TouchedByViolet Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I have recently found myself very envious of people in the world who have a love of life. These people have such a passion and excitement in life while I struggle to maintain enough drive to get through the day. When I think about my own life the last thing that comes to mind is any sort of love in being alive. Sure there are people in my life, like my dad and close friends, who I love very much. They bring something special and good to my life. Unfortunately, as a whole though life is full of so much difficulty and confusion I can hardly look at it and be happy. I guess my question is: How can a person develope a love of life?
Green Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 So you want to love life? I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know I read your post and if your goal is to love life, I to want to go through life loving it. I'm going to try living in the moment more and doing things instead of putting them off... maybe it could work for both of us?
Belle Vie Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Unfortunately, I've come to believe that some lucky people are simply born with that "love of life" you describe. I think it's part genetics--brain chemistry. From your post, it sounds as if you may have a brain chemistry that makes you tend toward depression. You and I may have that in common. Anyway, I find that I'm happiest after I DO something, even if it didn't want to do it before I started. It might be going for a run or writing a story or taking a class or doing some work I'd been putting off. Accomplishing something. I'm never more content than after I've actively pursued a goal. But here's the thing. I never WANT to do it going in. I'm always feeling down or tired, and it's very easy for me to just say "the heck with it," and do nothing. I have to make myself do it, by telling myself that I'll feel so much better AFTER it's done. And I always do, so it becomes that much easier the next time to make myself go for that run or finish that project. I also know that if I DON'T do it, I'll just feel worse. So, that's how I develop, if not a love of life, then a love of these moments in life when I get active and start living. But you've got to do the things that you see other people doing that you wish you felt like doing (does that make sense?). Live life first...love it second. Don't wait until you love it first. For me, at least, that doesn't happen.
Author TouchedByViolet Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 So you want to love life? I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know I read your post and if your goal is to love life, I to want to go through life loving it. I'm going to try living in the moment more and doing things instead of putting them off... maybe it could work for both of us? Hmm... I kind of get what you are saying. I try to live in the moment best I can but sometimes the moment sucks. Unfortunately, I've come to believe that some lucky people are simply born with that "love of life" you describe. I think it's part genetics--brain chemistry. From your post, it sounds as if you may have a brain chemistry that makes you tend toward depression. You and I may have that in common. Anyway, I find that I'm happiest after I DO something, even if it didn't want to do it before I started. It might be going for a run or writing a story or taking a class or doing some work I'd been putting off. Accomplishing something. I'm never more content than after I've actively pursued a goal. But here's the thing. I never WANT to do it going in. I'm always feeling down or tired, and it's very easy for me to just say "the heck with it," and do nothing. I have to make myself do it, by telling myself that I'll feel so much better AFTER it's done. And I always do, so it becomes that much easier the next time to make myself go for that run or finish that project. I also know that if I DON'T do it, I'll just feel worse. So, that's how I develop, if not a love of life, then a love of these moments in life when I get active and start living. But you've got to do the things that you see other people doing that you wish you felt like doing (does that make sense?). Live life first...love it second. Don't wait until you love it first. For me, at least, that doesn't happen. Your post is spot on. I have to force myself to get up and do things regularly. There is no inherent feeling to do so. I have to push myself to start and sometimes finish tasks in order to get the feeling of accomplishment. Your advice about living life first and letting the love come second naturally is excellent. It is what i sometimes try to do but I never really thought about it until I read your post. When things are going well it is much easier to stay with the game plan of being active, working on things, and getting things done, but set backs can easily put me in a slump where I don't want to do anything. I really struggle on maintaining an attitude of staying active. I was hoping there is a love of life that people tap into to stay motivated about life but sounds like that isn't the case. As you have said, when i see something i want to do I should just go for it, and that will make me happy.
Belle Vie Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 (edited) ...when i see something i want to do I should just go for it, and that will make me happy. That's exactly what you need to do. Also, try not to compare yourself and your own relationship with life with others. Again, I say this from my own experience--I've found that if I see others as "happy" and myself as "sad," it only feeds my sense of isolation and difference. Instead, I accept that my brain sees and experiences the world differently than theirs--that's all. Like some people are diabetic and others are not. This is my "illness," and I'm treating it with activity, just as a diabetic must eat carefully and take insulin. I am simply not a joyful person, by nature. However, I am kind, caring, intelligent, humorous, and wickedly sarcastic. I'm artistic, I'm a good writer. I focus on what I AM, not on what I am NOT. My moods also should not dictate whether or not I live the life I want. I'm not saying that's an EASY mindset to adopt! I'm just saying it's necessary to TRY and work at adopting it every day. And always realize that when you are in one of your slumps and feel the most inactive--that's when you need activity the most. Remind yourself of that each time you hit one of those low points. It helps to have this outside perception at the ready at all times, so that you have more control over your lowest moods and can bring yourself back to a state of contentment through action. That's one of the reasons, in fact, that I chose my screen name here: "Belle vie" = "beautiful life." It's an action I've taken to remind myself that it's about living for me. I have to keep making those choices to live, rather than isolate myself in sadness. Edited May 2, 2010 by Belle Vie
dazzle22 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I agree with the others that some of us seem to struggle more than others with feeling happy and loving life at times, perhaps a genetic predisposition. Sigh! I also believe that if you are very intelligent and a deep thinker, you tend to see a lot of the dark side of things that other people gloss over or just don't spend time thinking about. A curse of intelligence I think. I think it is easier to go through life like Forrest Gump! I am reading a book right now, called "Choosing Happiness" by Stephanie Dowrick which is absolutely excellent. In face, I don't know how one woman can pack so many great things in one book. You have to go through the chapters slowly to catch all the nuggets. I also think you absolutely HAVE to get your body moving and keep the endorphins up, which is counterintuitive and difficult when you feel blue. Cardio exercise and yoga are musts for a good mental place.
Author TouchedByViolet Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 That's exactly what you need to do. Also, try not to compare yourself and your own relationship with life with others. Again, I say this from my own experience--I've found that if I see others as "happy" and myself as "sad," it only feeds my sense of isolation and difference. Instead, I accept that my brain sees and experiences the world differently than theirs--that's all. Like some people are diabetic and others are not. This is my "illness," and I'm treating it with activity, just as a diabetic must eat carefully and take insulin. I am simply not a joyful person, by nature. However, I am kind, caring, intelligent, humorous, and wickedly sarcastic. I'm artistic, I'm a good writer. I focus on what I AM, not on what I am NOT. My moods also should not dictate whether or not I live the life I want. I'm not saying that's an EASY mindset to adopt! I'm just saying it's necessary to TRY and work at adopting it every day. And always realize that when you are in one of your slumps and feel the most inactive--that's when you need activity the most. Remind yourself of that each time you hit one of those low points. It helps to have this outside perception at the ready at all times, so that you have more control over your lowest moods and can bring yourself back to a state of contentment through action. That's one of the reasons, in fact, that I chose my screen name here: "Belle vie" = "beautiful life." It's an action I've taken to remind myself that it's about living for me. I have to keep making those choices to live, rather than isolate myself in sadness. Great post. The part I liked most was the emphasis on the importance of focusing on my own strengths and abilities and not getting caught up on my weaknesses. Everyone is different and that is what makes life interesting. No reason to focus on other peoples lives and assume they got it easy. I will use this post to gain perspective when I get in a slump. Thanks a lot! I agree with the others that some of us seem to struggle more than others with feeling happy and loving life at times, perhaps a genetic predisposition. Sigh! I also believe that if you are very intelligent and a deep thinker, you tend to see a lot of the dark side of things that other people gloss over or just don't spend time thinking about. A curse of intelligence I think. I think it is easier to go through life like Forrest Gump! I am reading a book right now, called "Choosing Happiness" by Stephanie Dowrick which is absolutely excellent. In face, I don't know how one woman can pack so many great things in one book. You have to go through the chapters slowly to catch all the nuggets. I also think you absolutely HAVE to get your body moving and keep the endorphins up, which is counterintuitive and difficult when you feel blue. Cardio exercise and yoga are musts for a good mental place. Thinking too much can definitely be negative. I try my best to control how much I think about the parts of life that make me feel upset, depressed, or angry. There is no benefit of negative feelings if you can't do anything to change them. Luckily, I work out 4 times a week and have a diverse schedule that keeps me energized about working out. The power of exercise is amazing. I'll take a look at that book. Thanks!
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