borntorun Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 (edited) sorry ahead of time for the lengthy post, i dont blame you if you dont want to read through it. So i have been dating this girl for about 2 months. Im 26 , shes 27, we both still live at home (sad I know) . She is a friend of my cousins and I have known her for several years. We have a bit of history but have never actually really dated. She emailed me shortly before we started going out saying that she always liked me and she was wrong to date this other guy (which is a bit of the past history) and so on. I hadnt spoken to her for about a year since my cousin was not on speaking terms with her. We have been going out and things seemed to be going well. This weekend things started to get strange. we went out saturday and things went great. She went out with some friends from work that night and called me at 2 am to talk while she was driving her friends home. Long story short, she got mad at me because i went to the bookstore with a friend of mine who is female. I have known this person since high school and have worked with her and we are good friends but nothing more. I was upfront and told her who i went with and she basically hung up on me. I texted her and she kept texting me till about 4 am and the texts were none to friendly. I know she has been with some douchbags in the past and i didnt want her to get the wrong idea. She called me this am and apologized for being a "bitch" (her words) and we talked and sorted things out. Things were great again. I was going to stop over and see her (shes sick) but her mother was not to keen on the idea of me in bed with her and she wanted us to stay on the couch. Like I said she was sick and she didnt want to get out of bed. so i texted her back and told her that was fine, no big deal. We texted off and on the rest of the day, the usual miss you, wish you were here stuff. she texted me tonight to say goodnite, and i responded back. Then she asked why I thought we were together (apparently in one of my texts the night before when we were arguing i mentioned something about us being together). She said that basically we werent and that I never asked her . I told her I just assumed we were and told her I would like to be. She said "we will be sooner or later". The texting convo continued with her saying that she just wanted to take things slow and that she had been through a lot as far as guys go. I told her i understood and didnt mean to give her the wrong impression. I tried to relate that I know what its like to be mislead and lied to. To which she replied "if thats all that happened to you, your lucky". She then said that now that she had dug herself a hole she would go to bed. I reassured her that she hadnt dug a hole to which she replied "i havent told you my stories". I know its easy to look at this and think that the previous night had something to do with it and it may have but thats not it. I think her last part of the convo is what freaked me out. Im not sure what to think. I dont know if she feels like she needs to confess to me her previous experiences or what. Like I said i know she has been with some real losers. in short: 1. i have never had a girl tell me we had to talk about being together. Usually after the first few dates if things go well and you are at the point where you are kissing i thought it was usually assumed. 2. Im not sure why she brought up her past, it kind of weirded me out a little. 3. I do really like her and have always cared about her a great deal. I would never do anything to hurt her. Its just that she weirded me out and I dont know what to think about it. just lost and confused and its 1 am so i dont have anyone to talk to so im typing on a forum, lol. Edited May 3, 2010 by borntorun
D-Lish Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Wow, that's a bit too much drama for only being together for a short time. Perhaps there is a reason your cousin isn't on speaking terms with her. From what little you have said thus far, a picture is being painted of a selfish, ego-centric, attention seeker. Red flags.
Author borntorun Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 yea, i know it seems like it. My cousin is on speaking terms with her now. I knew getting in to this that she is a little nuts. I can understand why she was upset with my going to the bookstore. We dont have a ton in common (I know that sounds like another red flag but it kind of isnt) and she just was jealous of me hanging out with another female who I seem to have more in common with. She told me her ex did something similar to her. I know that if she told me that she was hanging out with some guy I would feel just as jealous. I know she has been really hurt in the past and hasnt had a good relationship. My cousin told me that she was having a really good time going out with me and that it was strange to be with somebody who actually picked her up, and treated her to dinner instead of her treating. She really isnt selffish, probably a little egocentric, and shes definetly not attention shy like me. She was a bit of a "wild child" which I know. Believe me if i wrote our past history i would need at least 5 pages worth. And I knew getting into this I didnt want to rush things because of that. I dont want to use the term damaged goods, but maybe she has just had some really bad expereinces. I just dont know why she would bring it up. I dont know if she is planning on telling me, I wouldnt ask, and quite frankly I dont know if I would want to know. She did tell me that she has a hard time trusting people and I can understand that. lol, I just dont know really what to think
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