Entitled Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Hey everyone, this is my first post. I came here because I need some help and advice. To tell you about myself, im 18 years old, almost 19. Ive been out of school for almost a year, I've taken a year off to work and save some money up etc. Last year in January I broke up with this girl, and I was really depressed after that, I was really hurt. A couple months later I met this new girl, and I fell for her. We both had an instant connection with one another. 1 month after knowing eachother we began to date, March 6th 2009, as of yesterday April 29th 2010, we have broken up. Before the breakup everything was going great, we would have our little arguments and such, but what couple doesn't? Anyways, I took this job in march, and it started out fine, but when April came around, I began to really stress myself about it, my ex began to feel distant from me and she began to go through some rough times. But, she never told me, she never told me how she was feeling, she didnt say a word, not until last week, when we began to argue about it and everything just started to crumble down. She tells me I hurt her a lot, that I wasn't there for her, she met this guy at school, only known him for a month and she said he was there for her, it really broke my heart when she told me that she liked him. I was crushed. Anyways, I felt like she was compairing our 1 year relationship to this 1 month friendship. I have sacrificed so much for her, I've been there every single time she has called for me, wether it was help with homework, problems at home, problems at school, you name it. Everything she has asked me to come to I've been there before anyone. I quit my job this week, I told her that I was there for her now and that nothing was in my way. I apologized to her countless times, I've sobbed in front of her asking for forgiveness, I have done every thing I can. She told me she needed time to think about things, and that she can't forgive me yet because she is too hurt. She wants to take a break to see what she really wants. I lied to her, I put on a fake smile and agreed, I said sure, lets be best friends for now. When in reality It felt like everything was just taken from me. I fear that she doesn't love me anymore and that she likes this new guy a lot, and I think hes trying to break me and her up. Should I wait for her to come to a descision, should I wait for her? Or should I begin to move on, I really don't want to, but I'm in a lot of pain right now and don't know where to turn to. I haven't eaten much, i've stayed up all night thinking about it, I just can't seem to get through this. Please help me and give me some advice. Thank you.
heartmonster Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Im sorry this happened to you and im sorry you are hurt:( breakups like this happen all the time. It is a good thing that she told you she wanted to split before she did something worse like cheat on you., and then you would have really felt like ****. My advice is dont push her.,. the best thing for you to do now is give her space,.. try your best either to not contact her at all or contact her as little as possible,. .. make her miss you. Keep yourself busy,. workout or play instruments whatever you are into. and just give yourself time to heal,. the first few weeks will be hard but after that you will be okay:) she will either come back ( although u shouldnt count on it) or you will find someone new,,. and forget this ever hurt you,
Author Entitled Posted May 1, 2010 Author Posted May 1, 2010 I'm trying my hardest to keep myself occupied, it's just so hard. I start doing something, and I feel good about myself, but then I start thinking, once I start I can't stop, then I sink into a big slump, and get depressed and I wont do anything after that. I'm trying my best to not talk to her as much. But you're right, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I need to get back on my feet and move on. I just hope I can...
jenifer1972 Posted May 1, 2010 Posted May 1, 2010 You need to give yourself permission to be a mess for a couple of weeks and not feel you have to 'pull yourself up by the bootstraps' right away. But don't beg or act or sound too desperate to her. That never works if there is any hope of someone coming back. If it doesn't end up working out, try to ascertain why, from her perspective, she felt you 'hurt her a lot', and try not to repeat the same mistakes, which we all tend to do if we don't gain insight from our breakups. Good luck.
Recommended Posts