Eeyore79 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 I met a guy who seems decent and nice, and we've spent a little bit of time together. He sent me a box of chocolates in the mail because I happened to mention I really like that sort. I thought it was just a nice gesture to make me happy, I thought he must be a really nice guy. I told my friend what he did, and she was like "Uh-oh!" Basically she thinks that him sending a gift means he doesn't really like me and just wants to get in my panties. She said that a decent guy would just wait and let me grow to like him over time, and this guy is trying to ingratiate himself really quickly so he can lay me. I'm kind of confused, because I just thought it was a nice gesture from a nice guy, but maybe I'm just a sucker? Does sending candy indicate that he's trying to buy me? Or is he genuinely trying to be a nice guy?
Yamaha Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 A nice guy will try to buy a gal. You need to find out if he's interested in you (not just in your panties).
Bejita463 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Heh, people have such strange logic sometimes. "What!? He's not being a douche? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" I smell jealousy.
Left in a Lurch Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 All guys that like you want to get in your pants. Nice guys, jerks, anyone that likes you, wants to get in your pants. The guy of your dreams that you eventually marry, when he first meets you, will want to get in your pants. Anyone that denies this is lying just so they don't blow their chance to get in your pants. The key is if that is his only goal and giving a box of chocolates does not indicate either way. In fact if I just want to sleep with somebody giving a box of chocolates in the mail would not be on my list. If anything it shows he listened to what you said and took an interest.
Author Eeyore79 Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Obviously I know he wants to get in my panties at some point! But there's a difference between genuinely liking me as a person and wanting to get in my panties in the context of a long term relationship, and just wanting to get in my panties to get his rocks off and then never see me again. My friend thinks this guy is obviously trying to buy his way into my panties as fast as possible and then he'll ditch me, whereas I thought his gift indicated that he was a nice guy who listened to what I said and wanted to make me happy, and possibly have a relationship not just sex. As Chat Room Hero said, the key is whether getting in my panties is his only goal or not, and that's what I'm trying to figure out. Is he trying to buy his way into my panties, or into my heart?
i'mfaraway Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Heh, people have such strange logic sometimes. "What!? He's not being a douche? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" I smell jealousy. I agree. OP, basically I think you should see for yourself whether this guy wants to get into your panties or genuinely like you for you. Only you can tell by perhaps meeting up with him a few more times.
Left in a Lurch Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 As Chat Room Hero said, the key is whether getting in my panties is his only goal or not, and that's what I'm trying to figure out. Is he trying to buy his way into my panties, or into my heart? You will never be able to tell just based on him buying you a box of chocolates. His actions over time will tell you, to judge him either way on one minor act is pointless.
Author Eeyore79 Posted April 30, 2010 Author Posted April 30, 2010 Ok, so what am I looking for in the longer term to demonstrate one way or the other whether he likes me and wants a relationship, or just wants sex? I hate having to ask, but I've been taken in so many times by players who I thought were decent guys who wanted a relationship with me. Am I looking for stuff like texting and emailing every day, not trying to go too far too soon, taking me out for dates, etc? Anything else?
Left in a Lurch Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 You can't. There is no real indicator of what someone's intentions are, you just have to play it out. It's the same as when a woman goes out to a couple of dinners or drinks with you and you later find out she was never interested, just bored- they act the same either way and you just have to take a chance and let it play out.
Art_Critic Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Your friend is wrong ..mostly.. he likes you and is acting genuine. but he also wants to get in your panties.. it just isn't the only thing he is after Isn't that what you want ? Who wants to date a guy that doesn't want to bang you...
Phantom9309 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 I'm not sure we should assess it as genuine quite yet. It's still too early to tell. Unfortunately, I think you'll want to play a little hard to get and see how he reacts. This will probably do a few things. He might become super insecure and ramp up the gift giving and maybe even become clingy/needy. If it's too much for you then get out while you can. Or maybe he is mature and interested enough to accept the challenge. Don't let the game last too long though, and be straight forward sooner than later.
deux ex machina Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 (edited) Heh, people have such strange logic sometimes. "What!? He's not being a douche? RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" I smell jealousy. Can't win for losing! ---------- Sadly, as much as we want to be sure, we never can be. And since you are in the "getting to know you" stage, you really can't be sure. He's an unknown quantity at this point. Take it slow, and understand that you will be alright, even if it doesn't work out. Because you will be alright. Edited April 30, 2010 by deux ex machina
xpaperxcutx Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Well look at it this way, since he's only just met you what are the chances that he could just be going overboard with the " nice" gestures? I admit, sending chocolate in the mail sounds like he's " buying" you after all, after what I've read on this board, most of the men would argue, " what did you do to deserve such treatment?" If I have to question why a guy's being too nice I would first turn down any presents big or small during the first couple of meetings and dates. It's not the presents that will make a difference to how you perceive him but how he acts and behaves and whether his personality contradicts the type of men you're looking for.
jthorne Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 If he just wanted sex, why spend the money? There's lots of girls that will drop trou for nothing. He likes you and was being thoughtful.
carhill Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 OP, you can save him from becoming a bitter old man
Luv2dance Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 If he just wanted sex, why spend the money? There's lots of girls that will drop trou for nothing. He likes you and was being thoughtful. This is my thought also...plus he bought something simple that you mentioned you liked.
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