Kestersfiance304 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 (edited) My name is Loretta and me and my fiance have been together for 2yrs. We have a 9month old son together who is our world. I am really happy with him and really in love with him. I have been done wrong in all my other relationships and its pretty much ruined my selfesteem and trust. My fiance doesnt give me any reason to be jealous cause he doesnt cheat or even talk to other woman. I guess what I'm saying is we could be out shopping or something and I accuse him of staring at other women and he dont ,he promises me . He tells me all the time I'm beautiful and he dont want anyone else and I do believe him but once again Jealousy takes over. I want to be myself again and not be so jealous. It's making us argue alot and I dont want to lose him over this, so please give me some answers. Edited April 30, 2010 by Kestersfiance304
Dexter Morgan Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 well he can't keep his eyes closed. Everyone, including you, appreciates the attractiveness of others. Doesn't mean we want to go off and mess around. I realize there are many attractive people out in the world and I'd be a fool to think any woman of mine doesn't look at another guy from time to time and not think he is good looking. Now if your fiance were to break his neck and go out of his way to look at other women, especially in front of you, that would be a different story.
Author Kestersfiance304 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Thank you Dexter. I know he doesnt want another woman and I know he doesnt stare at another woman too. Your reply has really made me understand and now I feel better. So thank you.
BB07 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Excessive jealousy is most often about your own insecurities and fears which translates into wanting to control the outcome of a relationship/person. You know deep down in your heart that you can't really do that because we all have free choice. You can't control him, you can't make him not cheat. If he is going to cheat, there is not ONE DAMN thing you can do about it. With that said...... If your heart feels pretty sure that THIS MAN won't cheat on you, then you need to let it go. It will only drive him away (as you already see it's causing problems) and makes him resent you. Excessive jealousy is soul killing and it's demeaning, it's not flattering, nor does it show someone how much you care for them. If you can't find a way to make peace with it on your own, then you need to get some counseling and address it straight on. Good luck!
jenifer1972 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 If you cannot affort counseling for yourself on this issue, consider journaling out your issues that you had in past relationships. Make two columns. One of the guys who cheated on you, then another about your fiance, and write the differences in both columns until your psyche can see that your past experience is bleeding over into your current life without reason.
Author Kestersfiance304 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Thank You Jenifer1972 that makes alot more since. I dont have trust issues with cheating thats not my main problem. I know I am very attactive and he tells me I am everyday. Even after I had our son he told me I was beautiful and there is no other woman out there I want to be with. He said your it for me and I know he's telling the truth because he has never lied to me before. I trust him on the part of cheating but I think where I was abused and cheated on in the past realtionships and plus my ex's would stare and comment about other women and that hurts. So now when I'm out with my fiance I am always wondering if he's staring and we talked about that too and he said I dont need to stare at another woman because I have a beautiful fiance with a bangn body ,beautiful face and great personality. But what u posted to me I am gonna do that because my fiance means the world to me and I dont ever wanna push him away. I mean he's jealous too but only when he thinks he should be and I need to be the same way. But once again thank you.
Author Kestersfiance304 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 :rolleyes:Thank you BB07 but I know 100% that my fiance is 100% faithful to me and he has talked me about it. We have talked about the whole staring thing and he told me that I dont have no need to worry that he is staring at another woman because he has a beautiful fiance with a beautiful face and a bangn body and I shouldnt worry cause there is no other woman out that could add up to me. I believe him and I am gonna just sit down and do what Jenifer1972 posted to me cause it makes alot more since. But once agin thank you.
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