yume Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 What if I never get over him? What if I never love someone else again? What if I'll be alone til the day I die with 40 cats and a parrot? Why does this have to be so hard??
cmichael16 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 2.5 months tomorrow for me, and I ask the same questions. I have faith I will love again, I am sure I will think about her less and less but it will never fade to nothing. she was the only human I have ever felt that much love for and I am divorced. It will get better, have faith
aerogurl87 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I felt the same way about a year about my ex. I thought I'd never find someone else again, someone who made me feel alive, made me feel like life was worth living, etc. Then I met my boyfriend.
CarrieT Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Two years for me with my most recent Ex. And you know what? Not a day goes by when I don't think of each and every relationship I have been in. Even an ex-husband whom I haven't in over twenty years gets thought about. That is just human nature. We recollect. And I still wonder if I will ever love again, but I trust in the fates to take care of me. If do, fabulous. If I don't, than I relish those loves and lives I have already experienced. And I move on. And I am alone with a cat who has been with me almost 18 years. And if I die tomorrow, than I die with the love of a great cat who has seen me through the best of times and the worst of times. And it is hard because it is life. But life is an adventure and is worth living and there are a lot of people out there who have known no love, so thrive in what you have and know that you have love to give.
xpressyaself22 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I think I agree with what CarrieT said, it maybe it's just human nature. I said *I think* I agree because I'm currently in the same situation, after five months since I relationship ended I find myself thinking about him at random times during the day. I know that no matter what the circumstances were I would never get back with him, and most of my thoughts are more along the lines of wanting him to look back and regret how he treated me. But maybe a small part of us will always look back and think about the previous relationships we had???
ginyi1111 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 it has been six months for me since he broke up with me out of the blue and i still have not gotten over him. sure things are better now, i no longer agonise over losing him or sob myself to sleep but now he has now turned into an obsession for me. it's like he is always at the back of my mind... i want to move on so bad that i am moving on to a new job so that i wont be surrounded by our memories in the office. With his birtday coming up in two days now i am obessesed if i should drop him a birthday message.. so i dont know if we will ever get over the dumper, but i know now i have not..
You Go Girl Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 There's no guarantees that anybody is going to be there for you throughout your life--but--YOU! So make that YOU someone you can count on, best friend type of person. Then if somebody else lets you down--you still have your best friend. We all fail to see this--since we're stuck with ourselves forever, why not make ourselves our best ally? If you mistreat yourself, bash yourself with criticism, aren't there for yourself, stop it. If you abuse your body with drugs, alcohol, over-eating, etc., stop it. If you look in the mirror and you are your worst critic--stop it. If you don't take care of yourself by prioritizing your goals and making them happen, stop it. Start being there for you. People say there's only two things for sure in life--death and taxes. I want to include a 3rd--that you will always be around, no getting away from yourself. We all need a lesson in taking care of ourselves. Other people abuse us, neglect us, take advantage of us--we are angry and hurt. When we do the same to ourselves--we too often think nothing of it. I totally get the 40 cats. The parrot, there I get confused.
Perhaps Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Ok, here's the thing. There is a chance you won't stop thinking about him. I mean, if this person impacted your life deeply, you can't expect to just forget about him. BUT, the way you think about him will change. When I think of my first ex, I don't miss her and it doesn't bother me. I think of that time and it doesn't bother me or anything... it's just there. And in time, that's it will be - picture in your mind that won't make you go UGH. So, don't worry - it's normal... take it one day at a time. Best,
Author yume Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 Thanks guys; I didn't expect such a big response from my little rant And I am alone with a cat who has been with me almost 18 years. And if I die tomorrow, than I die with the love of a great cat who has seen me through the best of times and the worst of times. I've had a lot of cats in my life and they've all meant so much to me...at the end of the day sometimes I feel like my cat is the only one who will love me til the day he dies, no questions asked. I totally get the 40 cats. The parrot, there I get confused. Call it......writers privilege? When I think of my first ex, I don't miss her and it doesn't bother me. I think of that time and it doesn't bother me or anything... it's just there. It's how I think about my first ex too, a year later. I guess I should keep that in mind as a goal. And it is hard because it is life. But life is an adventure and is worth living and there are a lot of people out there who have known no love, so thrive in what you have and know that you have love to give. Wise words
Nikki Sahagin Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I want to second what an earlier poster mentioned, you will never stop thinking of him, but the nature of your thoughts will change. I think of next to everyone i've ever known on a daily basis; family, childhood friends, the most unimportant and random of people, but it doesn't necessarily impact me negatively. They just filter through your mind. Imagine instead, what if he thinks of you. They may leave us, but they'll never stop thinking of us. I kinda like that.
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