freckles3131 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 (edited) Hello, My bf of 8 years broke up with me. I'm currently in no contact mode. We left things on a somewhat amicable way, but I'm in no contact to heal and move on. His birthday is in 2 weeks. Should I send a birthday card? I would think simply sending a card would be okay and show that I'm okay and not still a mess. By not sending him a card I feel it will show that I'm still "getting over him" when sending a simple b-day card (a funny one, simply signed, nothing to it) would show that I'm okay... yes, no? Edited May 1, 2010 by freckles3131 Link to post Share on other sites
LK30 Posted May 1, 2010 Share Posted May 1, 2010 Well it's my ex's b'day on Tues and I asked everyone that same question and the advice was no, don't do it! Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 You're completely looking at this backwards. Sending a card will definitely show him that you're not over him and still sitting around pining. If you were over him you wouldn't have a desire to contact him and you wouldn't care what he though of you. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 If your BF is like most men, he'll interpret your sending him a birthday card as a sign of interest. If he gets nothing, it will hammer home the point it is over between you. Given what you've said about wanting to heal (8 YEARS???), I'd opt for number 2. Link to post Share on other sites
DontWorryBHappy Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Do not send a card or any other message of any kind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted May 2, 2010 Author Share Posted May 2, 2010 Boy do I love this site! Got it. No card, no nothing, nada. Can do! I do believe you are 100% correct in your statements and perspectives. Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Crazy.S Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 yeah def dont send him a card or anything. when u do all u do is setting yourself up for another year of "should i send him something this time?" and by not sending anything u make a point that he doesnt exist to you. the reason why you want that is you want time to heal and hopefully he gets the idea. so you wont have to wondering when hes going to contact to you. actually its better to change your number(kinda extreme) or block him so you get some peace of mind Link to post Share on other sites
ditched Posted May 3, 2010 Share Posted May 3, 2010 (edited) I went through this last week. I took my friends advice and didn't send a card. Nor called/texted/messaged. They even tried to take my cellphone for a day! Even though i'm not over her, and still totally want her back, she left me and knows I was distraught over it, so there's no reason to remind her. Edited May 3, 2010 by ditched Link to post Share on other sites
Author freckles3131 Posted May 5, 2010 Author Share Posted May 5, 2010 But....I don't want him back. I'm not even thinking about it. Happier and less stressed now that it's over. I think it's a relief. I am not hoping for a reply. I am not looking to talk. I just think it would show that I am handling things in and am not being dramatic about it and being a child having a temper tantrum. "No, I'm NOT gonna send you are card, HMPH!!" I think you guys are seeing it as I want something out of it. Again, I don't reconciliation or anything like it. More of a let's be cordial and not angry. I would send a card to any friends of mine who I have known for 10 years... Last time we broke up for our 2 year break we took each other out for dinner/movie/gift as "friends" So me not doing the dinner etc...and sending a card only, will send an "it's done" message in itself, but I think not sending a generic card is going to say, "I'm still mad, pissed, hurt, not over it and don't even want to aknowledge your birthday" Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
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