Lucky555 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Finally I was happy and forgetting about him until a friend called me this am to tell me about the guy i was previously seeing. He told our mutual friend that I should not contact him if I am not interested in him. I have not talked to the guy in 2.5 weeks! There was a day I contacted him before that online because i was drunk..didn't mean much and he didn't reply. I had been slowly getting myself away from this guy and then i am reminded of him. Apparently he didn't like how i dealt with freaking out over him going out with an ex...what? Who wouldn't if your "seeing" someone and had been trying to make the NEW relationship work. BUT, while i sat like a fool around for couple of months not seeing him because HE was TOO BUSY, I was hoping there would be a day we could see each other and I even offered to see him on times when it wouldn't be convenient for myself. He basically made our friend think I was acting like a Bi*** and i was out of line. 1. We were exclusive-month but to him this didn't mean relationship! During this time when i said since he didn't have the time to see me then it was no use continuing with him because its not what i want. He said he knew he was not too committed to me and found it hard to stay emotionally involved. (OUCH). 2. We semi-make up. Are working on US and realize we like each other and will see each other ASAP. Then he goes out with his ex. She was over at his place and they went to eat a nice meal together while he always said he had NO TIME FOR ME. 3. Fastforward to No contact for a few weeks and he finally tells my friend that he and I were together. WHAT! Every time i mentioned him and I being "together" it was a like he wanted to run. Commitment phobe? I think so. 4. All i wanted was to have a stable and healthy relationship. After hearing what my friend said it sounded like he did miss me. But i find it weird that he went to my friend instead of me. I know he hates confrontation but i think he is guilty for what he did but will not admit it. I don't understand why this has to come up because i was going no contact and we have not seen each other in two months. The sad part is we don't live that far away from each other. Why is it that he is upset and goes to our mutual friend. Why bother if he didn't want a relationship? Why go through the effort of trying to "relay" the message to me? By the way we are in our 20's. he seems like he is emotionally unavailable and doesn't express emotions like saying he misses me or anything. I know he doesn't want to be rejected but why would i stay with someone I never see???? Advise needed.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Sounds like a d*ckwad. First of all, he's a coward for running off to your mutual friend and blabbing about your " relationship". He doesn't have the guts to confront you because he knows he's in the wrong. Yet, he still like to make himself out to be the good guy here by telling your friend that you're the " psychopath". Mutual friends or not, if he can't deal with the problem like a civilized person without running off and creating drama you're better off without him. The ex thing? If you're like me, someone who can't put with others who still harbors feelings for exes while stringing me along, say goodbye. Do tell your mutual friend that you appreciate them for being the messenger but that you're over him and wants nothing to do with him. Motto- Only babies play games.
Author Lucky555 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Sounds like a d*ckwad. First of all, he's a coward for running off to your mutual friend and blabbing about your " relationship". He doesn't have the guts to confront you because he knows he's in the wrong. Yet, he still like to make himself out to be the good guy here by telling your friend that you're the " psychopath". Mutual friends or not, if he can't deal with the problem like a civilized person without running off and creating drama you're better off without him. The ex thing? If you're like me, someone who can't put with others who still harbors feelings for exes while stringing me along, say goodbye. Do tell your mutual friend that you appreciate them for being the messenger but that you're over him and wants nothing to do with him. Motto- Only babies play games. This whole thing i found out today and it really threw me off. I was doing great and then my friend insisted he doesn't have a thing for his ex and that I should consider seeing him again and not flip out because he knows i still have feelings for him. Whether or not i have feelings does not make it ok to be treated like crap. He is acting like a coward yes. He can't call me to talk? Like it sounds like he is creating drama. I was fine living on without him. I figured he lost interest because he never wanted a relationship by investing himself, never made time to see me, and didn't really act like a boyfriend. (All the signs were there) I'm just confused as to what to do. Part of me wants to be like why don't you just talk to me about it instead of going to our friend. Just because I think its wrong that he did this. But then again, he didn't act like he wanted a relationship when we were in contact because he was "too busy". He acted very aloof too like he was with me but he wasn't ....weird. This would be so much easier if he would just use a phone and call me. But like you said he knows he did wrong. What is wrong with this guy? I still have not decided on what i am going to do. My friend was supposed to call me today but he hasn't. I wanted to know more of what he said. Not once did the guy i was seeing "talk" about his feelings. My friend was even shocked that he brought up the subject because it really showed that he "misses me badly". Its the first display of him actually admitting to himself that I am a person he shouldn't lose. AND its only because I had to ditch him completely for him to see this! I don't get it. I think he wants me to contact him which is why he went through my friend. (I just don't know if i want to contact him, i felt as though if i could walk away and set him free it would all be better..that was until the phone call today leaving me very confused) Its like he was going along with seeing me but was dragging his feet when things were getting serious. Also when things we were exclusive it seemed like he didn't want that because he became distant. This guy has some issues to sort out with himself. Also he contacts my friend after me not talking to him for awhile? Is this someone who really wants me or someone who just doesn't want to be alone? Even if i talked to him about the situation he still isn't going to commit himself soon or have time to see me. According to my friend, who is his friend too...I should wait till i am done with my studies so he and I will have time to make plans and it will get better. To me this is a waste of time. The guy clearly went out with his ex with no regard to my feelings. The guy wasn't acting like he was interested. Then holding out and waiting for this guy is supposed to be a DREAM COME TRUE? I think some people have some pretty delusional thinking. I rather be alone and happy than wonder when or if this guy is going to want a relationship. Its pathetic to even fathom. Tell me if im wrong?
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