Bigbopper Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Ok. Need to post on here, cos I need some support. I have been with my (now ex) on and off for 7 years. We have always had a tubulent relationship and we have a nearly 5 year old son. Time and time again we have broke up and tried again, the worst of which was last year when I went with someone else. She threw me out of course, and I spent 5 months living elsewhere, before we agreed to give it a final shot. Neither of us were 100% but the idea of the family living together meant so much to us, and I subsequently proposed. She said yes, we got engaged and then within a month the turbulence started again, mainly because of the lack of trust. We had a huge row and she asked me to leave for a couple of nights. During this time I thought and thought about the good times and bad times, and realised that we are much better parents when we are not together. I went back to see her last night, to collect a few things, to discuss money etc, and she begged me not to leave, saying she would change, we could work, etc, and for the first time in 7 years I listened to my head, not my heart, and walked out the door. I know I have broken her heart but still feel its for the best. But now I cant live with myself. I feel cruel and evil, heartless, cold, and angry for not giving in. What do I do? Of course I miss them both terribly and am excited about seeing my son, but why I am made out to be the bad guy? When she is angry she says the most horrible things, about me dying, she doesnt love me etc, and I cant forget that. Please help.
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