spike7165 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Sorry to keep posting different things but you guys are so helpful and I realise I suck so much at dating! So things are going pretty good I think..We've seen each other every day for a week now on our own and with mutual friends, had a pretty good time. Her affection level has gone up and she's very very cuddly, kissing and caressing all the time. Calls when she says she will and seems to be trying hard for me. She showed me an email from another guy tonight who'd seen us together last night I guess to both see my reaction and be open with me... Her close friends say she's happy and likes me so.... I saw her today and inadvertently made a stupid joke after reading the email in which the guy had said she was single, that "you're not now" I actually was joking but she said while smiling "what I'm not single now"? We left it and went for food but I thought I should settle it or I knew it would bug me, so I said to her that I was joking before, but I didn't want to see anyone else and did she still want to be single? She replied rather coyly but sweetly that not being single would be "good" It was quite fun and no serious words like bf or gf, just not to be single any longer. Anyway so point being I'm kind of unsure how things go from now. We've spent a lot of time together but it feels good, but I do have to do more work and don't want to slip backwards by spending less time with her. Ahhh not making this clear at all! What I mean is that we've both been running at each other 1000% this week and that can't continue at that speed but how to keep the momentum going... In retrospect maybe being a bit slower would have been good then I wouldnt have to feel like I'm slowing down now...
kdark Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Sorry to keep posting different things but you guys are so helpful and I realise I suck so much at dating! So things are going pretty good I think..We've seen each other every day for a week now on our own and with mutual friends, had a pretty good time. Her affection level has gone up and she's very very cuddly, kissing and caressing all the time. Calls when she says she will and seems to be trying hard for me. She showed me an email from another guy tonight who'd seen us together last night I guess to both see my reaction and be open with me... Her close friends say she's happy and likes me so.... I saw her today and inadvertently made a stupid joke after reading the email in which the guy had said she was single, that "you're not now" I actually was joking but she said while smiling "what I'm not single now"? We left it and went for food but I thought I should settle it or I knew it would bug me, so I said to her that I was joking before, but I didn't want to see anyone else and did she still want to be single? She replied rather coyly but sweetly that not being single would be "good" It was quite fun and no serious words like bf or gf, just not to be single any longer. Anyway so point being I'm kind of unsure how things go from now. We've spent a lot of time together but it feels good, but I do have to do more work and don't want to slip backwards by spending less time with her. Ahhh not making this clear at all! What I mean is that we've both been running at each other 1000% this week and that can't continue at that speed but how to keep the momentum going... In retrospect maybe being a bit slower would have been good then I wouldnt have to feel like I'm slowing down now... I think you guys will still be ok if you don't see each other everyday of every week. Learning how to spend time apart from each is a very important step in dating. Don't be afraid to give her the gift of missing you.
Author spike7165 Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 I'm going to try and back off a little bit. How do I do that though without seeming like I'm going cold on her? I agree it makes sense from a missing someone point of view and also from actually needing to do other things, but when we've had a pretty intense week how do I step it down without seeming like I'm backing off. Or is it good to look like I'm backing off a bit?
starwolf242 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Just tell her you have really enjoyed spending so much time with her but you've let your work slide a little and need to catch up. Arrange a day to see her so she knows you still want to hang out but otherwise tell her you have a busy week at work. Keep in touch over the phone/text letting her know you're thinking of her and she should be fine with that.
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