craw Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 We've been barely dating 6 months, yes I'm smitten. After long talks with mother, she warns me NOT to be so available for him all the time. Any advice? you would think the obvious would apply, but sometimes logic goes straight out the window...
USMCHokie Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Having and living your own life outside of the relationship = less clingy.
Eeyore79 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Maybe you just need a guy who likes clinginess? I have dated guys who were very emotionally distant and needed a lot of space, and I didn't like it much. I preferred the guys who talked to me every day, spent time with me, told me they loved me. People have different emotional styles, so you should think carefully about becoming seriously involved with someone whose emotional style doesn't match your own. I tend to be as clingy as I want to be, and if it drives the guy away then he obviously wasn't right for me anyway. The right guy actually likes that I text him every day and call to say goodnight etc. When a guy is clingy with me I like it, and if he isn't somewhat clingy then I feel unloved and stressed out - so if a guy were to try being less clingy with me, he would actually put me off him! If you want to be less clingy, then try to get involved with other things that take your mind off him; hobbies, friends, whatever. But six months is a reasonable length of time tbh; I'd expect you to be pretty close after six months.
dazzle22 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 We've been barely dating 6 months, yes I'm smitten. After long talks with mother, she warns me NOT to be so available for him all the time. Any advice? you would think the obvious would apply, but sometimes logic goes straight out the window... Logic goes totally out the window when you are deeply in love. Being in love is really an irrational state. (fabulous, but not rational). I guess a problem would only develop if your beloved felt crowded or did not reciprocate with the same degree of availability. I am totally addicted to my husband. It is totally ridiculous actually, but it is a great feeling, and fortunately, he is pretty besotted with me too. :laugh:But sometimes I do feel I should tone it down, because you never want someone to take you totally for granted.
CarrieT Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Any advice? you would think the obvious would apply, but sometimes logic goes straight out the window... I'm assuming you have some other friends? Make some plans to do something with them alone on a weekend that does not include the new beau. Do that every other week or so.
skydiveaddict Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 We've been barely dating 6 months, yes I'm smitten. After long talks with mother, she warns me NOT to be so available for him all the time. Any advice? you would think the obvious would apply, but sometimes logic goes straight out the window... being clingy is much less dangerous for a girl. just be yourself and do some things on your own. Might I suggest jumping out of airplanes
Author craw Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Thanks for the awesome advice. Turns out I ended up going out to see some friends tonight. Will definitely make sure this weekend, I will not spend it with him. I think it just didn't help that as I toned down my partying/socialising was around the same time we started becoming involved with one another. TBH, I have been becoming tiresome of all my friends. That will change, force myself to schedule seeing them. Thanks once again! chokie: im guessing i just don't know how to right now. dazzle: I know exactly what you're talking! I've had my first love, which is why I am so hesitant. Eeyore: you bring up a good point, but am nowhere near ready to admit he's not the one for me due to him not being as clingy as I am. My sister told me I need to relax, enjoy myself not take it so seriously. technically, we've been dating for approx 4 months. CarrieT: every other week? /whineeeeeee : ( okk skydive: actually he's taking me to go skydiving sometime this summer!
taylor13 Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 It's hard to hide clingy when you feel clingy. Yeah you can pretend for a while but it's going to come out eventually. The best advice is not to feel clingy. Easy! Right? I think that's like telling a depressed person not to feel sad. From personal experience, my best advice is not let yourself think about a person too much in the beginning of a relationship. When you are together ENJOY the time and be yourself. When you're NOT together, don't go around day dreaming about your wonderful budding relationship. It's the thinking and over analyzing that leads to clingy. When the relationship matures to a level where the affection is mutual, you don't have to feel bad about expressing your love and therefor "clingy" isn't even an issue. I know it's difficult. I've been guilty of this. My two younger sisters are the worst. I tell them if you are prone to being clingy then you have to start practicing self-discipline or else you're going to ruin future relationships.
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