Livelovelearn Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 (edited) Hi Guys, So I am new to this however I have been reading posts on here for years and I found them to be useful. So recently I have discovered that my boyfriend (well ex now) of almost 3 years was cheating on my with another girl for 4 months. She messaged me and asked me what my relationship was with him and she then told me the details about their relationship after I told her I was with him for years. I called him up and yelled at him asking who she was and he got angry hung up the phone on me and never contacted me again. It is now 3 weeks and I dont understand why he hates me, why he isnt talking to me or anything. Id also like to say that the other girl said she was done with him and when she asked him about me he lied and said we dated couple months and she is no longer speaking with him. Im so hurt he was my first love, and now he is no longer talking to me not giving me answers i feel as if im his enemy, I cant cope with it. I did so much for him and overall our relationship has been good. We did break up last year but not over cheating, but he came back for me in the summer and things were great but still not the same as it was for the year and half that we dated before the break up cycle. Edited May 3, 2010 by Livelovelearn
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 simply looking for advice on how to move on or what to do, and if anyone has experienced something similar i feel so alone and hurt
JustJoe Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Triple L, face facts, your guy was a total asshat. He lied and cheated on you and he lied and cheated on the other girl. Get a new guy, there are plenty of them in Toronto.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 JustJoe thanks for the reply, i know it is hard to find a new guy as i have grown attached to him, i cant stop remember the good things about him but at times i try to remember all that his other woman told me and i get disgusted..yet i miss him..and i am honestly not attracted to men right now im not emotionally ready, yes there are alot of guys in toronto, alot of them who at my age unfortunately are just looking to move from girl to girl..but its true he is a asshat LOL
JustJoe Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Well LLL, If you're not ready for a relationship, just wait until the time is right. You've got plenty of time.:)
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 thanks.. yeah i am young and i know theres much more time for all of that stuff..i just wish he would talk to me, atleast have the respect to talk like mature adults he is turning 25 he should be mature by now...we've had alot of great times and now it seems as if he never wants me in his life and i know i will never randomly bump into him because he lives an hour away from me
JustJoe Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Considering how he has treated you, why would you want any contact with him, he's a scumbag.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 yeah i guess, but i guess its a low blow to my ego, i get cheated on, i did so much for him, i thought i was the best girlfriend but yet he is the one who left me and not contacting me, as if i was nothing to him, like i am a stranger...never knew the world was full of such people
JustJoe Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Don't sweat it, triple L. You're young, there are just as many good ones as bad, you just have to find them, good luck!!
Ilovecake Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 LLL you did nothing wrong. The reason he handled this the way he did is simply because he's a yellow bellied coward and a snake. Do not take this burden onto yourself. You caught him in a big lie and he didn't have the guts to face it so he hung up. When people cheat it usually doesn’t have a thing to do with their partner even though they will try to blame their partners for it out of fear. Be glad you are rid of him. Things would have only gotten worse if you didn’t find out. Do however get tested for STDs ASAP, you never know how many people he was sleeping with and you certainly do not know this girl.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 ILoveCake, thanks, i been telling myself its not my fault. He was dealing with so much he told me that he was turning 25 and he had nothing to show any accomplishments even though he finished college. I know that he reached a point where he was not happy with himself anymore. I guess it was a thrill or something and thats why he went out with her. I talked to her a couple of times and i see she has many problems of her own and suffers from low self esteem. I am definatelly getting checked this week because i talked to the girl and she said she slept with someone this week to make her feel better. I am not that type of person , i can tell she is sexually provocative. Sucks really does, dont know how lovers turn into strangers....
jenifer1972 Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 While he is really not worth the effort, I can totally understand that you would want some closure on this after three years. I don't think it would be unreasonable to confront him on what he did. He is a coward trying to 'slither away'. I personally wouldn't let him get away with it , but I have kicked some azz on a cheating BF in my past, and damn, did it feel good! May take awhile to set up the right situation, but it might present itself.
Author Livelovelearn Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 lol jennifer you are funny. i dont care to fight him plus he lives an hour away so i wont be seeing him randomly or anything. i am a small girl compared to him anyway he is a big guy. sadly i cant imagine hurting him either. as stupid as this sounds i still have love for him...*sigh* ...i guess my closure is that he is ungrateful for all i did and he does not want to talk to me or see me cause he does not care or feel bad
monkeymaid Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 i was cheated on LLL. the thing is, the more i distance myself, the more i dont hate her as much as before. ...i understand her and can let it go now because i know that she hes some serious issues. the only thing i did wrong was pick the wrong person. she has low self esteem, and needs attention for her own sense of belonging and worth. if shes not getting attention 24/7 then she felt like less of a person. ...it wasnt easy getting to this mindset. it has been a long and arduous journey, and i havent gotten over it as yet. ...actually, tears ran down my face yesterday morning on my way to work. the one thing i must reinforce in myself is that i can not and will not let her back into my heart.shes out. she is allowed to look, but may not take part in my life. i know im like that and have to watch myself. i forgive too easily and try to see the good especially when i want to see it even if its not real. the facts remain. there was cheating on her part. it was her fault, and her doing. shes done it in the past and will likely do it in the future.
EmperorR Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Raises hand, I've been cheated on by my ex fiancé we were together for 3 years and well it sucked it's been almost two years now and the pain is gone. It takes time, and closure comes from within, I gurantee you he will contact ou one day trust me they always do usually at a low point or no bf/gf in their life. I'm sure like all cheaters he"ll come fishing blaming it on you, and with lies that he changed. Go nc heal yourself and don't look back
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