Entitled Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 I just broke up with my girlfriend who I have been dating for more than 1 year, I'm 18 years and she was 17. Anyways, our relationship was going amazigly great, I honestly did not see anything wrong with it. Until April, I got a new job, full time insulator(taking a year off to pay off my car and save for school), so she said that she felt really depressed and sad, but she kept that from me, I didn't know, she blamed me for not being there and said she was so hurt and couldn't trust me anymore. She told me she met another guy, and that he was there for her. She also told me that whenever she kissed me she felt dead, and when she kissed this other guy she felt alive. When she told me that it hurt like hell, I couldn't believe what she had just told me. She went behind my back. She told me this the day before we broke up. Before that I pleaded with her to give me another chance and to work things out, I quit my job for her, I gave up so much to be with her. She said she couldn't. She asked to be friends and I agreed(I actually did not want to) just to see if that would work. We always saw eachother on fridays and saturdays, this friday we didnt, she told me that she went over to this "new" guys house, the one who was there for her supposedly. I was really hurt. We were supposed to hang out on saturday but she texts me on friday night and says that she cant see me anymore and to let her go. I snapped. I drove over to her house at 11:30 at night, droppped off everything she ever gave me, absoultely everything, I gave her back my promise ring which she gave me, and she gave mine back. I loved this girl with everything I had, she is my first real love and I'm just in so much pain right now. I've dreamed about her every single night, I think about her all day, I just cant get her out of my head. I gave so much for her, I was there for her whenever she needed me, I did everything I could. Her mother and father couldn't believe it either, the mom cried when she found out, and her brother was shocked. I don't know if its just that age or this guy changed her view on me. Maybe she was influenced by her stupid friends. To sum it up, she left me for a guy shes only known for a month. My family has told me that she doesnt deserve anything anymore, and that no matter how much it hurts to get over her. I want to get over her but I dont, I keep thinking that she might call me tomorrow or send me a msg saying that she wants to talk. Thats what I wait for everyday. Am I just torturing myself? Should I wait for her? or should I just get over her? Thank you.
IronMaiden Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 She said she felt 'dead inside' kissing you. Not very kind, but it does give you your answer. Something like this cannot be revived. There has to be an ember burning for things like this to turn around. If it is any consolation, I don't know of anyone still with their first love other than one couple and they don't like each other much after over 20 yrs together. Don't worry too much about why she left. The very young are very fickle and don't know what they want other than something new and exciting, which with time, will fade too. They just don't know it yet. First love is rarely a lasting love. The partners are too immature not to destroy it.
cp3_panda Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 To be honest with you.. i had the same experience.. except my relationship was 4 years.. It got to the point where this new guy was every bit a part of her life as I was.. but even more so. She never told me but her sister told me that she felt "weird" when i even touched her towards the end of our break up. All I can tell you is this.. figure out what you had done that u weren't there for her.. and move on. The reason I am telling you to look at why you weren't there for her is that so you can correct it for the next girl.. not this one. I know it sucks not having a chance to prove your point but with relationships and life... sometimes u dont get that second chance. Relationships are learning experiences. I know that someday you will see that as well. Now after 1 month of no contact, I feel a lot better about myself but I still have some residue feelings for her. I dont really miss HER or even the idea of her. I am just a little sad I never got a chance to show her that I have changed. To be honest, most likely she will never come back. But if she does, u want to show her that you are an improved and better person as well as boyfriend. Good luck
djentleman Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Improve for yourself, and that's it. Learn from the experience, but don't overanalyze it as if it were all on you. Please, do not do this. Implement NC and your true self will bloom.
2yearsNC Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 (edited) dont feel to bad. this happen to me as well. i just wrote it off as my ex being a whore. in the end she was using me for money. i ended up breaking up with her, throwing her out, she cried and called me for about a week everyday but it was because of guilt. i think she wanted to try again, but in the end she didn't put any effort, probably because she already had someone, and i was just hot & cold toward her until her true colors came out and I realized she was just using me and thought I was a fool. She then told me to **** off and i cursed her out and she called my cousin two weeks later saying i was harassing her and emailing her and texting her and that she's in a serious relationship, odd considering how she told my mom it was nothing serious, she was lieing to everyone, i don't even know why. i fired her and told her to **** off. haven't heard from her in 2 years. she tried to talk to me on facebook in jan 2010 but i just blocked her. in your case, your girl 1000000% does not love you. anything you do from this point on will just damage the memories and hurt you even more. if you don't believe me, just read the posts on this forum. everything you thought you had is now dead, she's the same person but just not to you, someone else has her heart and she's also sucking someone else cock. your best bet is to go 100% NC and avoid her like the plague.\ mind you, i would of killed if she asked me too and as my brother told me "she hasn't been thrown out a car, she hasn't been beat up, she doesn't know what a good man is" aka she has no life experience and is immature and finding her way. its to late though, she burned the bridge once she let the other man fawk her while with you, she probably has been having sex with him for months, just think about if your sex with her dried up toward the end and if the answer is YES, then she was fawking him for months. and about the touching thing, thats horse ****, girls like to get fawked just like everyone else, don't believe her or try to understand whats going on in her mind and right now, she's probably just infacutated with the new guy and SOOOOO in love with him so she looks down upon you. girls like that are not good girls, girls who cheat, are not worthy, be happy my friend. she's a slut bag and i gurantee she will cheat on her husband or whomever she marries. just take what she says with a grain of salt and try and think of what you could of done different to keep the relationship fresh and apply it to your next girlfriend. if you were good to her, she'll regret it in the future, couple years down the line and as someone else told me "She doesn't remember you right now, but men won't always be there for her and when that times comes, its going to be up to YOU to decide if you want her back or not" eitherway, pretend shes dead, dont let her get to you, keep walking forward Edited May 3, 2010 by 2yearsNC
Author Entitled Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 ^ Damn man, you're right. There will be a girl out there for me who will be treat me with respect and love me more than she ever could. She wasn't the one. Your post really cheered me up and made me realize the real person she really is. No more tears for her, no more sleepless nights, no more thinking about her, she can go to hell for all I care. Thank you.
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