wingman2 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 As some of you now know my ex contacted me 2 weeks ago after more than 3 weeks of NC asking whether or not I've been thinking about her as often as she has and that some things have been bugging her really bad. We communicated throughout that week, but responding to her messages the next day or several hours later. The more I put her off the more eager and impatient she became to speak with me. Then Friday the 23rd we finally had our first conversation since the middle of March. If you've read my earlier thread that conversation didn't go as expected and felt awkward and tense but overall I guess I can't say it was bad, felt awful at the time but just not up to my expectations. Things felt as if they were going good, as if I was on the right track towards getting her back however that was the last time we have communicated and since she has lost interest in me neither of us have contacted eachother since then. In my last thread I was advised that I continue on with NC which I have been doing and kept it up for little over a week now but as more time goes by the more my head starts to spin and the more eager I get to contact her. Today happens to be one of my better days where I feel more calm.. possibly cause the sun was out but for the past week, specially yesterday I was just feeling miserable. There's nothing more confusing than having someone show so much interest towards you and then before you know it you like don't exist. It doesn't make sense. I'm sure there probably are more confusing things in this world but this feeling has to be one of the most confusing. I've been checking her facebook/myspace although I don't have her as a friend I check and see if she has signed on or not. For one week she wasn't on then she was on for some time yesterday. What happened to messaging me? I know she's busy with some things but obviously she had time the other day and if she had time last week to be texting me every hour I'm sure she has time to say something now. I know I shouldn't be checking her profiles, I need to stop, specially before I see something that I'll hate. The reason I want to contact her isn't for friendship perposes or reconciliation. Although I want to head into that direction the main reason is to keep my head from spinning, I want to feel at ease and I won't be until I know what her intentions were for wanting to talk with me last week and what she got out of our conversation or was hoping to get out of it. That's all I want to ask her, is what intention she had for wanting to talk with me and what she had gotten out of our conversation or what she was hoping to get out of it. I know it may be a bit too much of a personal question but right now I can't figure out if it was because she needed to clear herself of her guilt, because she needed an ego boost, because she really missed me and wanted to start communicating or develop a relationship again but didn't because she either a. felt that things seemed different and there wasn't anything to salvage. b. thought that nothing has changed and reminded her of the reasons why she broke up with me. c. Saw no effort on my part for wanting to reconcile and figured I had just move on and am not interested in getting back with her. You see there are many reasons as to why she may have been so interested in wanting to talk with me so bad. It's not every breakup where the dumper pops out of no where and admits he/she loves you and misses you to death and can't handle not being in some form of contact with you. At least not in most of the cases I've seen. I felt like I was really lucky to be in that position considering I love this girl and would love to have something with her again. She didn't say she loved me but she did say she missed me incredibly and that she couldn't handle it, also admitted that she's been thinking about me constantly and is still going through a painful time. Now none of that is going on, no sign of existence from her whatsoever aside from her logging onto her social networking profiles the other day. What should I do? I feel like I need to know the reason's behind wanting to communicate with me so bad but I feel like the only way I'll know the answer would be to ask her, herself. All I want to do is write a short text message saying "Hey, I've just been curious to know what your intentions were for wanting to talk last week and what you got out of our conversation Friday or what you were hoping to get out of it?" after that I won't write anything else but for all I know perhaps I do have this situation in my hands. She could very well have wanted to see if I was in anyway interested in reconciling and will be willing to work something out if she knew I was interested but I'm not sure. That could just be my hopes talking. Either way I just want to find out what intention she had for wanting to speak with me. I just don't know if it'll be the right thing to do. Whether or not I should give it a little bit more time, or just not write anything at all and just focus on me and see if she comes around again, or if I should send something but ask a little differently, in a manner where she won't feel like I'm attacking her or looking desparate. My sister explained to me that she believes if I ask her this she might see it as me getting my hopes up when she contacted me, therefore she won't have anymore interest to contact me if she believes I get that kind of reaction from her. I explained it in a bit more detail to her though and now she thinks it'll be fine to ask but to give myself another week if she doesn't say a thing. Perhaps I did get my hopes up somewhat considering she admitted to missing me and was thinking about me, but it's honestly because I want to know the answer so that way I won't waste more time trying to figure it out. If it turns out to be that she just wanted to give herself an ego boost or clear herself of her guilt then I'll just go back into NC and not worry about it. In fact I'll go into NC again regardless until I feel like it's right to say something else if she doesn't come around. What would be the chances of her contacting me again if I just stick to NC? She's already contacted me before admitting she missed me to death so what are most likely the chances she will again sometime soon? I'd rather she contact me than me contacting her but I just don't even know if she'll ever say anything to me again.
northstar1 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Dude, I know you are in pain and hurting. But you have to leave it. Who the heck knows why she contacted you, could be a million reasons. She was curious what you were doing, she wanted some attention an dknow you were still there. But if she was/is interested in a 2nd chance, she'd be contact you and telling you this. the fact she's not contacted you since you saw her is a sign she's not ready or willing to come back. If you reach out again and she ignores you, you will feel a lot worse.
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