JamesDean5398 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 hello, i don't even know where to begin. I am a fairly attractive guy. I can get a girlfriend. But, once when i have one, I just don't like to be always attached to the hip with her. I like my space to do my own things, and at the same time i know she wants to spend time with me, but my own things take so much of my limited time that I have. I work over 40 hours and when i get home, i like to go to the gym, do some sports activities. I go through a lot of girlfriends, and i don't think i even had a LTR in a while. what is the best way to let my next girl friend know of my time availability? thanks
sagetalk Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I'm struggling with this myself. I work and like to do stuff in addition to being with a girl, but most attractive young women really don't seem to like a guy not spending most of their free time with them.
alphamale Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 what is the best way to let my next girl friend know of my time availability? thanks just tell her your schedule on the first date
carhill Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Your schedule is *not* the deathknell of your LTR's. It's how you *handle* your schedule and how you *handle* your LTR. You can be busy, take time for yourself, yet still *prioritize* your LTR partner. The key is communication, especially listening. Adjunct to that is accepting that only a very small subset of the total female population will be compatible. If you are being true to yourself, communicating, listening and showing love and affection and interest in them and parameters of your life are not acceptable to them, then they're not. Move on. A compatible woman will appreciate and support your path in life, and you hers. Good luck
Eeyore79 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 What do you call "limited time"? You have two days and evenings each weekend, plus five evenings after work, plus holidays. How much time does "your stuff" take, and how much time can you really spare for a relationship? If, for example, you have some sort of evening activity twice a week and spend another evening with your friends, you're still talking about only three evenings out of seven, leaving you four evenings to spend with a girlfriend. If you want to see your friends more than that, maybe you could organise an evening out where you bring your gf and your friends bring their partners? Plus you have two weekend days, and it seems reasonable to spend one of those with your gf. I can't see a girl complaining if you saw her 3-4 evenings per week, spent a weekend day with her, and went on holiday with her a couple of times a year. Or can't you even manage that? If your other stuff is taking up too much of your time, I guess you have to re-assess your priorities - is it more important to have a relationship or to do whatever other stuff you do? No girl is going to settle for being second best to your buddies or your hobbies.
LondonS Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 hello- Yes I am having exactly the same problem.. I attract so many men yet I cant handle a relationship with any of them.. I just do not have time for it...
fellforher Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I have the same issue. Sports..active lifestyle, full time job. Let me tell you, when you meet the right girl you will figure it out. I rescheduled tennis matches for right after work instead of evenings. I work out at lunch. I also include my girl in workouts and tennis sometimes if she wants. I make sure to do the bike rides with friends when my girl is working so I can spend an off day with her. You figure it out. It's a good thing because if you aren't really into a girl, you will not even make the effort or care to do all of this. Are you an only-child? Just wondering because I am, and it took a little longer to learn how to share with someone else properly.
Author JamesDean5398 Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 i am the youngest child. There is a lot of good input on here.
D-Lish Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I have the same issue. Sports..active lifestyle, full time job. Let me tell you, when you meet the right girl you will figure it out. I rescheduled tennis matches for right after work instead of evenings. I work out at lunch. I also include my girl in workouts and tennis sometimes if she wants. I make sure to do the bike rides with friends when my girl is working so I can spend an off day with her. You figure it out. It's a good thing because if you aren't really into a girl, you will not even make the effort or care to do all of this. Are you an only-child? Just wondering because I am, and it took a little longer to learn how to share with someone else properly. I like your advice.
fellforher Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Thank you d-lish. I'd love a girls perspective on my thread in the cheating (im not cheating dont worry..lol) subforum here. If you get a chance to read it id like to hear your advice.
spookie Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 IMO, you just haven't found the right person yet. The right person will probably be more independent (or at least busier) than the girls you've recently dated, and more compatible with your hobbies so that it's not an either/or. I work full-time too, work-out every day, am conscientious about not neglecting my friends, and I need a lot of personal time. My bf and I have settled into a routine that seems to work for us both, having a sleepover in the middle of the week, a date on the weekend, and hanging out with our friends whenever we feel like it. When we are more busy, in leiu of dates we might work out or go grocery shopping together. Dating him is compatible to my lifestyle. It's not a huge time investment, because I would be doing the things I do with him anyway.
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