I still love him and it is going to be sooooo hard to let him go.

[Ophelia Rue]

Terribly sorry for ranting.

 

Ryan and I have been dating a year and a half. This entire relationship has had me walking on eggshells, afraid I'd say or do something WRONG. I even have a schedule to when I see him...Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday...so I don't see him TOO much so he won't get sick of me or think I'm "clingy". I don't pick fights or tell him if anything is wrong. We've never had a real fight and it's because of me...I've become a doormat.

 

It took him 3 months to actually call me his girlfriend, and I started telling him I loved him after a year, and he says it back but NEVER ever says it first.

 

About a month ago is when it REALLY occurred to me that he didn't give a crap about me.

 

One particular Saturday night, I started getting absolutely EPIC cramps and this horrible feeling on the right side of my stomach. It hurt so bad it made me cry, and Ryan ignored me and told me he "wasn't used to girls crying in his bed".

 

I found out the reason I was getting these pains was because I was pregnant, and in the midst of deciding what to do, and after I got the ultrasound, I found out it was a tubal, or "ectopic" pregnancy. I told Ryan about it, and he didn't seem to care. I went in for my abortion about a week after.

 

I was sitting in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood the day of, absolutely scared out of my mind. I could barely sleep or eat the entire week, I was so nervous. As I looked around the waiting room, I saw three other girls, for the most part, looking equally nervous. I don't know what they were there for, but ALL THREE of them had their significant other sitting next to them. I was all alone, for all three appointments.

 

While "it" was happening, I got a text from Ryan that asked how I was doing. Since then, that is the only time he has ever brought it up. He's never asked how I was feeling or if I needed anything. The whole procedure was $600, and he threw me $150.

 

That really put the icing on the cake.

 

Last night, I texted him with my usual "Love you and miss you" and I got an AWESOME "Lots of love for you" in return. Then today, I texted "love you" and received an EQUALLY AWESOME "Luv you".

 

Clearly, he does not love me.

 

I am sick with sadness at having to break up with him. He works with me, so it will be really hard to see him every day. I wish I would have never started this relationship, it has been nothing but heartache for me ever since.

 

Do I sound like a crazy person for wanting this relationship to be over? How would you guys have felt about your significant others treating you so immaturely during the abortion??

 

I just want to find someone who I can love, who will love me back equally. I'm a really good person. I deserve someone who will love me and not cheat on me or make me feel like crap, don't I?

 

Have you guys ever broken up with someone that you love?? I'm trying really hard.

[Eeyore79]

I would suggest that you talk this through with him and tell him how you're feeling. Maybe he was really freaked out by the whole abortion thing... and yes, he wasn't there for you like he should have been, but maybe he was having a really hard time with it. If you love him, I think you should at least give him a chance to discuss these issues.

 

Maybe he genuinely cares about you but struggles to show emotion? My father is like that; he loves my mother but he has no idea how to react when she is hurt or sad so he just withdraws, and he has no idea how to express his love, even towards me.

 

Your bf should have given you half of the abortion cost though

[shadowplay]

OMG. I was horrified reading this because it reminded me of how ****ty some guys can be when it comes to abortions/unplanned pregnancies. I would definitely kick him to the curb.

[aerogurl87]

I'm with shadowplay, kick him to the curb and find someone who will value you and love you as much as you love them in return. Once you become a doormat to someone it's hard to be anything else in their eyes.

[demi89]

I think you are doing the right thing by breaking up with him, you should try and talk to him first though, and see what he has to say for himself, give him a chance to explain.. and if its pathetic and he still doesnt care, then you are better off! I have broken up with someone i loved, it was really hard but im so glad i did it because i have met someone else that treats me right and makes me so happy! and you will too in time!

[D-Lish]

Yes, you are absolutely doing the right thing by leaving him. You can measure someone's character by how they respond to you in a crisis. This guy proved to you he's an inconsiderate jerk. No one should have to go through something like you did alone.