khria Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 long story short: I've been seeing someone for a little over 2 months. We hang out once a week (dinner dates, movies, etc), email everyday, and talk on the phone roughly once or twice a week (usually pretty long conversations each time, and usually very meaningful, too) with some texting in between. We're both busy people, so hanging out more than once a week is a bit of a struggle for both of us. Still, compared to friends' stories about their SO calling/visiting them every day or something, this pace seems a little....sparse to me? I'm afraid that having a 'once a week boyfriend' is going to turn into a 'booty call' arrangement... and I'm not looking for that at all. So, what's the difference between being 'busy' and just making yourself unavailable/not putting in the effort? Do people think that there's a standard amount of visits/phonecalls/etc. that you should expect from a guy once you're in a relationship? Am I being paranoid? Thanks
Mimi87 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Hi, I'm having the exact same issues. i too have been seeing a guy for 2 months, we only see each other once a week (sometimes less!) and not really any long phonecalls inbetween, just a couple texts here and there (mainly initiated by me!). n i too am getting a lil paranoid of wether it is normal or not, i have an older sister who says that it should definitely be more a more than once a wk thing, and that he should want to talk (or txt) everyday... im stuck just like you! :/
Ruby Slippers Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 In this situation, I would keep other men in my radar. He's keeping you on a slow simmer -- I'd do the same with him.
spookie Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I dunno, a week goes by pretty fast for me. Even without seeing my SO, I usually find myself strapped for time. Especially given that you guys talk on the phone, I'd say that pace is pretty normal for busy people.
Author khria Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 Hi, I'm having the exact same issues. i too have been seeing a guy for 2 months, we only see each other once a week (sometimes less!) and not really any long phonecalls inbetween, just a couple texts here and there (mainly initiated by me!). n i too am getting a lil paranoid of wether it is normal or not, i have an older sister who says that it should definitely be more a more than once a wk thing, and that he should want to talk (or txt) everyday... im stuck just like you! :/ hey Mimi87, well, one question I'd ask in your case is if the guy wants to make the relationship official (as in bf-gf)? Has he mentioned exclusivity, or taking things to a monogamous relationship yet? In my case, he has clearly told me that he wants to make it official, has introduced me to fam + friends, etc., and I'm the one who said that I needed time to decide. I think it really is partly due to our busy-ness, but I wanted to get people's ideas on this before jumping to conclusions... I also agree with your sis that it should be more than once a week, tho. And yeah, he should def. be taking more initiative with making contact, I think. It sounds like you are still making decisions about each other?..
yah Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 SO and I usually spend one evening midweek and almost the entire weekend together. This has been our "schedule" since the 1st or 2nd month of going out, I believe. If it bothers you that its so sparse, why not suggest hanging out sometime midweek?
Curious-One Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 There is nothing more annoying or bigger turnoff than a needy girl who wants you to call her every singe day and hangout atleast 3-4 times a week. Usually the more the girl wants you to call her the less you will want to call her.
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