What do you do when you start to freeze up or find yourself in an awkward silence?

[Don'tWannabeAWannabe]

If you're talking to a girl and you feel yourself freezing up, running out of things to say or in the midst of an awkward silence? I'm always afraid that just standing around twiddling my thumb will make me look like a fool so in those situations I've panicked and parted ways.

[TheBigQuestion]

Make an observation about your environment. Anything.

 

Also, a few seconds of silence is not as awkward as you may think.

[usernamedbadly]

DONT say 'well this is awkward'!! Even like in a light hearted way!! Never works out well. Just gives her a chance to say 'er yeh.. i'm gonna just go..'

 

Ask her about, well, her!! Im at uni so most other people i meet are students and there's always the back up 'what are you studying?/enjoying it?/what do you want to do after uni?/where you originally from?' etc. I find if you ask her questions about her it shows your interested in her and also forces her to provide a lot of the material! Hopefully conversation should eventually just start flowing.

 

(If you're feeling cheesy and in a bar, get an ice cube, break it and say "now i've cracked the ice we can talk comfortably". But be warned. Its never worked!)

[alphamale]

If you're talking to a girl and you feel yourself freezing up' date=' running out of things to say or in the midst of an awkward silence? [/quote']

i talk about something in the surroundings

[phineas]

If it looks like i'm going to have to carry both sides of the conversation I bail & find a woman that is interesting to talk to.

[EasyHeart]

Never let yourself get to that point.

 

"Always leave them wanting more."

[USMCHokie]

This is where situational conversation skills come into play...creating a conversation based on what is going on around you...

[alphamale]

This is where situational conversation skills come into play...creating a conversation based on what is going on around you...

indeed .

[Eeyore79]

Tell her to give you her hand a second... tell her to hold it like this... then start a thumb war. I guarantee she'll be laughing and giggling within seconds. If you cheat to win she'll laugh even more.

 

As well as that, you could have a few stories prepared in your head, stories which demonstrate what a great guy you are. Something about cute animals, or taking care of a young relative, or about a holiday you went on... something that makes you look sensitive or well travelled etc. There's no shame in having a few canned stories to wheel out when you get stuck.

 

Ask her what she has going for her besides her looks

[spookie]

i giggle nervously. then i ask a question and act like its really important to me to find out the answer to it.

[Citizen Erased]

Tell you what, I love when I come across someone that you don't require ongoing conversation every single second to feel like you're having a good time with them.

 

If in doubt, add alcohol. But not too much.

[Kamille]

All of the above and a tip from someone who does research interviews for a living (and uses it in real life with great results) and has studies conversation.

 

Silence can be your friend.

 

Let the silence sit a little. This gives her a chance to come up with a conversation topic and it helps to balance out the conversation (so that it isn't one person leading the conversation all the time). People usually need 8-12 seconds to come up with a topic when the conversation comes to a lull. (Counting on the basis one one thousand 2 one thousand 3 one thousand 4 one thousand 5... It's longer then feels comfortable when someone's nervous) If person X has been in charge of the conversation thus far, person Y needs time to gather their thoughts and come up with something.

 

While you wait, sit comfortably.

 

If they don't come up with something, try any of the above.

[Left in a Lurch]

I say, "Soooooo, you wanna see it?"

[D-Lish]

I say, "Soooooo, you wanna see it?"

 

Lol:p That's pretty funny:lmao:

[hopesndreams]

I say, "Soooooo, you wanna see it?"

 

See what?

[mammax3]

If she's an active participant, ie - not only giving one or two word answers, then listen to what she says; there are many clues which people give that can spur more conversational topics.

 

Picking up on a thread of something she's mentioned and asking more questions about it, and including some relevant info about you can encourage her to ask similar questions. Peppering the convo with personal anecdotes, experiences or facts about the topic as well as questions will make it feel less like 20 questions which can cause uneasiness and an icky feeling like you're collecting info to write a book. That ickiness can make people clam up and create anxiety in [you] to scramble for more topics to ask questions about, which perpetuates the cycle.

 

Another poster said to focus on her, I interpret that to mean not more questions but to forget about your uneasiness and really attend to what she's saying to find the topics that you have in common, or to discover something you don't know about so you can have a genuine interest. Thinking "what am I gonna ask next" makes you focus on you, and you may miss hearing something that you have a genuine interest in.

 

mx3

[Toki]

Sometimes you don't need to say anything, I've never been good with small talk, and the woman I'm with is the same way. When we do talk, we have very deep, long discussions, but sometimes we find it more awkward to talk about the weather, or some such nonsense, because it really has nothing to do with anything, conversation can get to a point where it just becomes noise.

[tami-chan]

Say something about her hair, her jewelry, her clothes..something...

 

"Is that sapphire? is that you birth stone?"

 

"the green shirt your wearing compliments the color of your eyes"

 

Okay, I give up...those things are lame...