alg24 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Hey everyone! I'm actually having a pretty decent day (MM and I are NOT together and are NOT in communication) Today I was thinking though... What was the attraction and what pulled you in... For me, yes, I knew he was married. But I was young and stupid. It was easier for me because I was single. I went home to a roommate or empty apartment... I did have the guilt though... At first I did not view him as a liar.. I knew he was a cheater and regardless would always be a cheater. (I NEVER thought the W was in the wrong-- you know how some OW say the W does not put out enough or dress the part.... BULL! Trust me, it usually has NOTHING to do with the W) Through ALLL my MM drama I kept trying to see the good in him. I could never accept the fact he was a pathetic human. A liar, a cheater, and just a BAD person. A BAD guy. Yes, in my A there was some pushing and mental abuse. BUT even the nicest of MM are in my opinion are not morally good people if engaging in an A (does NOT matter the "situation") The W and I had communication and I was like WOW, she was the nicest, most diplomatic LADY in the world. I felt such disgrace, pain, and horrible for my part in it. So what pulled YOU into the A? What made you stay? And how did you realize it needed to be done? Yes, this has been discussed many times. But when was the reality check? The wake up call.. Or did it work out?? Finally (Yes its over- but of course hurts!) I just started seeing for ME I was trying to fix this person. I was trying to make my MM morally a good man. Impossible. And morally I was doing things I never thought I would do... And I was hurting the people around me that truly did love me. It wasn't about MM but rather something I was lacking in my life. And I just thought if I loved him enough... So anyway =) People starting out NC YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! If your ending an A keep reminding yourself you deserve THE WORLD! Be strong everyone =)
Got it Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 So what pulled YOU into the A? I liked who he was, we had similar philosophies in work, life, events, etc. I became attracted to him and decided to throw caution to the wind. What made you stay? How amazing things were/are for us. How synched we are on many things, our communication style, how much he loves me and how his actions prove it. And how did you realize it needed to be done? When we did end briefly it was because of dday and he needed to focus on his life and I could not take the additional drama. He needed to figure out what he wanted to do with his life and I did not need to be there as a distraction, cake, soother, etc. Reality had hit and he needed to figure things out. Yes, this has been discussed many times. But when was the reality check? The wake up call.. Or did it work out?? We are still a work in progress but we are back together and he is divorcing. It is work(ing). We hit a rough spot but have had some very good talks and make some changes that whould have some positive results. The most important thing is we are both very committed to this relationship and to each other. We both (re)assessed that we can't imagine our lives without the other in it.
secretlady76 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 (edited) What was the attraction and what pulled you in... What made you stay? And how did you realize it needed to be done? But when was the reality check? The wake up call.. Or did it work out?? MW/MM scenario.....Probably repeating myself here, but anyway; what pulled me in?...the instant connection resulting in the conversations we had. It made me want more and more (conversation that is before you get any ideas)...this was the main thing that kept me interested in being in touch with him at an increasing level, you know; chatting then, phone number swapping, email addresses etc. We'd talk and talk and talk and it was simply fantastic. The reality check was when we met alone for the first and only time, to chat and it turned physical (full on kissing). This was the moment we both thought, er, better cool this before it gets out of hand. More or less been attempting NC ever since. Edited May 1, 2010 by secretlady76
Lost Wanderer Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 What was the attraction and what pulled you in... He was my first real love. I've know MM for 27 years, and it was outside pressure that broke us up in the first place. What made you stay? Well simply that I love him. We were great together in the past and to my surprise we are still great together now. And how did you realize it needed to be done? Right now our R seems to be nowhere near done. But when was the reality check? The wake up call.. Or did it work out?? The reality check, well we both have figured out we need to leave our repective M's. So right now we are a work in progress. But so far it is looking like this may just work out. Both of our BS's know we want D's and we are both in the process of leaving our residences.
califnan Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Communicative, Sweet, Considerate, Communicative, handsome, Caring, Communicative, intelligent, humorous, Communicative, Considerate.
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