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Posted

Hello,

 

I recently lost my girlfriend of some time because of stupid mistakes I made and I'd love some advice to help me move on, or preferably prove to her that I deserve another chance.

 

In a nut shell, the entire time we dated I had a very close relationship with an ex-girlfriend. This was the only thing we ever really fought or argued about, besides her we got along wonderfully. The ex-gf had also been my best friend for years and it was difficult. We saw each other once a month, and it always became a big issue.

 

Instead of being upfront and honest, I told her I wanted a break to think out some things. During this time, I spent a lot of time with my ex-gf, we talked about getting back together, but I also spent a lot of time thinking about my current girlfriend. After about five days, and a lot of thinking. I wanted my girlfriend back. This time I was coming with a much reduced role of an ex-gf (maybe monthly digital contact after a 6 month break). I felt terrible because I had been deceptive, but felt amazing because I finally had the baggage out of my life.

 

I really love this girl, and I tried to get her to give me another chance. But she seems conflicted, and today we 'broke up.' She won't return any calls, texts or e-mails -- and I really want to discuss this issue further. I made a huge mistake, I've made some life changes for the better, and there's not a lot that I won't do for her. I will also be seeking out a therapist on Monday to help me deal with my communication issues.

 

Is there any advice you can give. I'm absolutely devastated. I can't eat, sleep, or concentrate. Please help.

 

Before anyone rips me for it, I know I'm the bad guy here. I made a huge mistake. I really am a good guy that's genuinely sorry and want her to give me another chance. She says the spark is dead, but I think if she spends time with me I can bring it back.

 

Thanks.

(Posted this in two places, I wasn't sure where it belonged.)

Posted

Oh, my.

 

I am afraid there is not much you can do in a situation like yours. Your GF suspected there was more to your relationship with your ex than you claimed, and she was right. Asking for a "break" while you decided which women you wanted--what were you thinking? How can a person hear something like that and not feel unwanted and devalued?

 

As you say, you made a mistake. You ex-GF (the one you wanted back) doesn't owe you a second chance just because you're sorry, or because you think it would this this time. Anything she gives you from now until the end of your lives would be a gift, and a generous one.

 

I think you need to resign yourself to the fact you lots this woman. Break off all contact. Leave her alone. And don't make the same mistake again.

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