witabix Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Hi all, Been a long time. I have been on a monumental roller coaster journey since I was last here, My partner had been going through breast cancer, op, treatment etc. When we split up. I couldn't handle the pressure and the negativity of it all. I was starting to get really bad pains in my chest. So we went our separate ways. I felt so guilty about it all, but convinced myself, the way we do, that it was the right thing. Met someone else who was going through a messy break up, hooked up. She got pregnant. That was cool. We talked and decided to make a go of it. Big age difference. Then a miscarriage at five months and we split up. Her ex had a few choice words to say to me in public. I beat him so bad he spent a while in hospital. She comes back two weeks later and tells me she is pregnant again. We talk even more and decide to try again. We try. Two days before the baby is born I have a heart attack. Followed by open chest surgery. We don't make it, and split up. A precis of the last eighteen months. I am so f**ked up now I don't know whether to laugh, cry, sleep or die. I am posting this because its interesting to read your own words. After the fact. Reading this I seem like a berserk fool. I don't care any more. It all seems useless. Just peace. Peace and quiet.
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