! I think Mem and Rorschach make good points. You likely need to be a bit more flirtatious with women so that they clearly get the message that you're interested in more than friendship.
espec10001 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Learn how to play an instrument, dance, or sing and you will attract women. Music and women go together great!
Author mike1988 Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Learn how to play an instrument, dance, or sing and you will attract women. Music and women go together great! I play guitar already
espec10001 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I play guitar already Then goto some open mics or play on the street, start a band, join a band, really they have to 'see' you and 'hear' you play live. There's a reason they call it the BIRDS and the bees. They the bees haha
romer Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 First of all, thank GOD for guys like you! I have been kissing frogs for as long as I can remember... The key to attracting a girl is self confidence. To me, a man who has this going for him is irresistable. You don't want to come across as being so confident that you're untouchable, but when you meet a girl, look her in the eye, know what you want to say, be proud of who you are, and by all means act like what she says is important...remember the details. Then, dont fawn all over her...leave a little mystery there. If you get her number, be sure to call when you say you will. Don't psycho dial. Let her respond to you. Just remember, dont appear needy.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 First of all, thank GOD for guys like you! I have been kissing frogs for as long as I can remember... The key to attracting a girl is self confidence. To me, a man who has this going for him is irresistable. You don't want to come across as being so confident that you're untouchable, but when you meet a girl, look her in the eye, know what you want to say, be proud of who you are, and by all means act like what she says is important...remember the details. Then, dont fawn all over her...leave a little mystery there. If you get her number, be sure to call when you say you will. Don't psycho dial. Let her respond to you. Just remember, dont appear needy. Sounds good except for the mystery bs,to me that sounds like games and im too old to be playing games..
romer Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 no, not games, just don't lay it all out there during your first conversation...
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 no, not games, just don't lay it all out there during your first conversation... Lay what out there? Dont give her any compliments?
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Lay what out there? Dont give her any compliments? For me it means: don't act like you have to convince the other person that you're worthy of interest. Know you're worthy of interest. Be playful, but let the other person seek you out a little.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 For me it means: don't act like you have to convince the other person that you're worthy of interest. Know you're worthy of interest. Be playful, but let the other person seek you out a little. The women doesnt usually seek out its usually the guy who has to do all the groundwork early on unfortunately The play it cool dont show too much interest only works if youre really good looking..
starwolf242 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Mike, you are hot so I don't see why you are getting automatically friendzoned. Being gorgeous and a nice guy isn't a bad thing and it sounds like you have confidence in the fact you have alot to offer so the only thing I can think is that maybe the women you are being 'big brother' to aren't the type that go for guys like you. There's nothing you can do about that and there is no reason for you to change because there are girls that look for guys like you. I'm one. I'm guessing you treat women very respectfully and this is very important but can sometimes come across as too much politeness and shrouds the fact you are sexually interested in them. You need to let these women know that you are a red blooded man who is attracted to them while still treating them with respect. I've come to the conclusion that there are 2 ways to get into the friendzone, one is the woman puts you there because she is not interested and the other is that you put yourself there by not letting her know you are interested. You can try all the dating games and creating a band etc but at the end of the day if a woman doesn't know you want her, she'll assume you're just wanting to be her friend. Let a woman see you are attracted to her and the only way you'll be her big brother is if she doesn't return the attraction. Failing that, like zebra, I'll happily tear your clothes off.
Lakeside_runner Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 The women doesnt usually seek out its usually the guy who has to do all the groundwork early on unfortunately The play it cool dont show too much interest only works if youre really good looking.. I think what is meant here is the following: don't give out all info about you. Let her do the talking and telling you about her. Ask questions, ask follow-up questions etc. The better you get to know her and the less she knows about you - the better it is. Of course she will ask questions and you should answer them the best you can but don't brag about anything - just give her facts and let her be the judge. I agree with the whole "you don't want to convince her to be with you"-thing Just be yourself and humbly proud of your accomplishments. The rest will follow naturally.
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 The women doesnt usually seek out its usually the guy who has to do all the groundwork early on unfortunately The play it cool dont show too much interest only works if youre really good looking.. I agree the guy has to do the approach, especially in bar situations. But once you've approached a woman, act confident and yes, act a little intriguing. I've talked to guys and girls about this. You have two types of approaches in bars: the approach where the guy feels that because he approached you he has to convince you he's interesting and the approach where a guy leaves you intrigued and wanting to know more. Basically the "take it or leave it" attitude described above. Generally though, I met my dates through my social networks, at parties for instance. I know that I'm much more approachable in a party situation than in a bar. So, recommendation: milk your social networks! It makes approaching so much easier!
Left in a Lurch Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I get the same thing, I get women that I like and they have fun with me but never seem to consider me. So my last date a few weeks ago was with a girl I wasn't really interested in. She was nice but I just didn't feel much for her and found something interesting. I didn't tell her much about myself, I wasn't forthcoming with information and when she asked personal questions I avoided them mostly. When she originally asked me out, I indicated I did not consider it a date, just a get together. When she started fishing for compliments and I didn't bite. When she tried to to gauge my interest I displayed indifference. Honestly I was not interested at all and it showed, but as a result she won't stop calling or texting me, even after a week of me not calling her. Don't get too friendly and don't tell them too much about you, sit back a bit and show indifference. If they get friendly-flirty, you don't need to go along with it. Hold back a little.
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Ehh im not for all this ignore her dont show her effection or too much compliments and keep her wanting more garbage..
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I get the same thing, I get women that I like and they have fun with me but never seem to consider me. So my last date a few weeks ago was with a girl I wasn't really interested in. She was nice but I just didn't feel much for her and found something interesting. I didn't tell her much about myself, I wasn't forthcoming with information and when she asked personal questions I avoided them mostly. When she originally asked me out, I indicated I did not consider it a date, just a get together. When she started fishing for compliments and I didn't bite. When she tried to to gauge my interest I displayed indifference. Honestly I was not interested at all and it showed, but as a result she won't stop calling or texting me, even after a week of me not calling her. Don't get too friendly and don't tell them too much about you, sit back a bit and show indifference. If they get friendly-flirty, you don't need to go along with it. Hold back a little. Yeah, I guess most ladies like the thrill of the "chase" as much as men are reported to like the chase.
alphamale Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 but "OMG he's so funny and nice and cool to hang out with...but I don't like him like that..." What can I do to change this? stop being funny and nice
Lakeside_runner Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Ehh im not for all this ignore her dont show her effection or too much compliments and keep her wanting more garbage.. Me neither - but there is a difference between a) trying hard to convince her that she should want you - like listing everything you've accomplished so far etc. vs b) being really interested in her and wanting to know her while giving only so much of yourself as she wants to take at the moment Bottom line: going out on a date with somebody whom I find interesting I try to find out as much as possible about them and let them do the same. This is what keeps the conversation flowing. You ask her a question she replies. Either she asks "What about you?" or not. If she doesn't ask a follow-up question etc. I don't know, I rarely go like: "Me, I am...". Why would I talk about myself if she didn't ask? huh?
Green Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I kinda look like this http://riqo.free.fr/camblog/0611/borat_cannes.jpg not exactly a ken doll. But I have no problem getting women. I currently have a really hot, cool, fun gf. First step in the right direction is not caring about your looks. What I mean is just be proud of the way you look no matter what people say, and obviously the women who posted here find you attractive. Next step you have to try... yes don't just expect girls to kiss you, or undress themselves. You have to put yourself out there and face rejection by kissing girls and trying to get them out of their clothes. Finaly, just be yourself, don't be some fake person who tries to be a girls friend and avoids upsetting them by not saying and doing what is really on your mind such as kissing and touching them.
Kamille Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Ehh im not for all this ignore her dont show her effection or too much compliments and keep her wanting more garbage.. It's not actually about keeping her wanting garbarge. It's about, like Lakeside runner said, finding the proper balance between showing interest and not handing yourself over on a silver platter. I wonder: what if you thought about the girls you meet. what is it about them that makes you want to get to know them more?
AD1980 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 "What about you?" or not. If she doesn't ask a follow-up question etc. I don't know, I rarely go like: "Me, I am...". Why would I talk about myself if she didn't ask? huh? I agree with that im like that anyway with most people..I dont talk about myself much unless im asked.. Im just not into all these games..Dont give her too much, act indifferent or aloof..Care but dont care too much..Compliment but dont compliment too much..Ignore but dont ingore too much Seems like its overanalyzing women and if its true then its not worth the headache if it has to be this difficult.. Im a good hearted dude and im gonna be myself on a date if she thinks im too sweet or show too much then she can hit the bricks.. Lifes too short for this
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