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Is he just not that into me?


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Posted

First date, a setup. We meet at a winery, take the tour, and then have a nice dinner at the restaurant there.

This takes 3 hours total.

So I feel I want to sit outside a bit after all the wine we had with dinner (split a bottle of pinot).

OK, I thought we hit it off. He paid for a complete dinner (not cheap) with appetizers and a bottle of wine.

So..we are sitting on a bench outside looking at the view in front of the winery...breathtaking....and have a nice conversation.

After 30 minutes I am getting cold and say "well,I have to call it a night" (it's about 8:30 and I have to drive an hour home, and he about the same).

He walks me to my car and asks for a hug, but doesn't go for a kiss. I get home, and he has texted me that he had a great time meeting me and wants to see me again.

Since he didn't go for a kiss, however, when he had 2 perfect opportunities (on the bench outside the restaurant, no one was around) and in front of my car....doesn't that mean he's just not that into me?

I am 42 and he is 44, if that makes a difference. At his age, wouldn't he feel it and know to go for a kiss if he's interested?

Please be honest, even if it's brutal.

Thanks.

Posted

No, I don't think that means he's not into you. It sounds like it was a good date. Maybe he is a little shy or he just wants to get to know you a bit before he gets even a little bit physical. Asking for a hug suggests shy. I say give him a few more dates. :)

Posted

No, it doesn't mean that at all.

Maybe he's just more interested in getting to know you than getting in you pants.

 

Wait for him to call and set up another date. Just the fact that he texted you when he got home is a very positive sign.

Posted (edited)

I don't get why people expect kiss on the first date.

 

It feels awkward kiss on the first date when you don't know someone well enough. This man might be this type of man, and this type of person actually do exist !

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Edited by Lovelybird
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Posted

Thanks, ladies. Good insight. I'll keep you all updated. :)

Posted
So I feel I want to sit outside a bit after all the wine we had with dinner (split a bottle of pinot).

OK, I thought we hit it off. He paid for a complete dinner (not cheap) with appetizers and a bottle of wine.

So..we are sitting on a bench outside looking at the view in front of the winery...breathtaking....and have a nice conversation.

After 30 minutes I ... say "well,I have to call it a night"

 

I suspect that he thought you weren't into him!

 

In his place, I would have thought that you were cutting the night short after all the fun was over. It sounds like he dropped some serious cash and thirty minutes after the bill was settled, you said 'well, good night gotta run'.

 

I understand why you did - it is perfectly understandable, but he might not. Not kissing you is not a sign that he isn't into you given the context of the entire evening. He also wasn't the one to end the date. I suspect that he was trying to make a good first impression rather than what he might have thought was a 'too forward' one, particularly since he doesn't know you that well. I know I wouldn't kiss a stranger after a night of 'getting to know you'.

 

I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I think he is pretty into you and at this point wonders if you are into him.

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