hopeforthebest Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 First Post!! So I've been thinking about this for a lil while now. I moved into a 2-bedroom apt with one of my good friends. She was dating this guy, who also was one of my friends. I've known my roommate for 5 years now, all of which she was dating this guy. They broke up and it feels like they are over for sure (multiple times like this before but ended up back together). Well its only been a few weeks now. But for the last year or more I've had the biggest crush on her. Once we moved in with each the crush turned into more. She is absolutely wonderful, everything she does makes me smile and I can't get her out of my mind. We've always been close and have had zero problems with each other since with been roommates. Now I want to have a talk with her, so I can kind of clear the air and talk about my feelings toward her. Hopefully the same feelings she may have for me. I'd like to hear what you think about my situation and what would you do? Maybe ideas for sparking up the conversation?? Thanks!!
Pfiend101 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 My thoughts are this. Dont **** where you eat. If it goes sour with the convo expect it to be awkward and you will no longer want to live with her.
Rorschach Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 If you want to date her move out first, otherwise you are so asking for trouble.
D-Lish Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Don't date a roomie. I dated a room mate in university, and it went sour and things got incredibly awkward after.
Green Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Dude I think you kind of weaseled your way in by playing the friend card, you should have been more direct. With that said, you have to make a move if only so you don't regret it the rest of your life. Heres what I suggest, don't tell her how you feel, show her with a kiss. If your lucky you can get her out of her clothes and admire the body thats been off limit to you for years. Then you can fill her with your love! Good luck
sagetalk Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 First Post!! Now I want to have a talk with her, so I can kind of clear the air and talk about my feelings toward her. Hopefully the same feelings she may have for me. I'd like to hear what you think about my situation and what would you do? Maybe ideas for sparking up the conversation?? Thanks!! Here's an idea, don't do that. 1. You're gonna be a rebound guy which would make you a loser 2. If you tell her about feelings that she hasn't expressed towards you, you're headed right into the friends zone. 3. If it goes south you have to live with her (yikes!). If you want to take this risk (and it's a big one), don't have a "feelings talk" with her. Show her how you feel by making a small move, if she backs away, then you know. Really, I would avoid this altogether, there so much that could go wrong.
ADF Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Ugh. What a minefield of potential problems. I am betting your female friend isn't experienced enough to know what all men know--i.e. that men almost NEVER go out of their way to befriend women unless they have the hots for them. It sounds like her ex didn't suspect anything either, which kind of surprises me. Anway, if your desire is to get together with this woman, then you need to move out. She is not going to go from five years of platonic friendship to living with you as BF/GF. Also consider that if her ex was honestly cluelss about your attraction for this woman, he no longer would be after you started dating. Furthermore, if he has any common sense, he'll know you were scoping her out before the breakup. You may well lose his friendship over this thing.
Author hopeforthebest Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 thanks for what you guys think. the thing that makes me want to make a move even more is the way we are together. even before she broke up with her BF we would do things together all the time just us and their would be times where we were flirting, kinda of acting like a couple. that being said. I dont want to be the rebound guy. Im willing to give her the time she needs but I just want to be there for her.
Green Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 thanks for what you guys think. the thing that makes me want to make a move even more is the way we are together. even before she broke up with her BF we would do things together all the time just us and their would be times where we were flirting, kinda of acting like a couple. that being said. I dont want to be the rebound guy. Im willing to give her the time she needs but I just want to be there for her. Rebound guy is a popularized made up term. You have to strike when the iron is hot.
Recommended Posts