Kamille Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 That's sad, poor woman. I can see why your friend was messed up. People would see it happen to me and assume I wanted it, possibly same with her. Thankfully it doesn't happen anymore, of course. Yeah... I saw it happen. It escalated from them teasing her because they could see her cleavage when she bent over to work on the machines to them cornering her and feeling her up. She tried to laugh it off all the while saying "stop guys, okay guys stop it... not funny anymore, stop it". I probably would have reacted the same way if I were her. She was in a public space, didn't want to attract unnecessarily attention to what's going on, wasn't in a position to overpower 4 guys who all claimed to be her friends. I think the teacher (a man) misinterpreted her reaction as "well she's okay with it, she's laughing". Meanwhile, I approached her after class to see how she was doing and she burst into tears and told me to leave her alone. In the next classes, the guys would randomly walk up to her an grab her boobs, so she eventually got a reputation for being easy (which the girls probably spread). I don't think people understand how hard it is to stand up to that kind of situation. It's never as simple as saying "no thanks" or "stop it".
MrNate Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I guess I won't have to worry about that since it's pretty hard to talk to a woman's ass instead of her face. I don't really have much of a choice
sagetalk Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 1. Are the men that are in the bar, not the same men that are outside of the bar? I'm a little confused. Are you saying that it's alright they act this way because they are in a bar? As opposed to... ??? I guess some places make it alright for guys to act like that. As for the whole 'friendzoning' thing, it doesn't work like that. A girl doesn't immediatly put a guy into that category because the guy isn't oggling her breasts. That's absurd. And i'm not looking for anything, I was just observing. 1. Guys hanging out in a bar are the definition of guys that only care about having sex with girls. You're in a bar, so I don't understand why you are surprised that a cat is chasing a mouse. That is what they do. Is it acceptable? To me, no, but who cares I'm a guy. A lot of women love it, these guys know it, and some girls wouldn't have it any other way. You're mistaken about being friends. If a man approaches a girl with a focus on her intellect and heart he will almost always be friendzoned. If a man doesn't show a girl he wants her physically, it's basically a sexual death sentence. Tons of guys on here have lived that reality and I'd like to never repeat it again. I have no desire to act disrespectfully to a woman, but I'm always cautious to focus on appealing to and focusing on her intellect. It seems to be a huge turn off to women and a road paved straight to never getting anywhere but friendland.
yume Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Well....I'm a 34A and I still get talked to / approached by guys.. not obviously as much as a pretty girl with DDs but still. Guys who are intrigued just by boobage aren't worth it anyway.
Author EricaH329 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 1. Guys hanging out in a bar are the definition of guys that only care about having sex with girls. You're in a bar, so I don't understand why you are surprised that a cat is chasing a mouse. That is what they do. Is it acceptable? To me, no, but who cares I'm a guy. A lot of women love it, these guys know it, and some girls wouldn't have it any other way. Surprised? No. I work at a bar. I'm not surprised by anything that goes on. I'm simply asking why it's alright that it does go on. I understand that if a woman dresses with her breasts popping out of her shirt, that she is basically asking for it. I get that. I'm referring to the girls who don't dress like that, and still get treated like that. You're mistaken about being friends. If a man approaches a girl with a focus on her intellect and heart he will almost always be friendzoned. If a man doesn't show a girl he wants her physically, it's basically a sexual death sentence. Tons of guys on here have lived that reality and I'd like to never repeat it again. I have no desire to act disrespectfully to a woman, but I'm always cautious to focus on appealing to and focusing on her intellect. It seems to be a huge turn off to women and a road paved straight to never getting anywhere but friendland. Geez, where are you meeting the women who will only take you seriously if you stare at their chests??! I've never heard of such a thing!
Leia Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I guess I won't have to worry about that since it's pretty hard to talk to a woman's ass instead of her face. I don't really have much of a choice :lmao:
alphamale Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Geez, where are you meeting the women who will only take you seriously if you stare at their chests??! at the nudie bar
AD1980 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 1. Guys hanging out in a bar are the definition of guys that only care about having sex with girls. You're in a bar, so I don't understand why you are surprised that a cat is chasing a mouse. That is what they do. Is it acceptable? To me, no, but who cares I'm a guy. A lot of women love it, these guys know it, and some girls wouldn't have it any other way. You're mistaken about being friends. If a man approaches a girl with a focus on her intellect and heart he will almost always be friendzoned. If a man doesn't show a girl he wants her physically, it's basically a sexual death sentence. Tons of guys on here have lived that reality and I'd like to never repeat it again. I have no desire to act disrespectfully to a woman, but I'm always cautious to focus on appealing to and focusing on her intellect. It seems to be a huge turn off to women and a road paved straight to never getting anywhere but friendland. You're right about the friendzone thing you have to establish right away your physically attracted and want to see if theryes a spark there otherwise its just friendzone.. I do have a problem with the stereotype that all guys in bars are just savages looking to drag something home..Are all women in bars whores? Im 29 years old most people my age during weekends go to Clubs/Bar/Lounges im not old enough yet to where im gonna go to bingo on Friday nights.. Iam looking for a relationship no matter where i find the women..I have problems getting a women but thats my own shyness lack of self confidence in my looks etc but thats anotehr story.. but i dont want to be stereotyped as some scumbag because i go to bars..
Author EricaH329 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 I should mention that women do like to feel sexy. They like to know that their SO finds them sexually attractive. However, when first meeting a woman, or when speaking to them... it is not our idea (the majority of females) that it's appropriate to focus on our chests
MrNate Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Am I the only one who thinks it's not all about the boobs? There's just something magical about a great, shapely ass.
sagetalk Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Said much more clearly than my post about 'changing' their attraction style. Thanks This is exactly, precisely, without exception, how it has worked for the entirety of my life. The lesson is *I* was paying attention to the wrong kind of women. Incompatible women. Here's something to try.... if you sense 'conversation' becoming the 'friendzone', simply move on. No comment, no animosity, no bitterness. She's a boob-squeeze respondent woman and not for you. Thank her for being so clear with you about her preference. Next You're right, and you made a great post I went back and read it. I have always treated women above and beyond the respect most men show them. I can have conversation about almost anything and enjoy it greatly, and I find intelligence in a woman to be a very attractive feature. However, I have focused on these things and it has lead to some bad results. I thank you for reminding me that it isn't entirely my fault. I suppose many of the women I've been interested in were the "grab me" type, and thus the friend zone. Girls have asked me if I was gay in the past (extremely heartless) because I'm attractive, tall, and toned, but I do not pursue women sexually in a relationship. Instead, I focus on who they are, what they believe, and what they want out of life. I want much more than physical attraction. A great chest, face, eyes, fitness, is a great start, but I don't want to have sex with a girl just because I'm attracted to her. I want to have sex with a women because I love: her mind, personality, heart, and body. Without all of those, it's just not enough for me. I've been fortunate that most girls have been honest with me and didn't lie or just disappear with no explanation. Alot of them just wanted physical love or entertainment, but that's not what I'm looking for. I do think I have been paying attention to wrong type as well. Bitterness is not an option anymore, besides its pointless anyway. They like what they like and I move on. If you have any tips on signs they aren't just a "grab me" girl let me know, I could use em.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Girls have asked me if I was gay in the past (extremely heartless) because I'm attractive, tall, and toned, but I do not pursue women sexually in a relationship. Instead, I focus on who they are, what they believe, and what they want out of life. I want much more than physical attraction. A great chest, face, eyes, fitness, is a great start, but I don't want to have sex with a girl just because I'm attracted to her. I want to have sex with a women because I love: her mind, personality, heart, and body. Without all of those, it's just not enough for me. All the mind/heart/personality stuff is great, but if there's no physical spark or intensity, and if you are not clearly expressing physical desire for your partner (male or female), it feels like you're dealing with a friend, not a lover. It's perfectly fine and wonderful to show interest in ALL those facets of a woman. Just don't shortchange the physical aspect.
SadandConfusedWA Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I never had any abusive experiences with my big boobs. I think it's because they only grew later in life. Weirdly, I was a C cup as a teeneger and because I am quite tall, they looked average sized. In my early 20's, they grew to E cup with only about 10lbs weight gain. At that age, I could deal with the attention and I liked it. While I don't like men who talk to my chest only, I enjoy it when I talk to a guy and he steals a glance at my boobs every now and then. It makes me feel sexy and I enjoy being desired in a purely physical way.
sweetjasmine Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Second, if they just want to have a conversation, they will be friendzoned. The reason guys go after the physical is because it works, friendszone hardly ever works. When women start friendzoning guys who are grabbing at them, and start dating and marrying conversation guys, then I will believe they actually want a conversation. Seriously? If someone is "grabbing at me," I don't friendzone them. I don't date them, either. I tell them to never touch me again and leave me alone.
fellforher Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I am sick of fake boobs on girls. I see it everywhere down here and they are not that great to be honest. I much prefer the real thing even if they are not big. Will I look for a half second? Yes, because I am a guy, but it does not mean I am attracted and want that girl. Last girl I dated before my girl was a fitness model with fake ones. She had no body fat and fake boobs. I thought she had a pretty face and we went out a few times until I realized she was self centered and had nothing really going on that excited me. I dropped her for my all natural beauty with perky B cups and have not regretted it once.
sagetalk Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Seriously? If someone is "grabbing at me," I don't friendzone them. I don't date them, either. I tell them to never touch me again and leave me alone. I was making an exaggerated statement to belittle men who move very quickly physically with women. This is in the initial stages in a relationship not strangers. I have found that the men who move in physcially faster, usually get what they want. If you start in the other direction, it seems to make things much harder. Then again, I may be pursuing and observing the wrong types of girls for me.
sweetjasmine Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 I was making an exaggerated statement to belittle men who move very quickly physically with women. This is in the initial stages in a relationship not strangers. I have found that the men who move in physcially faster, usually get what they want. If you start in the other direction, it seems to make things much harder. Then again, I may be pursuing and observing the wrong types of girls for me. Maybe you are observing the wrong types of girls. Personally I'm not all that impressed by guys who try to move in fast, physically. It makes me uncomfortable and suspicious. There has to be some tension, physical attraction and interest, but I'm more comfortable with guys who take it more slowly, overall.
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 (edited) I just thought I would point out that the bigger the boobs, the more attention females get. before this spins off into a male bashing, male guilt thread.... Same thing if a dude walks into a room and has a giant kielbasa outlined in his pants - the women go CRAZY!!! You ladies start talking in a low pitched voice to your lady friend..."OMG, look at that...oooohhh...mmmm" LOL Edited May 1, 2010 by You'reasian
Lizzie60 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Alright, since I wasn't very clear last night (after having a few too many), I'll explain what I mean. Since I work at a bar, I get to see guys in their sleaziest form. A coworker of mine just had her boobs done about a year ago. She's tiny to begin with, and her boobs are now a size D. There are guys who come in just for her, who won't spend any money unless she is serving them. I, personally, find it degrading when a man will talk to your breasts and not even glance at your face. Yes, guys with muscles will be noticed... but females do not only focus on that while talking to you. It gets old after awhile, and for the women who cannot help their breast size (not really talking about me, since i'm about average), it becomes extremely difficult to weed out the guys who want to have a conversation with you, as opposed to your physical attributes. The bold part caught my attention... are you mad because the guys are coming to the bar to see HER and not you? She probably gets a lot more tips because of her boobs.. I don't think that fake boobs are attractive but for men.. fake boobs are still better than small ones..
You'reasian Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 (edited) I should mention that women do like to feel sexy. They like to know that their SO finds them sexually attractive. However, when first meeting a woman, or when speaking to them... it is not our idea (the majority of females) that it's appropriate to focus on our chests I should also mention that men do like to feel sexy. They like to know that their SO finds them sexually attractive. However, when first meeting one of us....it is our idea that's appropriate to focus on, not the bulge (kielbasa or wallet) to focus on... Edited May 1, 2010 by You'reasian
Author EricaH329 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 before this spins off into a male bashing, male guilt thread.... Same thing if a dude walks into a room and has a giant kielbasa outlined in his pants - the women go CRAZY!!! You ladies start talking in a low pitched voice to your lady friend..."OMG, look at that...oooohhh...mmmm" LOL I don't intend to bash males, I love men! I'm only ranting. And I, personally, have never seen a 'giant kielbasa' bulging from a mans pants before If I were to, i'd think that it's entirely too big and it would actually turn me off. The bold part caught my attention... are you mad because the guys are coming to the bar to see HER and not you? She probably gets a lot more tips because of her boobs.. I don't think that fake boobs are attractive but for men.. fake boobs are still better than small ones.. No no, i'm not mad that they are coming to see her. Good for her!! If she likes using her breasts to gain attention, or money, then that's her choice and it's none of my business. I, personally, wouldn't want a team of guys coming to see me just because of my breasts, but that's just me.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Just to add to the topic, most women normally have low self esteem because of certain attributes they're lacking. If a woman were to get plastic surgery because of this, its understandable although her peers might stigmatize her. Us women tend to bash each other more than female male bashing if you look at it. I admit, sometimes I can nasty about another woman if I find her physically intimidating. which just makes me more ugly on the inside.
AD1980 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Just to add to the topic, most women normally have low self esteem because of certain attributes they're lacking. If a woman were to get plastic surgery because of this, its understandable although her peers might stigmatize her. Us women tend to bash each other more than female male bashing if you look at it. I admit, sometimes I can nasty about another woman if I find her physically intimidating. which just makes me more ugly on the inside. lol i noticed that..Women are brutal towards each other though usually behind each others backs..Talking about some harmless girl who just left saying how ugly she is and stuff Why are women so competitive and nasty with each other?
dreamingoftigers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 before this spins off into a male bashing, male guilt thread.... Same thing if a dude walks into a room and has a giant kielbasa outlined in his pants - the women go CRAZY!!! You ladies start talking in a low pitched voice to your lady friend..."OMG, look at that...oooohhh...mmmm" LOL I have NEVER in my life seen this or been part of it.
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