edith Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 So I will be meeting with my lawyer this Friday and can't wait to show him all the emails. I do plan on going ahead with the confrontation if I'm instructed to do so. I just saw more emails and they seem to get "deeper" every time. Again, they were talking about the kids and at one point my husband writes "I don't know if you guys are planning on having any more kids?" The fact that he was feeling too insecure to even ask it as a direct question (VERY unlike him) shows me that he cares about the answer. And, as most of you have said, he IS emotionally involved. Why else would a man who's only in it for the sex ask a woman about her future plans when it comes to children? He was probably also trying to see where her marriage stands. As usual, this is all speculation. I guess I just needed to vent.
bananalaffytaffy Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I think your assessment is correct. I hope you have a productive meeting with your attorney.
califnan Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 So I will be meeting with my lawyer this Friday and can't wait to show him all the emails. I do plan on going ahead with the confrontation if I'm instructed to do so. I just saw more emails and they seem to get "deeper" every time. Again, they were talking about the kids and at one point my husband writes "I don't know if you guys are planning on having any more kids?" The fact that he was feeling too insecure to even ask it as a direct question (VERY unlike him) shows me that he cares about the answer. And, as most of you have said, he IS emotionally involved. Why else would a man who's only in it for the sex ask a woman about her future plans when it comes to children? He was probably also trying to see where her marriage stands. As usual, this is all speculation. I guess I just needed to vent. ------------------- Hopefully, your attorney will not go through all of the emails. Their hourly rate is ridiculous enough.. I think a counselor would be interested in the emails more than an attorney? .. Primarily I would think the attorney's responsibility is in knowing for certain that you feel you must proceed with the divorce - and then the division of the community property, etc. As for your husband expressing an interest in her thoughts on having more children with her husband: Yes these affairs are definitely more emotional than being with a prostitute.. and could develop into even more - just because she is interested in him, if for no other reason..
califnan Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Edith, Read Michelle2010 on the MM/MW Thread.. It is the same period of time - or after the first sexual encounter in these affairs, whereas the MM becomes busy at work, after they have had their first sexual encounter (yes oral is still emotional - don't listen to Bill Clinton) .. It appears that this becoming "busy" after the first occurance may be the time of reassessing or guilt, on the MM's part - and should be the time of (hopeful) intervention?
lilagirl Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Oh Edith... I feel so sad for you. You are dying a low death. Dòn`t give up on ur H. There is little there for him to hold on to w his OW... Confront him. Tell him everything that you have seen, and feel. Tell him about your heartache... It feels as though there is something missing from your story. Are you guys intimatE regularly? How old are your children? How long have you been married? Do you have other issues as a couple? If you were to work it out... what does that mean to you... Do you want your H back... and in what way? Are you willing to put in the work? Do you ever spend time with your H? I am sorry for your pain. i am glad you post here... You deserve happiness you know... real happiness...I would like to know about YOU and your relationship...
lkjh Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 judging from your other threads it seems like you were in a little bit of denial. Good to see that you are going forward with the confrontation. Im not sure if your marriage will end in divorce but it will put an end to the affair. Whatever you do make sure that you expose this to her H as well. They will try to stop you by saying things like don't destroy her family and crap like that. But the truth is their affair is what is hurting the two families. Copy all of the emails, print them off and give both a paper and digital copy to her H. Im sorry you are going through this. Good luck
stillafool Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Edith, have you thought about getting some independent counseling for yourself to help you sort this out?
Owl Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Or considered that you've got enough "evidence" to accomplish your goals, and any further reading of this stuff is just going to continue to erode your own self-confidence? You know what you need to know...there's no value in continuing to snoop. Right now, it's more detrimental to you than it is helpful. You know what you need to do from here, right?
SouthernSunshine Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Oh wow. You're hurting now, but you'll be the last one standing. They are SO screwed!
ConflictedGuy27 Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Or considered that you've got enough "evidence" to accomplish your goals, and any further reading of this stuff is just going to continue to erode your own self-confidence? You know what you need to know...there's no value in continuing to snoop. Right now, it's more detrimental to you than it is helpful. You know what you need to do from here, right? Owl is 100% correct, Edith. I followed your other posts and you've monitored the affair WAY more than required to confirm it. I said in the last thread and I'll say it again (because it's worth repeating) - YOU pay an emotional price EVERY time you spy on them. This is a huge problem, as Owl also mentions, because what little you learn changes NOTHING. In your situation, Edith, you need to stop the spying and seriously commit to ending your M, legally. I speak from experience Edith. I still have access to my ex's email & Facebook accounts (if they're still the same), but I'll tell you something: nothing beneficial to me can be gained by looking there; so I don't. Please consider not spying anymore.
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