Would he ask me out just for satisfaction of getting me to say "yes"?

[pillowtalk]

I was asked out last week by a man I work with. We have been flirting for weeks, and he finally asked me if I'd like to go get a drink with him after work that coming Friday (2 days later). Since I wasn't working Friday, he got my phone number and told me (twice) that he would call me Friday. I didn't hear from him until after 7pm that night when he called to cancel because he said he unexpectedly worked a 12-hour day and was too tired. He said he was sorry and that we should still go get that drink some time.

 

Well, I'm smart enough to know I was being rejected (for whatever reason) and chances are slim we will EVER go out for that drink. He's obviously not that into me. But here's my question... why did he ask me out in the first place two days earlier? Could it just have been for the satisfaction of getting me to say "yes"?

 

Thanks...

[EasyHeart]

My guess is that he worked a 12 hour day and was exhausted, so he'd rather cancel the first date than show up exhausted and make a bad impression. I have done the same thing before. It would have been nice to get more notice, but I don't think he was rejecting you. I'll bet he calls to reschedule.

[pillowtalk]

My guess is that he worked a 12 hour day and was exhausted, so he'd rather cancel the first date than show up exhausted and make a bad impression. I have done the same thing before. It would have been nice to get more notice, but I don't think he was rejecting you. I'll bet he calls to reschedule.

 

Thanks. As much as I'd love to think that (believe me), he didn't suggest when we might reschedule, and I haven't heard from him for a week. So strange to me when there was such great energy between us last week. But, my gut tells me he had second thoughts. I will do my best to be open-minded, though.

[Peter Attis]

I don't know, but I'd totally ask out a girl just to hear her say yes.

[LucreziaBorgia]

"Getting a drink" is not a date.

 

He did the vague "lets get drinks" thing and was planning on calling you late on the day of, and ended up blowing you off and didn't mention it again. That wasn't a guy lining up a date. That says "maybe this will lead to sex" or "backup plan" to me.

 

My guess is that he has a few lines out in the water so to speak and is focusing on one of those instead.

[EasyHeart]

In my mind, "getting a drink" is a classic first date. If things go well, you suggest you get some dinner; if they don't, you finish your drink and say good-bye.

 

But not calling for a week sounds odd. He may have started seeing someone else. Or maybe he chickened out because you work together (I would never date someone I work with). My first post may have been wrong. After a week, you should probably write him off.

[alphamale]

Could it just have been for the satisfaction of getting me to say "yes"?

could have been, some dudes like to collect numbers....or he could have gotten nervous

[pillowtalk]

But not calling for a week sounds odd. He may have started seeing someone else. Or maybe he chickened out because you work together (I would never date someone I work with). My first post may have been wrong. After a week, you should probably write him off.

 

I suspect he is seeing someone else. When we were together in the field a couple of weeks ago he took a cell phone call and walked out of my hearing range to talk. When it rang again a few minutes later (and he was with me) he didn't answer it. I really can't think of many other reasons why he would do that.

 

And, yes, bad idea to date someone I work with - that's already becoming apparent (and we haven't even made it out on the first date)! I will tell him I'm okay with NOT going out for that drink (I don't want to leave this open-ended), and try to get things out of the awkward zone. We work well together, and I'd really hate to see that change. Not to mention, the stuff we work on is very important to me and I need his cooperation.

[alphamale]

And, yes, bad idea to date someone I work with -

indeed .