Quest Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Started seeing this guy and it was going really well - I thought. We exchanged a lot of emails and texts, all very loving and spent a lot of time together. But he's suddenly stopped contacting me and started making excuses for meeting up. He did go through with something we'd already arranged but since then - nothing at all. I've not tried to contact him because it was me who last made contact. I guess I just have to take it he's suddenly lost interest? His last few contacts were cooler than they had been but when we met up it was good - I thought. We'd made quite a lot of plans and it was relaxed and fun, there was a lot of attraction on both sides, and then suddenly this ... Do I just take it he's finished with me and move on?
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Do I just take it he's finished with me and move on? Yes. If his behavior changes that drastically, then something's up...and I have a feeling that he's too much of a chicken sh*t to end it with you properly and respectfully...I personally would move on...
Author Quest Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Thanks. Another one bites the dust ... Strange thing is I didn't get notifications in my email that he had sent his last two Facebook messages ... I get notifications of everyone else who messages me through Facebook and used to from him but suddenly the notifications of his messages stopped .... Is that some kind of blocking thing? Can only think he wants to see someone else in which case I wish he'd just said so, or contacted me to cool it off. It's not as if we didn't get on or had argued or anything.
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Can only think he wants to see someone else in which case I wish he'd just said so, or contacted me to cool it off. It's not as if we didn't get on or had argued or anything. I wouldn't read too much into the Facebook thing. Sometimes there's a disconnect between the notification system and the emails to your email address. Happens to me all the time. But again, your concern quoted above just goes to show how much of a chicken sh*t he is to pull the disappearing act without the courtesy of at least a "good day"...but I'm sorry that it happened... Ah, I love that phrase...chicken sh*t...heheheh...
D-Lish Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 If he's pulling the distant act, just delete his number from your phone and don't contact him anymore. If you delete his number, you won't be tempted to reach out in a moment of weakness. He doesn't deserve your contact. Good thing you found out he's a dick sooner rather than later.
2sunny Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 and delete him from your FB page too - set your settings to private so he can't check up on you. he met someone else he's spending time with. don't take it personally, sometimes men just keep all their options open.
Author Quest Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Thanks. About to delete his numbers but was thinking if I blocked him on Facebook it might looked like I gave a damn ... well, I do, but if he's such a jerk ... Hmm, not sure on that one ...? Reading over his messages and texts isn't good as they are all nice and fun which makes me wonder what the problem is ... but I think you are right 2Sunny ... there's someone else around. (Notice he did get cooler after meeting up with a female 'friend'.) Anyway, I'm going to have a good weekend, without him!
D-Lish Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Thanks. About to delete his numbers but was thinking if I blocked him on Facebook it might looked like I gave a damn ... well, I do, but if he's such a jerk ... Hmm, not sure on that one ...? Reading over his messages and texts isn't good as they are all nice and fun which makes me wonder what the problem is ... but I think you are right 2Sunny ... there's someone else around. (Notice he did get cooler after meeting up with a female 'friend'.) Anyway, I'm going to have a good weekend, without him! My view is that if he's not treating you with respect, why have him as a friend on facebook. Why torment yourself looking at his status or reading his updates. I'd just delete him and put this to rest.
Author Quest Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Yep. You're right, D-Lish. Will do that too. Time to get moving ....
D-Lish Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Yep. You're right, D-Lish. Will do that too. Time to get moving .... That's a positive attitude. Go out and have fun this weekend.
Author Quest Posted May 10, 2010 Author Posted May 10, 2010 So I deleted his numbers etc and he emailed, so I emailed back saying I was surprised to hear from him because he'd not been in touch much etc. Seemed there was a misunderstanding so we talked about it and then spent a good weekend together. This weekend we also had a good weekend but then he was all quiet and I asked about it. He said it was just work on his mind. The next morning he was cold and silent and didn't want to talk about anything. He then said it was over as he couldn't take things anymore - it was lovely but it wasn't working. I stood my ground and he said he'd continue things ... but now, nothing. No calls, texts or emails. I've not contacted him. We were planning things - again - and meeting each other's friends and family. All I can think is he wanted out but then didn't have the heart to go through with it when I got upset. So he's dropping me now ... by not getting in touch. What the hell is going on? And what should I do? I got it wrong the last time but this time it seems he really has ended it.
KB929 Posted May 10, 2010 Posted May 10, 2010 It almost seems to me like the email he sent and the time you spent together the "second time around" was maybe him trying to make sure how he felt about you/your relationship. Perhaps he decided that he didn't have those feelings and gave in when you stood your ground. Wouldn't life (and dating) be so much easier if people just said what they were feeling/thinking instead of wussing out and prolonging the inevitable? I think a lot of times guys "don't want to hurt our feelings", but I know for me, personally, I say "just tell me...I'm a big girl...I can take it!" I would maybe just come right out and ask him..."do you want to continue seeing me or not?!? If not, then please don't contact me again" And for you, don't answer his email!
Author Quest Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 (edited) Thanks for that. Think you are probably right about him changing his mind because he was feeling bad. I guess I just have to listen to the deafening silence and accept it! Edited May 11, 2010 by Quest
Author Quest Posted May 11, 2010 Author Posted May 11, 2010 So, no phonecalls ... nothing. Clear he doesn't want to be in touch. But what I'm struggling with is the pain of everything he said and did until a few days ago. He pushed really hard for us to make plans and was talking a lot about the future ... when I said how can you be like that and then just end it he said, "It's lovely but ..." and then "It looks great up top but the supporting structure isn't good" WTF? We definitely had fun and chemistry but he just suddenly went cold. How do I get through this?
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