PetePete25 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Hello folks, I am a 25yr old professional Engineer and just wanted some general advice and comments regarding a date. A few weeks ago I started talking to this young lady online and within a few weeks of convo we scheduled a date to meet up. I picked her up, opened the door for her, greeted her and we had a nice dinner. We ate, had coffee and ice cream afterwards and I dropped her off home. I hugged her and told her that I enjoyed her company and we should do it again. Within those 3 hours, I really felt a connection and our conversation was rather smooth unlike others in the past. She asked me to txt her when I got home and I left. I text her, wished her a good night and she replied saying the same and that she hadn't had that much fun in a while. The next day she text me in the afternoon saying hello, we had talked back and forth a bit and she hinted to call her. The next day I called her, we talked a bit and I asked if she would like to go out the following weekend. She didn't give me a definite answer but I accepted and didn't want to press the issue. A few days later (fri) I called left a msg and text asking how she was and if she was interested in going out that weekend, she called back with a few hours and said sure. We planned to spend a day together on sunday, I thought it would be cool to be out and about during the day. I picked her up, we had lunch at a nice place and we went to a gokart/arcade park. We raced a bit and had many laughs, complimented her. She said she was tired so I suggested we get some coffee and call it a day. We got coffee & donuts, had a good conversation and I took her home. I dropped her home, gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek..I got the impression that she was uncomfortable with that, she said it was fun and walked in. Later that night, I text her that it was fun and told her good night (that was yesterday). This morning I noticed that she left her phone charger in my car, I txt her letting her know. From the last two msgs, I havnt heard anything back, normally It wouldn't bother me but for some reason this time its affecting me somehow.. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated. Pete
Phantom9309 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Maybe her phone is turned off to save some juice till she gets a new charger? I'd try not to think too much into it.
Author PetePete25 Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 I am sure she has a house charger, I don't think that's it.. Still nothing. What do u guys suggest my next move to be ? Thanks, Pete
paleblue Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 I am sure she has a house charger, I don't think that's it.. Still nothing. What do u guys suggest my next move to be ? Thanks, Pete i suggest you do nothing. let her contact/pursue you. and if she doesnt than o well. next. thats my 0.02 cents.
Author PetePete25 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 She eventually did reply and apologized for her cell phone being down. It was late so she asked for me to call her sometime. I called her today and after talking for about 10min about random things she mentioned about not wanting to lead me on in the wrong direction and she just wanted to be just friends. She mentioned that that could maybe turn into something more but that's what she wanted for now. I mentioned that it was a bit sad and that friends usually remain just that "friends" ... I am not sure why i didn't ask why or if there was even a purpose to ask that... Anyway though i would share... Pete
USMCHokie Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Eh...sh*t happens...just pick yourself up and move on to someone who wants to be more than friends...at least it's better that she said this sooner rather than later, when you might be more emotionally invested... Next, please...
JamesDean5398 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 don't get caught up on this one girl. There are more out there. Congrats on the dates and be courages to do what you did. you did good. just next time don't share you feelings with her so quickly by calling her. perhaps after two weeks text her and see how she is doing that is if you are still thinking about her. I have the feeling that she is dating another person as well. hope this helps. cheers.
Author PetePete25 Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 I appreciate all your comments and being positive. That being said after my last response as I was about to goto bed, I received a call from her. She started the conversation about wanting to make sure that I was ok and that she didn't want to be the cause of anyone's hard times. My response was that I was not upset but rather bit sad and that I would get over it. After a few brief seconds of silence she said that I was the sweetest guy she ever met and that I was different than what she is used to and she continued to say nice things. She continued to say she doesn't want to lose me if things don't work out hence her response. It sounded like she was crying at this point and I questioned if our time together was enjoyable, what's wrong with different ? After another few seconds of silence she mentioned a very private time in her life not to long ago when she was hurt badly apparently. She asked me a few personal questions, in which I answered as honest as possible. I told her that I was sorry that someone did that to her but that it could have been worse and that u will have to move on at some point. At this point (30+ min), I really didn't know what to say or feel. I told her in some things in life u will never know if u don't try, that being said its unfair to expect us to wait for whatever reason for one another. Lastly I said that I appreciate the call, but at the end of the day "it takes two", and if u aren't into it or need more time or whatever then we should prob move on... She said she agreed and that she still wanted to see me (not sure what that means again). I said I think it would be great to spend a few days and reflect about what we talked about and see how we think then ? I mentioned this weekend was Mothers day and that we would talk sometime after then..and that was it. As I prepared for bed, I got a text saying " thnx for being so good about this ..i know its not easy for either of us...talk to u soon and take care". Did I say the right things ? What am I supposed to think or do at this point ? Thanks Pete
Philetus Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 I think you're doing great! It sounds like she's been hurt badly and likely pretty recently. Be open and available to her, let her talk and prepare yourself for a pretty bad/sad story. Take things slowly and don't put pressure on her. Again... I think you're doing exactly the right thing.
Author PetePete25 Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 I appreciate the compliment phil. I honestly can't help but feel a little weird and indefinite. Her responses weren't clear in my opinion and even cloudier given her emotional situation. I know you mentioned not to pressure her, but a part of me wants to know if I should move on and support her as a friend or try for something more while being mature about it. There is obviously some type of connection here and its painful for me as well...even more now that its all up in the air. I don't know, I'm just speaking my mind.
Feelin Frisky Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 She eventually did reply and apologized for her cell phone being down. It was late so she asked for me to call her sometime. I called her today and after talking for about 10min about random things she mentioned about not wanting to lead me on in the wrong direction and she just wanted to be just friends. She mentioned that that could maybe turn into something more but that's what she wanted for now. I mentioned that it was a bit sad and that friends usually remain just that "friends" ... I am not sure why i didn't ask why or if there was even a purpose to ask that... Anyway though i would share... Pete In my experience there have been several secret agenda chicks. They probably let you pay for everything and then drop the hammer when you want to move forward. Pretend she has bad breath (check your own too, use a tongue scraper) then move on. I don't like being used. So syonara little queenie.
stillafool Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 I appreciate the compliment phil. I honestly can't help but feel a little weird and indefinite. Her responses weren't clear in my opinion and even cloudier given her emotional situation. I know you mentioned not to pressure her, but a part of me wants to know if I should move on and support her as a friend or try for something more while being mature about it. There is obviously some type of connection here and its painful for me as well...even more now that its all up in the air. I don't know, I'm just speaking my mind. What is her occupation? Maybe she is busy there and doesn't have time for a bf. I think you should move on and not support her as a friend or that is where you will forever be, in the "friendzone". I admire he honesty in not leading you on. I think you should let it be unless she contacts you for something more than friendship. If you become her friend you will be hurt when she starts dating another guy. Of course you won't be able to complain because she has already told you "I don't want to lead you on".
Author PetePete25 Posted May 7, 2010 Author Posted May 7, 2010 Its really interesting to see the various responses. I don't think any one of them is wrong or right.. It some ways I feel that I should wait and see what her tune is in a few days and be patient. I am not sure if that is being too nice but that how I would like to be treated ? The issue becomes who should make the first move if any, and what to say or do? ?
fishtaco Posted May 8, 2010 Posted May 8, 2010 Sorry bro, you got friendzoned. But she still wants you to be her substitute boyfriend, i.e. give her attention, emotional support and all that, because she's cute, and cute is valid currency to people that fall for it. It's up to you if you still want to be her big brother. Go date other women. Quantity defeats a lot of the game playing. As with all internet advice, use your own judgment, I'm sure many people would disagree with my post.
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