amerikajin Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 What have I learned about weddings? That they bring out the worst in some people.
GorillaTheater Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that alot of women spend considerably more time thinking about the wedding than they do the marriage. Always struck me as a bit bizarre. Though to be fair, I think alot of men, who consider weddings to be a nuisance at best, don't spend much time thinking about the marriage either. But what IS it about weddings?
amerikajin Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that alot of women spend considerably more time thinking about the wedding than they do the marriage. Always struck me as a bit bizarre. Though to be fair, I think alot of men, who consider weddings to be a nuisance at best, don't spend much time thinking about the marriage either. But what IS it about weddings? Yeah, this is pretty much my observation. Women get caught up in the big day; men are just trying to get through this sh*t without getting the middle of an inter-family brawl and a bank account that still has some money in it. I think families and friends take weddings too seriously. People seem to use weddings as the ultimate test of their own "value" as someone's relative or personal friend. By that I mean that, if it's not done right (i.e. the way said family member or friend wants it done) or worse, if they're somehow playing a diminished role in planning the wedding, then they see themselves as somehow of less worth. It's absurd.
Author GrnEyedGemini Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 You sound very bitter about the responses you received.... I didn't read any condescending comments at all! We were all trying to get you to see the positive side, as well as relate to how you're feeling. If you keep posting ungrateful messages like this, people will not to respond to your threads. Also, you give me the impression, that you need A LOT of attention to feel good about yourself. C'mon mama, you're a woman about to get married, not a pouting teenager. Where is there bitterness I must ask? I was not and am not bitter. Actually, I believe I said I appreciated the responses. And some were condescending, IMO. I'm allowed to express that, am I not...since it is MY original post. I'm not going to sit here and point out what I felt was condescending. I'm not pouting. And I don't need a lot of attention. Quite the opposite in my daily life, but you wouldn't know that since you don't know me. Why must you try to delve deeper into who I am than is necessary and throw around accusations that I'm ungrateful, pouting, and (reading between the lines) conceited/spoiled? You do not know me therefore you have no idea what you are talking about. Something was bothering me...I came here to talk to someone. A lot of the responses I received were condescending and kind of self-righteous. I felt like someone was scolding me for feeling let-down and for feeling I deserved to be treated better. How dare you? For the people that have actually been in my shoes and have posted helpful and insightful messages, the ones in which I was seeking, THANK YOU! I really appreciate your words of kindness and your encouragement. THAT is what a site like this should be full of.
Author GrnEyedGemini Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm under the impression that alot of women spend considerably more time thinking about the wedding than they do the marriage. Always struck me as a bit bizarre. Though to be fair, I think alot of men, who consider weddings to be a nuisance at best, don't spend much time thinking about the marriage either. But what IS it about weddings? Yeah, this is pretty much my observation. Women get caught up in the big day; men are just trying to get through this sh*t without getting the middle of an inter-family brawl and a bank account that still has some money in it. I think families and friends take weddings too seriously. People seem to use weddings as the ultimate test of their own "value" as someone's relative or personal friend. By that I mean that, if it's not done right (i.e. the way said family member or friend wants it done) or worse, if they're somehow playing a diminished role in planning the wedding, then they see themselves as somehow of less worth. It's absurd. If you don't understand it or thinks it absurd, then why are posting on my question?
amerikajin Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 If you don't understand it or thinks it absurd, then why are posting on my question? Because I'm commenting. No offense, Gemini, but I think you're being a wee bit hypersensitive here.
BlackLovely Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 Because I'm commenting. No offense, Gemini, but I think you're being a wee bit hypersensitive here. Geez, ya think? I'm also noticing a very combative attitude, like she's determined to fight.
porter218 Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 (edited) There are most likely a few reasons why you are not getting the support you though you would. Unless you are fresh out of college I am willing to bet most of your friends have got busy lives of their own by now. The weddings that have the big bridal parties and all of that support are women who just entered the real adult world and don't have busy careers, children, and over extended already. You already mentioned one of them has kids....as a mom I an tell you there is no way possible I could make the time for any of my friends wedding other then maybe attending it. This doesn't mean I don't love them and feel excited for them, I just can't take that time away from my kids. The other thing I would like to point out is..unless you and your friends and family live in Hawaii, this will be hard for them to even commit to attending at all. If your friends aren't even sure if they can make it to your wedding then they could feel awkward doing any 'bridal' stuff with you. Don't get me wrong, I love Island weddings but when planning one you have to be prepared for a small attendance. I got married in Jamaica and it was absolutely beautiful but I only had a handful of people there. I was OK with that because I knew how inconveinient that would be but I didn't care. It was MY wedding and I only cared if the groom showed up;). Have you asked your friends if they can even realistically make it to a Hawaii wedding? Edited October 3, 2010 by porter218
Recommended Posts