phineas Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Ok, so a woman i kinda know wanted to hang out last sunday at an outdoor thing but it rained & it didn't happen. We've talked in person a few times but just idle chit-chat & jokeing around. She called me today after I sent her a joke text at her request & wondered if it would be ok if she stopped by after my kid goes to sleep. it's in the air because if my kid don't go down when he usually does i'm not having anyone over & also once I said it should be ok if my kid is sleeping she added she isn't positive she'll stop by but she'll call me & let me know. I signed my D-papers yesterday. I'm kinda freaking out here. She's hot. She's been flirting with me & i've been just laying low because I was working out the custody BS & really just wouldn't be good company. That's over. She acts interested in me. she shows the signs. Touching my arm, laughing at all my jokes ect. I don't believe she is a tease. I mean calling me up & asking to come over then blowing me off would be certifiable if she was an attention whore. I don't know what to expect. She obviously trusts me enough to come over to my house when we arn't even dateing or been on a date. I don't think she's looking for a booty call. I just did the dishes, about to shave the toilet & mop the hardwood..febreeze the couch....oh man.
carhill Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 I just did the dishes, about to shave the toilet & mop the hardwood..febreeze the couch....oh man. LOL, give it another decade or two and it won't matter. Have fun she added she isn't positive she'll stop by but she'll call me & let me know. Yep, that about sums up why I don't care any more. Too many years of that.
Author phineas Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 LOL, give it another decade or two and it won't matter. Have fun Yep, that about sums up why I don't care any more. Too many years of that. If she does pull that crap I won't be too broken up & i'll just loose her number. I did have a hot single mom over with her kids wed for a "play date" I told her i'd take her golfing a while back & she seems determined to hold me to it because she keeps reminding me. LOL! so I got that going on maybe next week if the weather stays nice.
carhill Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 I used to kill to have a woman over to my country home. After being married, I'm hoping that they all think it's 'too far out in the sticks' for them. Amazing how a decade and a marriage can change one. A golf date sounds nice. I hope that works out for you
Author phineas Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 I used to kill to have a woman over to my country home. After being married, I'm hoping that they all think it's 'too far out in the sticks' for them. Amazing how a decade and a marriage can change one. A golf date sounds nice. I hope that works out for you It is funny how before marriage my life revolved around getting a woman over to my place. Now, if there is no woman I can sit on my back porch & enjoy a stinky cigar in the warm night air. Or catch up on my SCI-FI shows. Or paint my kitchen cabinets. or....you get the idea. Its not that I don't care, its just that i'm starting to just realize worrying about a chick that blows you off is a waste of energy. i'm actually more worried if she thinks my house is a pig sty as opposed to whether or not it works out. But I think i'm good.
soserious1 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 LOL, give it another decade or two and it won't matter. Have fun Yep, that about sums up why I don't care any more. Too many years of that. since he's not sure his child will go to sleep on schedule and he's indicated it would be a no go if he doesn't why is it a problem if the woman can't make it as long as she lets him know? The whole thing sounds iffy on BOTH sides.
carhill Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 At 50, I've grown out of nebulous. No problem if others haven't. I make commitments days, weeks and months in advance and people know I'll be there on the dot unless I'm dead. I don't demand that of anyone. I also don't waste my valuable time on nebulous people. Too much wasted time under the bridge. I'll tell you why I despise people who throw out the 'not sure if I can be there' drama line.... they know, one way or another, but they like the power of keeping someone else in the dark; the mystery. IME, most of those folks are BBD (big, better deal) people. I invite them to move on to the BBD and leave me alone. Thanks
Author phineas Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 I agree with carhill. she's done if she blew me off. i've wasted too much time on people like that in the past. But, she called, my kid is asleep & asked if she could stop by. So i'm just a little nervous now. She called last minute & i'm not keen on bringing women around my kids is all so that is why It was up in the air on my side. The single mom is an exception because our kids play together. ok shutting down the PC for the night.
Author phineas Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 ok. we hung out a few hrs. We just talked. got to know each other a little better. Hugged after word. Then she asked me when I didn't have my kids next & I told her. she said she'd give me a call that day & see what was going on. Me: you want to go roller bladeing? Her: I'm not sure if I have anything going on. Me: ok (thinking of carhills bobble-head comment) talk to you later. she didn't want to make definite plans for wed. fine with me. I don't have a problem making definite plans on wed. with someone else. I'm not positive but I think, maybe, just possibly, this woman is a flake. I fully expect to hear from her again. Last minute. On her terms if she doesn't have anything better to do. I recognize the type. Just never met one this old. I think I see why she is almost 40 & never married. She obviously just isn't that into me. Otherwise she would make definite plans. So I will be focusing elsewhere.
carhill Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Me: you want to go roller bladeing? Her: I'm not sure if I have anything going on. Me: ok (thinking of carhills bobble-head comment) talk to you later. 'I need people in my life who are sure. I'm sure I'd like to go roller blading with you on Wednesday. How do you feel about that?' If I don't hear the response which is healthy for myself, I simply nod, say 'I understand' and then 'take care' which I say to mean 'I hope life treats you well' and erase them from my memory banks. TBH, if I had been more assertive in my marriage, clearly leading, I'd probably still be married. I won't make that mistake again. OP, I have a male 'friend' who sounds like this woman. He's 45 and has never been married. Our group never really knows if we can count on him. He's a nebulous guy. At our age, those behaviors should be in the past. Well, onward. If nebulous gal is otherwise engaging, and you have nothing better to do, consider her for 'last minute' things. Mirror her behavior. I wouldn't, but that's always an option. Good luck
Author phineas Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 'I need people in my life who are sure. I'm sure I'd like to go roller blading with you on Wednesday. How do you feel about that?'I'm working on cutting people that I need to be this way with out of my life. My problem is it's my nature to give them 2nd chances & sometimes 3rd. I'm sure eventually the dick in me will come out & the memory wipe will be swift. Right now they need to really piss me off before I do that. at this point, it really doesn't bother me & I am not worried if she calls me or not because It's my day without the kids & I won't be spending it sitting on my butt at home.
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