dreamingoftigers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 http://abcnews.go.com/Health/ReproductiveHealth/young-women-desire-sex-low-libido/story?id=10428648 I blame porn its way too easy to acess these days and has made women not care about Men:laugh: It did mention media pressure for young women to be "sex pots." Maybe porn is a factor here, eh?
sally4sara Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 It did mention media pressure for young women to be "sex pots." Maybe porn is a factor here, eh? Do you think it is possible that they feel this way because they have yet to define their own sexuality making them view their own role in sex to be determined by the man they are dealing with? I have often found myself asking female friends why they care so much about living up a guy's standards while not so closely examining if the guy lives up to their standards or if he is accepting of who she is.
dreamingoftigers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Do you think it is possible that they feel this way because they have yet to define their own sexuality making them view their own role in sex to be determined by the man they are dealing with? I have often found myself asking female friends why they care so much about living up a guy's standards while not so closely examining if the guy lives up to their standards or if he is accepting of who she is. Often, yes. Girls at an impressionable age are exposed to TONS of pressure to fit into a certain mould. But not much encouragement to self-explore their own beliefs and feelings about sexuality. I would say that personally my own ideas and beliefs were still being shaped into my mid-twenties.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 (edited) There's a lot more media and advertising out there revolving around men's sexual ideals and appetites than women's, so young women tend to try to fit that mold. (And this makes sense from the profit-making standpoint. Make women feel they are not enough, and you will get them endlessly consuming those companies' useless products.) It's only very recently that we've begun to see any sort of realistic, non-stereotyped media representation or role models of women who are in touch with their sexuality, love sex, and are assertive enough to make sure they get their sexual desires fulfilled. And these are still controversial! It's ridiculous how resistant most people are to opening their minds and learning. It still surprises me to read and hear about how many women approach sex in a very male-slanted way. From when I first starting having sex, it made sense to me to vocalize my particular desires and invest as much effort into making sure they were fulfilled as I did in fulfilling my partners'. It's give and take. And no one's going to respect or be stimulated for very long by a lap dog / blow-up doll. Edited May 1, 2010 by Ruby Slippers
kdark Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 This is an excellent point. I have had a relationship with only ONE MAN who truly had next to no hangups about sex and did not judge me or any other woman for enjoying sex. One of the girls I hang out with was terrified that I was going to judge her for enjoying sex as much as she does. Is it really that rare to find a guy who doesn't judge anyone for the amount of sex a woman enjoys? I really, really enjoy sex. It would seem very hypocritical of me to look down upon a woman who enjoys sex as well. To me, a guy who sleeps around a lot but is only sleeping with women who don't enjoy sex/haven't been with many partners is a predator looking for vulnerable prey.
janie423 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 One of the girls I hang out with was terrified that I was going to judge her for enjoying sex as much as she does. Is it really that rare to find a guy who doesn't judge anyone for the amount of sex a woman enjoys? Yes it is rare. Like Ruby Slippers, I have known one man that fully accepted a woman's sexuality in all it's depth and dimension. Most of them in my experience have a shallow understanding and certainly very little compassion regarding a woman's capabilities in that area. I find that men inhibit women far more than the other way around.
Author AD1980 Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 Yes it is rare. Like Ruby Slippers, I have known one man that fully accepted a woman's sexuality in all it's depth and dimension. Most of them in my experience have a shallow understanding and certainly very little compassion regarding a woman's capabilities in that area. I find that men inhibit women far more than the other way around. JS made it seem like porn has forced women get out of just the missionary position and try new things which they dread in her opinion..
dreamingoftigers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 JS made it seem like porn has forced women get out of just the missionary position and try new things which they dread in her opinion.. My experience with it has been quite the opposite, if I were one of the repressed women who didn't like sex, then porn would have given me quite the break. To think, I could feel very relaxed right now instead of being sexually frustrated and not having my needs met.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Is it really that rare to find a guy who doesn't judge anyone for the amount of sex a woman enjoys? You might be amazed. One of my exes accused me of being a sex addict... because I wanted to have sex daily. A completely ridiculous accusation, but it was hurtful to me at the time, when I was around 25. If a man said something so stupid to me now, I would tell him that clearly he's not a potent enough drug to satisfy my addiction, and should get lost.
kdark Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 JS made it seem like porn has forced women get out of just the missionary position and try new things which they dread in her opinion.. Oh god. Not the porn again. Can we please leave it out this one thread? I'm begging you...
dreamingoftigers Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 Oh god. Not the porn again. Can we please leave it out this one thread? I'm begging you... He started this thread to make fun of the other threads about porn. Let's all agree to leave it out of this thread.
kdark Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 You might be amazed. One of my exes accused me of being a sex addict... because I wanted to have sex daily. A completely ridiculous accusation, but it was hurtful to me at the time, when I was around 25. If a man said something so stupid to me now, I would tell him that clearly he's not a potent enough drug to satisfy my addiction, and should get lost. I always love it when things start getting hot and heavy with a girl I'm dating, and then they stop for a second... Me: "What's wrong?" Her: "Well..." Me: "It's ok, you can tell me." Her: "It's just... Well I don't want to sound like a slut, but I really, REALLY enjoy sex. It's probably one of my favorite things to do." Me: (Laughing on the inside) "Mine too!" This has happened with almost every girl I have dated. It's like a girl has to confess to me that yes, she is a red blooded human being who enjoys the act of mating. Like this is something to be ashamed of. It's freakin' asinine.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 This has happened with almost every girl I have dated. It's like a girl has to confess to me that yes, she is a red blooded human being who enjoys the act of mating. Like this is something to be ashamed of. It's freakin' asinine. I am not at all surprised. You know what, though? Enjoy it. Because if you let a woman be unabashedly sexual and sensual and wildcat and even down and dirty slutty with you, and you don't punish her for it with any judgment, you will get her best and no matter what, she will NOT soon forget her time with you.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I know this sounds sexist but these so called sexually free women are the ones that are the first to cheat on you and then justify so men have good reason for not wanting their gf to be one of these types. Get mad at me all you want but from what I have seen it is true.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I know this sounds sexist but these so called sexually free women are the ones that are the first to cheat on you and then justify so men have good reason for not wanting their gf to be one of these types. Get mad at me all you want but from what I have seen it is true. I have a very healthy and exploratory sexual appetite but have never come close to cheating, and I've spent most of my adult life in relationships. When I love a man, I only desire him more over time, and I just want to keep trying new, fun things and kicking up the passion.
Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I have a very healthy and exploratory sexual appetite but have never come close to cheating, and I've spent most of my adult life in relationships. When I love a man, I only desire him more over time, and I just want to keep trying new, fun things and kicking up the passion. You are one the rare ones then. I know many cheaters who view the cheating in and of itself as part of exploring their sexuality and liberating themselves. My ex viewed cheating as spreading her wings.
SouthernSunshine Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I want it all the time! I've realized though, that I don't need another person to fill my needs. I can do just fine by myself... Although it's much more pleasing when I share it with another.
janie423 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I know this sounds sexist but these so called sexually free women are the ones that are the first to cheat on you and then justify so men have good reason for not wanting their gf to be one of these types. Get mad at me all you want but from what I have seen it is true. Case in point . . . and there it is. It's beyond sexist. Like I said, men inhibit women, judge women, chastise women. These "types"? . . . yikes. And if they do in fact cheat, maybe it's because the men cannot keep up with them
Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Case in point . . . and there it is. It's beyond sexist. Like I said, men inhibit women, judge women, chastise women. These "types"? . . . yikes. I speak from experience. The sexually free thing falls under a larger umbrella which pretty much advocates women betraying men. Have you known any men who encouraged this quality in a woman and actually had a happy and long lasting relationship with her?
janie423 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I speak from experience. The sexually free thing falls under a larger umbrella which pretty much advocates women betraying men. Have you known any men who encouraged this quality in a woman and actually had a happy and long lasting relationship with her? and what quality is that? enjoying sex? not all women who cheat enjoy sex. not all women who enjoy sex cheat. so you are discouraging women from enjoying for the sake of a "lasting relationship?" good luck with that. no one would have to cheat if the sex was good. no one is encouraging promiscuity here. promiscuity and enjoying sex do not always occur together.
kdark Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 Case in point . . . and there it is. It's beyond sexist. Like I said, men inhibit women, judge women, chastise women. These "types"? . . . yikes. And if they do in fact cheat, maybe it's because the men cannot keep up with them If you can't keep someone sexually satisfied, they are going to want to leave you, regardless of whether it's a guy or a girl.
janie423 Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 If you can't keep someone sexually satisfied, they are going to want to leave you, regardless of whether it's a guy or a girl. agree with this . . .
kdark Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I speak from experience. The sexually free thing falls under a larger umbrella which pretty much advocates women betraying men. Have you known any men who encouraged this quality in a woman and actually had a happy and long lasting relationship with her? It sounds like you a thing against feminism in general. I dated a feminist for a year, and encouraged her to be as sexually free as she wanted, and I had zero problems with monogomy. But if you're talking marriage, I have no experience. If I get married, I plan on encouraging her sexuality, so I'll let you know how it goes...
Woggle Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 It sounds like you a thing against feminism in general. I dated a feminist for a year, and encouraged her to be as sexually free as she wanted, and I had zero problems with monogomy. But if you're talking marriage, I have no experience. If I get married, I plan on encouraging her sexuality, so I'll let you know how it goes... I have nothing against the classic definition of feminism but women who call themselves feminists usually hate you and me.
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