VeloFellow Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 My ex and I had a dramatic breakup, there were some reasons and outside factors that contributed, but in the end I was pretty much a dick to her and didn't listen to her. I could've handled it better, even though I also feel it wasn't entirely my fault. Anyway. That's the history. The night we broke up she was driving to another city to move for a job she couldn't get where I live. She had finished school and was basically returning home. Things were really good with us, and despite some bumps and fights here and there, we had planned to do long distance. Until I dumped her the night she was leaving. I regretted it instantly, but she wouldn't come back to talk. Just drove off to her new life. We had some tentative contact the day after, things were emotional and she told me she loved me. Then it went dead quiet. I sent her a letter telling her how I felt and wanting to start fresh and build it up again, a new beginning. She said she would see me and we kept in touch a bit until I went over to her her new city. We spent 6 days together. No intimacy, no sleeping together. She was very adamant about that stuff. But she still spent every day with me. There was some weirdness, but in the end it was pretty positive. She kissed me on the cheek at the airport and then stood there watching me in line for about 5 extra minutes. Finally she left and we exchanged some texts. Right afterwards she was telling me that she wished I didnt have to go, was trying to get me to change my flights to later dates, talking about things we could be doing if I was still in town, positive stuff like that. Over the week since I visited we've texted every day. Just talking about our days and joking around, being supportive. Pretty positive stuff. On a couple of occassions she was pretty flirty with me and kept asking when I would be coming back. But its pretty mixed signals. I could probably find work in her city, and even have an interview there, but she has been pretty clear in saying 'dont move here for me, that's too much pressure, I don't know yet, I thought I'd never speak to you again and its too soon.' Fair enough, I can understand that. Yet she would still encourage me about the positive things in her city, and ask me when I was coming out again. When I got the interview I told her. She said 'Holy crap, my heart is racing and my hands are shaking as I write this. I guess I'm still into you!' Which was awesome to her! She wanted me to go out that weekend to see her, but it was too expensive so I couldn't. And when I told her that, a day later or so, she said she was really sad and was worried that another week would make me forget all about her and that she'd never see me again...so, obviously, if she's telling me all that...she's....into me and worried about losing me, right? Like, you wouldn't say that to an ex you just wanted to stay friends with this soon, would you!? So she's sent me some signals that's there's a chance, but also is quite 'friendly' with the way she chats, saying stuff like 'always nice to chat with you', and also wrote 'what I feel for you is independent of love or lust or any of that, I basically really like you as a person. All the rest is gravy.' Its a bit hot and cold and I can't decipher it. Do I put her on the spot? So I play it cool till I can get out there again and then just have fun and let it unfold naturally? She's still prodding me about the job, recently told me 'hope you dont get cold feet about crazy life changes. I think it pays to just roll with it!' So if I do well in the interview, I might have an offer in her city. I've got other friends there, its a cool place to live, a good chance to experience something new, but I'm so worried about this girl and how that will place out. I'm afraid to move there and have it fall apart and then I'm in her city, attending events she's gonna be at, and kind of alone, cut off my old friends. It's a tough thing. She won't give me any assurance that things could work out, but hints at how much she likes me and all that stuff. I don't think I'll get any more clarity unless I'm out there where she is. I'm going to go for two days next week - what's my strategy? Light and fun? Demand a clear answer? Part of me feels I need to be patient and just let the fact that we get along really, really well speak for itself. Let nature run its course. Any thoughts or feedback would be really appreciated, this is a HUGE life change for me. There's a good chance I get the job offer, I'm more than qualified for it - is that fate? It's hard to get a good job in that city. Thanks lots for reading, my fellow anxious love veterans!
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