Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 That being said all you have to do is look at the cheating and divorce forums on this board to see why WOMEN need to be very careful when choosing a mate. It goes both ways, Woggle -- stop being so myopic. If you click on new posts you lose count of how many threads you see from men who were blindsided and women who have great guys but have fallen out of love. You also see plenty of women chasing after MM. There are many good women but men often have to sift through a lot of drama to find one.
CarrieT Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 If you click on new posts you lose count of how many threads you see from men who were blindsided and women who have great guys but have fallen out of love. You also see plenty of women chasing after MM. There are many good women but men often have to sift through a lot of drama to find one. Again, you are wrong. Why can't you own up the fact that BOTH men and women are equally to blame??? Here is EXACTLY a synopsis of what I see when I click New Posts -- and on the first page, THE OTHER MAN/WOMAN thread is about Women who are dealing with cheating husbands: DATING Nervous about a guy I have a date with, who has potential Dating a Stripper American Women 18-30 Have Low Sex Drives PHYSICAL FITNESS My work schedule is killing me MARRIAGE AND LIFE PARTNERSHIPS Sexless Marriages (posted by a woman) "I Just Knew" COPING What if I never stop thinking about him? BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS How to get a co-worker fired Job change for recent college grad SEXUAL & REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH SERVICES Do men need sex to be happy? THE OTHER MAN/WOMAN An Update - about a WOMAN whose husband has cheated How do you deal with waiting? - about a WOMAN whose husband has cheated FRIENDSHIP Will we be friends again at some point? Divorcing, but all my friends are still hanging out with him IN SEARCH OF Why would a girl rather be single? LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP Two fights in two days
Kamille Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I'm so glad the medical profession is finally catching on that birth control pills affect women's libidos. The first time I mentioned this possibility to my doctor and my sister (who's a gynecologist!) 10 years ago, they both told me there was a "rumored" link, but that nothing had been proven so far. It must be all in my mind. So, they told me to investigate if there were problematic areas in my relationship which might be the source of my (then) dried libido. What terrible advice! Basically, "the problem isn't pharmaceuticals: it must be your boyfriend!" I started insisting on non-hormonal methods two years ago. The doctor still seemed skeptic but I insisted. So while I'm sure there are psychological and societal issues related to women's low sex-drives, I agree with the article's focus on the effects birth control pills and anti-depressant. Unless a womn exploring her sexuality means screwing 100 different guys, I can't think of a single man that would be against trying new things with his girl. I know I wouldn't. I've been with women who loved sex as much as me and it was great! Apart from a few exceptions (for instance, Woggle on this thread), I don't think most men's discomfort with a women who love sex is meant to "control" women. The way I see it, in my own experience, the partners who were uncomfortable with my sexuality (two out of 5) were made uncomfortable not because of me but because of a warped understanding of male sexuality. Basically, they believed that, as men, they have to be the ones to be sexually adventurous, the ones to be sexually experienced and the ones to be sexually "in charge" in the relationship. So when their partner proved to be as (or more) adventurous than they were it made them question their own sexuality and masculinity. So while I agree that we need to debunk myths about female sexuality, I think a lot of work needs to be done to debunk male sexuality. In other words, those media images where female sexuality is made an accessory to male sexuality is a disservice to both genders.
Mr White Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I honestly think my gf is perfect as far as sexuality is concerned. I'm sure some will call her repressed, but whatever . Specifically, she was a virgin until 24, and had only had 2 quasi-boyfriends prior to me. ("Quasi", because both of these relationships have been extremely short.) So, limited experience, a lot of shyness. This certainly doesn't contradict with the fact that she has opened up quite a bit in bed, and is doing just as good as my ex, who's burned through lots and lots of men. In fact - better, since she'd do things () others (with more experience) wouldn't. She doesn't seem to have to have a high sex drive, but enjoys sex, and has never turned me down. My point being that I agree with Woogle - any woman shouting how sexually liberated she is would send a major red flag. I'd much rather have what I currently have - i.e. a shy woman who did become plenty sexually liberated once in a solid relationship, rather than someone acting like a teenage boy. While it is very nice to have a woman who likes sex (duh ), it is much more important to have a woman who likes you and to have this as the primary reason for having sex rather than sex as such. And, whenever she gets off BC, this obviously won't hurt
dreamingoftigers Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 There are many women who enjoy sex and are 100% faithful but there are also many women who view affairs as part of feminist sexual liberation and they give women with good intentions a bad name. Not into sex is not criteria for a mate but a desire to beat men at out own game is a major red flag. I actually agree with Woggle on a lot of his points. If I were a man, I would be very cautious about a woman who built a relationship based on sexuality. Especially one claiming that it is "A liberating thing." I have learned that sexuality is misused in our society and we are encouraged to use people for our pleasure and give them little regard. It is only getting worse. Women are now catching up to men on a lot of these fronts because they have been "liberated." Societal expectations about female sexuality changed as well, and quite frankly men enjoy having a better casual sex selection. That doesn't mean that their behaviour is actually responsible or justified, it just means they found a new excuse. Sex is supposed to be a connecting act between two people (I haven't always thought that way but the older I get the more important I realize this is. In fact, I have NEVER made love, I have only Fked, even with my husband.) I thought that was the way things were supposed to be. When you build a relationship based on sex, your partner is at least a sex object to you and if problems happen in that area, your relationship is very threatened. One of my friends just left her bf for another guy over sexual issues. She had been with her bf for four years and moved with him to a different continent. The second she met someone that turned her on a little more, she bailed on her bf. She would not listen to any suggestions to try and improve things with her ex-bf in the bedroom, she just wanted out as soon as the f-ing got old. I don't think Woggle claims that men don't cheat. I think he claims that some women have a certain agenda and use whatever excuse to justify their actions. Sure there may be fewer of them then there are men, but they are out there, and not as uncommon as you think. As for his suspicion of his new wife, that doesn't surprise me. I think after being burned so bad you look over your shoulder for quite some time. As a BS I totally understand this. As time goes on and Woggle's wife doesn't betray him he will trust her more. Woggle of course will question for quite some time if he attracted one just like the other one. I am sure Woggle made enough changes in his life before committing to a new wife to make the same mistake twice.
PJKino Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I actually agree with Woggle on a lot of his points. If I were a man, I would be very cautious about a woman who built a relationship based on sexuality. Especially one claiming that it is "A liberating thing." I have learned that sexuality is misused in our society and we are encouraged to use people for our pleasure and give them little regard. It is only getting worse. Women are now catching up to men on a lot of these fronts because they have been "liberated." Societal expectations about female sexuality changed as well, and quite frankly men enjoy having a better casual sex selection. That doesn't mean that their behaviour is actually responsible or justified, it just means they found a new excuse. Sex is supposed to be a connecting act between two people (I haven't always thought that way but the older I get the more important I realize this is. In fact, I have NEVER made love, I have only Fked, even with my husband.) I thought that was the way things were supposed to be. When you build a relationship based on sex, your partner is at least a sex object to you and if problems happen in that area, your relationship is very threatened. One of my friends just left her bf for another guy over sexual issues. She had been with her bf for four years and moved with him to a different continent. The second she met someone that turned her on a little more, she bailed on her bf. She would not listen to any suggestions to try and improve things with her ex-bf in the bedroom, she just wanted out as soon as the f-ing got old. I don't think Woggle claims that men don't cheat. I think he claims that some women have a certain agenda and use whatever excuse to justify their actions. Sure there may be fewer of them then there are men, but they are out there, and not as uncommon as you think. As for his suspicion of his new wife, that doesn't surprise me. I think after being burned so bad you look over your shoulder for quite some time. As a BS I totally understand this. As time goes on and Woggle's wife doesn't betray him he will trust her more. Woggle of course will question for quite some time if he attracted one just like the other one. I am sure Woggle made enough changes in his life before committing to a new wife to make the same mistake twice. I know of three women who just left their partners for new ones because of the bad sex..That's a little scumbagish to me If you really love the guy why not try to work it out and tell him what you like what he can do different etc
Mr White Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I actually agree with Woggle on a lot of his points. If I were a man, I would be very cautious about a woman who built a relationship based on sexuality. Especially one claiming that it is "A liberating thing." I have learned that sexuality is misused in our society and we are encouraged to use people for our pleasure and give them little regard. It is only getting worse. Women are now catching up to men on a lot of these fronts because they have been "liberated." Societal expectations about female sexuality changed as well, and quite frankly men enjoy having a better casual sex selection. That doesn't mean that their behaviour is actually responsible or justified, it just means they found a new excuse. Sex is supposed to be a connecting act between two people (I haven't always thought that way but the older I get the more important I realize this is. In fact, I have NEVER made love, I have only Fked, even with my husband.) I thought that was the way things were supposed to be. When you build a relationship based on sex, your partner is at least a sex object to you and if problems happen in that area, your relationship is very threatened. One of my friends just left her bf for another guy over sexual issues. She had been with her bf for four years and moved with him to a different continent. The second she met someone that turned her on a little more, she bailed on her bf. She would not listen to any suggestions to try and improve things with her ex-bf in the bedroom, she just wanted out as soon as the f-ing got old. I don't think Woggle claims that men don't cheat. I think he claims that some women have a certain agenda and use whatever excuse to justify their actions. Sure there may be fewer of them then there are men, but they are out there, and not as uncommon as you think. As for his suspicion of his new wife, that doesn't surprise me. I think after being burned so bad you look over your shoulder for quite some time. As a BS I totally understand this. As time goes on and Woggle's wife doesn't betray him he will trust her more. Woggle of course will question for quite some time if he attracted one just like the other one. I am sure Woggle made enough changes in his life before committing to a new wife to make the same mistake twice. I meant you,. not him/her . Some men would make the mistake to build the relationship mainly on sex too, however most figure out that this is not sustainable. And the mistrust extends beyond sexuality. I too, have been suscpicious of my gf, for no reason other that she isn't crazy like the ex
dreamingoftigers Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I meant you,. not him/her . Some men would make the mistake to build the relationship mainly on sex too, however most figure out that this is not sustainable. And the mistrust extends beyond sexuality. I too, have been suscpicious of my gf, for no reason other that she isn't crazy like the ex I think a lot of men get snowballed by a woman who builds a relationship based on sex because she's so willing, but after the fun and games wear off the two don't really know each other and the relationship just implodes. I see my friend building another sex-based relationship where she is trying to prove how "cool" and "open" she is, but really the guy and her have no clue who each other are and she's only been seeing him just over a week.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I actually agree with Woggle on a lot of his points. If I were a man, I would be very cautious about a woman who built a relationship based on sexuality. Especially one claiming that it is "A liberating thing." I have learned that sexuality is misused in our society and we are encouraged to use people for our pleasure and give them little regard. It is only getting worse. Women are now catching up to men on a lot of these fronts because they have been "liberated." Societal expectations about female sexuality changed as well, and quite frankly men enjoy having a better casual sex selection. That doesn't mean that their behaviour is actually responsible or justified, it just means they found a new excuse. Sex is supposed to be a connecting act between two people (I haven't always thought that way but the older I get the more important I realize this is. In fact, I have NEVER made love, I have only Fked, even with my husband.) I thought that was the way things were supposed to be. When you build a relationship based on sex, your partner is at least a sex object to you and if problems happen in that area, your relationship is very threatened. One of my friends just left her bf for another guy over sexual issues. She had been with her bf for four years and moved with him to a different continent. The second she met someone that turned her on a little more, she bailed on her bf. She would not listen to any suggestions to try and improve things with her ex-bf in the bedroom, she just wanted out as soon as the f-ing got old. I don't think Woggle claims that men don't cheat. I think he claims that some women have a certain agenda and use whatever excuse to justify their actions. Sure there may be fewer of them then there are men, but they are out there, and not as uncommon as you think. As for his suspicion of his new wife, that doesn't surprise me. I think after being burned so bad you look over your shoulder for quite some time. As a BS I totally understand this. As time goes on and Woggle's wife doesn't betray him he will trust her more. Woggle of course will question for quite some time if he attracted one just like the other one. I am sure Woggle made enough changes in his life before committing to a new wife to make the same mistake twice. Thank you. I am not saying that all women cheat or that no men cheat but the women who usually spout this sexual liberation stuff are the first to cross the line into an affair then go on some feminist tirade when you call her on it. I am all for being with a woman that enjoys sex but not one who views it as an act of feminist defiance.
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