SadKitty78 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 My ex bf pulled the plug on our relationship 3 weeks ago. I told him I agreed with his decision and asked that he allow me space to move on. We did that for a week. Then I stupidly got drunk and drunk texted him a couple of times and he was really nice and acting like nothing happened. I decided to go NC again and did that for a week, but then at a friend's bday, again, drinking, and this time, I drunk dialed him! We had a "great" conversation, just like old times! I finally realized this needed to stop so I told him I apologize for contacting him and that I would delete his # from my phone so I wouldn't get drunk here and there and "forget" that we were no longer together and text or call him. He pleaded with me not to delete his number and said he really enjoys talking to me. Is he handing me breadcrumbs? Is this an ego boost for him? AM I MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE HERE? ONE POTENTIALLY LEADING TO HEARTACHE AND IMPEDING MY PROGRESS IN MOVING ON? So now that I've been back and forth, any suggestions on what to tell him? I blame a lot of it on myself as well since I keep breaking NC even though I requested it.
cmichael16 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 AM I MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE HERE? ONE POTENTIALLY LEADING TO HEARTACHE AND IMPEDING MY PROGRESS IN MOVING ON? YES, STOP! Just go Silent, he will get the IDea, but if you must tell him tell him that you are going NC to heal, and if he ever wants to reconcile to call you after some time
Author SadKitty78 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 YES, STOP! Just go Silent, he will get the IDea, but if you must tell him tell him that you are going NC to heal, and if he ever wants to reconcile to call you after some time Thank you! He hasn't made any attempts at reconciling so I know us talking now is just not going to lead to anything good. I want to move on from this and trying not to hold on to thoughts of reconciliation, and I know staying contact is just NOT the way to go. However, parts of me likes still having him in my life and I'm always strong enough not to contact him, but one drink and the urge becomes so strong. Must delete # from phone as well!
cmichael16 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Thank you! He hasn't made any attempts at reconciling so I know us talking now is just not going to lead to anything good. I want to move on from this and trying not to hold on to thoughts of reconciliation, and I know staying contact is just NOT the way to go. However, parts of me likes still having him in my life and I'm always strong enough not to contact him, but one drink and the urge becomes so strong. Must delete # from phone as well! I get breadcrumbs from my ex all the time, I had to lay it out to her not to contact me unless she wants to reconcile and to be damned sure. After the breakup we kept in constant contact, and I was not the initiator of the conversations, it kept me from healing at all. Now that its been a week with limited contact at all (Business related to insurance) I feel so much better, I am finally healing a lot more than I would have if I had agreed "To Just be friends"
Author SadKitty78 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 I get breadcrumbs from my ex all the time, I had to lay it out to her not to contact me unless she wants to reconcile and to be damned sure. After the breakup we kept in constant contact, and I was not the initiator of the conversations, it kept me from healing at all. Now that its been a week with limited contact at all (Business related to insurance) I feel so much better, I am finally healing a lot more than I would have if I had agreed "To Just be friends" When did you guys break up? Do you find Limited Contact to be helpful? I'm trying for NC now but I keep breaking it!
hopesndreams Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Yes, it's breadcrumbs. If he wanted to be with you, he would want more than just his number not being deleted. Show him what life is like without you. Do not call, ever! It is only then that you will know what he really wants and needs.
Recommended Posts