Why is there such a lack of education on how to pick up women?

[Taramere]

I always find it hillarious when women want Men to approach them not becasue they are just physically attracted but becasue they seem something magical inside you without even knowing you:laugh:

 

It's not really magic or hocus pocus. People are often attracted to others who are quite average looking, but who remind them of someone or something that meant a lot to them. They might not be conscious of a memory being triggered, so they'll say something like "there was just something about him/her." It can work in a negative way too. "Ugh - there's just something about him/her I don't like."

 

Im sorry most Men approach women they find physically attractive then see from there how there personality is we arent mind readers we cant tell what a kind fun magical perosn you are by glancing at you

 

There's no need to apologise. Some people are better at making accurate judgements about a person's temperament by observing their body language than others are. Maybe because they're naturally intuitive or because they've been trained to do it.

[phineas]

I'm not thinking about making every girl your bff. It's more like having buddies that are girls, so on a Thursday evening after work you can call them up and say: "hey, a few friends and I are meeting at the pub for drinks. You should come and feel free to invite friends!"

 

I have yet to meet a girl that is like that.

 

The women I meet that want to be friends have very few female friends themselves or thier lieing to me about not having any female friends.

 

They usually also have a FWB they never tell me about.

 

Who wants to deal with that drama?

I sure don't.

[carhill]

I think you need some common ground/interests to maintain a relationship,even in cold approaching you need something you both can understand and talk about

Good thing you mentioned this. I tried this 'commonality' approach with one of the ladies I recently dated, the 'commonality' being 'home improvement' since I'm knowledgeable in the trades and helped stbx decorate our marital home. I could *feel* the friendzone descending and attempted to literally cut it short, but it still failed, even with proper romantic interest. The injection of peer interest during courtship, something which caused me to fail miserably many years ago as a single man, appears to be alive and well today. I've come to firmly believe that a woman takes interest in or shares interests *because* she's into a man, rather than the reverse. Bed her first, then decorate together

[IrishCarBomb]

Is there such a lack of education on how to pick up women? I really don't agree with this. The fundumental cliche crap people say is spot on a) be yourself b) be confident, relax and enjoy c) there are plenty of fish in the sea so go on take a chance and if you get rejected move on....

 

This is clichee stuff everyone has heard yet people are not motivated enough.... or just to scared... or what ever to actualy try.

 

Men who do bad with women go through life with out being themselves... with out finding confidence and unable to face rejection.

 

These are the core problems and doing bad with women are just one of the many side effects.

 

Quoted for truth.

[tincanman99]

I dont think women should be blamed. If a guy cant approach a woman that is his problem, not hers per say. Despite feminism women still expect men to do the initial work and open their mouths. I dont buy into this rhetoric that women are bad, sluts or whatever...

 

If you go down in flames, you down in flames. Its all about you. From what I have seen the majority of men, I would say in the order of 80% have never figured this out. Many guys marry the first woman that will take them.

 

Most men never learn it and that includes me.

 

I can say this because I was/still am a bit chronically shy. I was shy my entire life. Not sure why, but I was. Especially with the opposite sex. The women didnt do anything, it was more of a case that I DIDNT DO ANYTHING. Are they to blame for this? In a word - NO.

 

That being said, you have to change how you think, how you behave, etc... If you have the same problem over and over and the one commonality in all the situations is YOU, than you might want to look inside at yourself.

 

Today my shyness is gone in the majority of my life. The one area that I still have problems with is women that I am interested in relationship wise. The shyness was beaten down in a number of ways that happened simultaneously:

 

*I used to be a research scientist. After I was laid off during the dot com collapse I was FORCED to step out of my comfort zone in order to get a job. That meant going on tons of interviews with strangers and talking myself up to get a job. Since than I have become great on interviews.

 

*I had a job where I was forced to be a technical liaison for a very high profile technology executive. This guy took a liking to me and basically took me in but he forced me into situations that I was just not comfortable - like doing presentations in front of investors for him, being his mouth piece to the media, etc... the very first time I had to do a presentation in front of 300 people he did not give me a choice. He said you can do it on this day or this day, which one do you want?

 

*I had a job where I negotiated technology contracts. I was forced to deal with strangers all day long EVERY SINGLE day for a few years. Brutal job but now I speak to strangers and am actually entertaining.

 

To give you an idea how far I have gone - my current boss wrote and told me I have superior and way above average written and verbal communication skills. If I had never stepped out of the box I would not have gotten that.

 

I think its very important to have non-sexual women friends. The reason I say this is it helps you realize that women are people and have feelings and thoughts just like everyone else. I have some very close women friends that I know everything about them including my trainer who helped me lose the weight.

 

I have made changes myself - lost weight, got a new ward drobe, got a great hair cut and changed my attitude about life.

 

I dont completely buy into this PUA stuff but I do believe some of it works to a point. Its like doing sales - you are the product and you have to do the best dog and pony show you can to get people to buy . The key in my opinion is self confidence and not to care if they get snippy with you.

 

I had a womanizing friend years ago who tried to teach me. He was so good that he would pick up women in the street in NYC. He would say outrageous stuff to them that I would sure would get him slapped. For example I remember he walked up to some woman and told her she had a great as*. Those were his exact words. Next thing you know he was talking to her, getting her number and than dating her. He definitely had the rap on him. He used to tell me - you over think it way to much, who cares what they say or think. If they get mad or dont want to talk to you, who cares.

 

That being said, the only thing you can control is yourself. If A is not working than its time to start looking at something else. I am working on my skills right now because I decided I cant keep living the way I am.

[phineas]

Good thing you mentioned this. I tried this 'commonality' approach with one of the ladies I recently dated, the 'commonality' being 'home improvement' since I'm knowledgeable in the trades and helped stbx decorate our marital home. I could *feel* the friendzone descending and attempted to literally cut it short, but it still failed, even with proper romantic interest. The injection of peer interest during courtship, something which caused me to fail miserably many years ago as a single man, appears to be alive and well today. I've come to firmly believe that a woman takes interest in or shares interests *because* she's into a man, rather than the reverse. Bed her first, then decorate together

 

Let me guess, she was ALWAYS mentiong things that needed to be done on her house that she couldn't do herself and you knew, just KNEW she was expecting you to step up & do them for her.

 

When I said "sure, as long as you come help me scrape the texture off my kitchen ceiling" that's when she pulled the "i'll need a babysitter card" & acts like it's such a chore to find one.

 

Even though she told me about how she went out the weekend before with an ex she is good friends with now.

 

I guess she thought because she is hot i'd be thinking with my little head & not notice she had to of had a babysitter that night.

I won't even get into whether or not she planned it ahead of time or if it was spur of the moment because either way contradicts her "i'm so busy" BS.

 

Plus when I do the math she's got more guy friends than I do. Their all ex's also & are only looking for sex. Otherwise she wouldn't have to ask me to work on her house.

 

It's amazing how pissed off those types of women get when you figure them out & cut them from your life.

 

I'm learning to recognize women like that faster & faster. Some of them slow play you though.

 

They act like they just want to be friends then bam, their asking you to do stuff for them.

[sally4sara]

I was trying to be nice then you say women can continue the species without men. What do you mean by this? That we are going to become a species of just women?

 

It is way more possible for women to do this than men if that is what you're asking. Take a peek at the advances in genetic and bio research in the UK. Women impregnating women isn't far off. And yeah, the kids would be female too.

But really it would make me sad if it got this way. I know many men who appreciate what women bring to their life even when sex is not part of the equation. Men with an attitude like you described (I'll not assume it is your attitude but rather one you tossed out there for consideration), alienate the opposite gender and get in their own way. If evolution worked the way you described, smarter men would never have figured out that life is made better by engaging with women rather than acting like entitled animals we should thank our lucky stars over for serving up dick. It takes no brawn to catch diner anymore and physics/engineering helps to build a house. So other than a stiff wang - what is it men have given women that still plays out today? I mean - I can buy a stiff wang from a toy store so......

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change."

 

 

Darwin figured it out and so have other men.

Edited May 4, 2010 by sally4sara

[carhill]

Let me guess, she was ALWAYS mentiong things that needed to be done on her house that she couldn't do herself and you knew, just KNEW she was expecting you to step up & do them for her.

While I'd love to say 'yes', the answer is 'no'. She was quite accomplished herself and knew people in the trades. While we were dating, she and her son scraped the 'popcorn' off the ceilings and a contractor friend came in and put texture on them and she painted. Since my marriage, I don't 'do' skilled labor for people whom I don't know well and have a mutually generous friendship. We only dated a month or so and it was all in public. The key thing I noted was that it was too easy to 'go there' and have peer conversations rather than flirtatious, romantic ones. So, in the future, I'll make note of potential shared interests but focus on the male/female romantic part rather than the 'friends with shared interests' part. A number of women I've met have expressed interest in vintage autos (like going to shows/cruises, etc) but I've kept any responses to a minimum, acknowledging only my interest rather than elaborating. I'll see how that works out. I doubt they're interested in discussing number's-matching period-correct engine parts with a potential romantic partner

[espec10001]

It is way more possible for women to do this than men if that is what you're asking. Take a peek at the advances in genetic and bio research in the UK. Women impregnating women isn't far off. And yeah, the kids would be female too.

But really it would make me sad if it got this way. I know many men who appreciate what women bring to their life even when sex is not part of the equation. Men with an attitude like you described (I'll not assume it is your attitude but rather one you tossed out there for consideration), alienate the opposite gender and get in their own way. If evolution worked the way you described, smarter men would never have figured out that life is made better by engaging with women rather than acting like entitled animals we should thank our lucky stars over for serving up dick. It takes no brawn to catch diner anymore and physics/engineering helps to build a house. So other than a stiff wang - what is it men have given women that still plays out today? I mean - I can buy a stiff wang from a toy store so......

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change."

 

 

Darwin figured it out and so have other men.

 

Who built those houses? Who invented the engineering? Who investigated the physics to allow you all these comforts? Hmm hmm? See what I mean, all these things men have made to make human's (your) life easier has backfired and now you are going to use it to destroy him. Great job! Women like you who want to destroy men can have the earth because I'd rather be dead than live in a world like that where being a man is a crime.

[phineas]

Who built those houses? Who invented the engineering? Who investigated the physics to allow you all these comforts? Hmm hmm? See what I mean, all these things men have made to make human's (your) life easier has backfired and now you are going to use it to destroy him. Great job! Women like you who want to destroy men can have the earth because I'd rather be dead than live in a world like that where being a man is a crime.

 

That is interesting.

 

It's men that seem to possess the drive to beat their heads against a wall (sometimes for yrs) until they figure something out or accidently discover something else.

 

You have to wonder if a planet of women would be as technilogically advanced consider most men do things to impress women in the first place.

[sally4sara]

Who built those houses? Who invented the engineering? Who investigated the physics to allow you all these comforts? Hmm hmm? See what I mean, all these things men have made to make human's (your) life easier has backfired and now you are going to use it to destroy him. Great job! Women like you who want to destroy men can have the earth because I'd rather be dead than live in a world like that where being a man is a crime.

 

Those are hollow arguments when women were kept from that education and banned from holding patent for their own inventions. Do you really believe men came to education by genetics and women did not by genetics?

I CAN build a house and have worked with Habitats for Humanity.

 

And it is funny that you think research I did not contribute to, but instead exposed you to indicates I want to destroy men. P.S. The head of that research team is MALE.

I made a man and I love him much.

[espec10001]

That is interesting.

 

It's men that seem to possess the drive to beat their heads against a wall (sometimes for yrs) until they figure something out or accidently discover something else.

 

You have to wonder if a planet of women would be as technilogically advanced consider most men do things to impress women in the first place.

 

Yeah all these discoveries I am sure were made with a impressing, supplying, caring for, feeding, or simply loving a woman. And now these inventions we have made to impress them they will use against us to make us extinct!

[sally4sara]

Who built those houses? Who invented the engineering? Who investigated the physics to allow you all these comforts? Hmm hmm? See what I mean, all these things men have made to make human's (your) life easier has backfired and now you are going to use it to destroy him. Great job! Women like you who want to destroy men can have the earth because I'd rather be dead than live in a world like that where being a man is a crime.

 

This also indicates you didn't read much about what I said about evolution and today.

 

Even if once, women were denied education so men could believe it made them more manly by make those advances - WE LIVE TODAY. Men need to adapt to TODAY. Otherwise you promote even more reason for the research I mentioned. Your attitude would have men becoming obsolete, why not join the modern world and leave that entitled animal mentality behind with the dinosaurs?

[AD1980]

I dont think women should be blamed. If a guy cant approach a woman that is his problem, not hers per say. Despite feminism women still expect men to do the initial work and open their mouths. I dont buy into this rhetoric that women are bad, sluts or whatever...

 

If you go down in flames, you down in flames. Its all about you. From what I have seen the majority of men, I would say in the order of 80% have never figured this out. Many guys marry the first woman that will take them.

 

Most men never learn it and that includes me.

 

I can say this because I was/still am a bit chronically shy. I was shy my entire life. Not sure why, but I was. Especially with the opposite sex. The women didnt do anything, it was more of a case that I DIDNT DO ANYTHING. Are they to blame for this? In a word - NO.

 

That being said, you have to change how you think, how you behave, etc... If you have the same problem over and over and the one commonality in all the situations is YOU, than you might want to look inside at yourself.

 

Today my shyness is gone in the majority of my life. The one area that I still have problems with is women that I am interested in relationship wise. The shyness was beaten down in a number of ways that happened simultaneously:

 

*I used to be a research scientist. After I was laid off during the dot com collapse I was FORCED to step out of my comfort zone in order to get a job. That meant going on tons of interviews with strangers and talking myself up to get a job. Since than I have become great on interviews.

 

*I had a job where I was forced to be a technical liaison for a very high profile technology executive. This guy took a liking to me and basically took me in but he forced me into situations that I was just not comfortable - like doing presentations in front of investors for him, being his mouth piece to the media, etc... the very first time I had to do a presentation in front of 300 people he did not give me a choice. He said you can do it on this day or this day, which one do you want?

 

*I had a job where I negotiated technology contracts. I was forced to deal with strangers all day long EVERY SINGLE day for a few years. Brutal job but now I speak to strangers and am actually entertaining.

 

To give you an idea how far I have gone - my current boss wrote and told me I have superior and way above average written and verbal communication skills. If I had never stepped out of the box I would not have gotten that.

 

I think its very important to have non-sexual women friends. The reason I say this is it helps you realize that women are people and have feelings and thoughts just like everyone else. I have some very close women friends that I know everything about them including my trainer who helped me lose the weight.

 

I have made changes myself - lost weight, got a new ward drobe, got a great hair cut and changed my attitude about life.

 

I dont completely buy into this PUA stuff but I do believe some of it works to a point. Its like doing sales - you are the product and you have to do the best dog and pony show you can to get people to buy . The key in my opinion is self confidence and not to care if they get snippy with you.

 

I had a womanizing friend years ago who tried to teach me. He was so good that he would pick up women in the street in NYC. He would say outrageous stuff to them that I would sure would get him slapped. For example I remember he walked up to some woman and told her she had a great as*. Those were his exact words. Next thing you know he was talking to her, getting her number and than dating her. He definitely had the rap on him. He used to tell me - you over think it way to much, who cares what they say or think. If they get mad or dont want to talk to you, who cares.

 

That being said, the only thing you can control is yourself. If A is not working than its time to start looking at something else. I am working on my skills right now because I decided I cant keep living the way I am.

 

I have the same prolem im pretty shy..In general im a laid back guy even with friends if its a large group i sometimes get lost in the shuffle but i do talk a decent amount.

 

When it comes to approaching women that i dont know i just get nervous and have no idea what to say to somebody i dont know at all and how to start a conversation without coming of creepy..

 

I dont think im attractive anyway so it probably wouldnt make a differnece but shyness has stopped me from even finding out if any women are attracted to me at all..

[espec10001]

Those are hollow arguments when women were kept from that education and banned from holding patent for their own inventions. Do you really believe men came to education by genetics and women did not by genetics?

I CAN build a house and have worked with Habitats for Humanity.

 

And it is funny that you think research I did not contribute to, but instead exposed you to indicates I want to destroy men. P.S. The head of that research team is MALE.

I made a man and I love him much.

 

You are only 50% of the equation. YOU did not make the man by yourself, unless you are the Virgin Mother and birthed Jesus. A MAN helped you make another life. See this is where women's arguements that they are the reason for life fall short. Without a man's seed, you can't create new life out of thin air.

 

How about instead of making men obsolete we just gather the women, throw them in cages, and just use them for reproduction. How would you like that? Because that is essentially what you want to do to men.

[phineas]

Those are hollow arguments when women were kept from that education and banned from holding patent for their own inventions. Do you really believe men came to education by genetics and women did not by genetics?

I CAN build a house and have worked with Habitats for Humanity.

 

And it is funny that you think research I did not contribute to, but instead exposed you to indicates I want to destroy men. P.S. The head of that research team is MALE.

I made a man and I love him much.

 

It really has nothing to do with education or patents or what-not.

Men are a different animal.

 

Take the wright brothers for example.

There are far more men willing to strap wings to a bicycle & peddle it off a hill in hopes of flying than there are women.

 

The most intelligent man in the world will device a rocket engine but not stop to think about the fact he's litterally strapping a giant can of flamable liquid to his ass & lighting on fire.

 

it's beyond dangerous & stupid when it comes to testing.

 

In cases like the above women are for the most part simply too logical to do something like that.

 

As strange as that seems.

[sally4sara]

You are only 50% of the equation. YOU did not make the man by yourself, unless you are the Virgin Mother and birthed Jesus. A MAN helped you make another life. See this is where women's arguements that they are the reason for life fall short. Without a man's seed, you can't create new life out of thin air.

 

How about instead of making men obsolete we just gather the women, throw them in cages, and just use them for reproduction. How would you like that? Because that is essentially what you want to do to men.

 

Ah see, we have guns now! I own a few. Your ugly suggestion also promotes the need for the research you are now upset over.

 

Anyhoo, you're right I was not impregnated by female sperm. But that donor is no man and has contributed nothing a boy can use to grow to be a man. That donor lives off his mamma at almost age 40!

 

Female sperm would remove any fantasy you likely have about being caged and used by women for reproduction. Go have your lotion time without pestering me with your fantasies because nothing I've shared in this thread is about capturing men. I have no idea why you think it is something I want to do. I love the men in my life.

[sally4sara]

It really has nothing to do with education or patents or what-not.

Men are a different animal.

 

Take the wright brothers for example.

There are far more men willing to strap wings to a bicycle & peddle it off a hill in hopes of flying than there are women.

 

The most intelligent man in the world will device a rocket engine but not stop to think about the fact he's litterally strapping a giant can of flamable liquid to his ass & lighting on fire.

 

it's beyond dangerous & stupid when it comes to testing.

 

In cases like the above women are for the most part simply too logical to do something like that.

 

As strange as that seems.

 

It has everything to do with that. Without access to education you cannot develop the desire needed for scientific advance. If your world is needle point and cooking, it is all you see.

[espec10001]

This also indicates you didn't read much about what I said about evolution and today.

 

Even if once, women were denied education so men could believe it made them more manly by make those advances - WE LIVE TODAY. Men need to adapt to TODAY. Otherwise you promote even more reason for the research I mentioned. Your attitude would have men becoming obsolete, why not join the modern world and leave that entitled animal mentality behind with the dinosaurs?

 

This precisely defines what women misunderstand about men. The animal mentality in men never goes away. Have you seen what men do to other men? Wars, torture, oppression, injustice? This is nothing more than an animal marking his territory and taking away all the resources of another man who might threaten him.

 

Why do so many men have difficulty in finding women or having women be interested in them? It is because there is only a finite amount of resources available, women want a man with plentiful resources (money) and when any avenue of a man making his own way of life is taxed, taken away, or just killed off for trying to challenge a dominant male so that he can have the resources to be the man and provide for his family, then you might understand.

[phineas]

It has everything to do with that. Without access to education you cannot develop the desire needed for scientific advance. If your world is needle point and cooking, it is all you see.

 

Really?

Who invented kitchen appliances?

[sally4sara]

This precisely defines what women misunderstand about men. The animal mentality in men never goes away. Have you seen what men do to other men? Wars, torture, oppression, injustice? This is nothing more than an animal marking his territory and taking away all the resources of another man who might threaten him.

 

Why do so many men have difficulty in finding women or having women be interested in them? It is because there is only a finite amount of resources available, women want a man with plentiful resources (money) and when any avenue of a man making his own way of life is taxed, taken away, or just killed off for trying to challenge a dominant male so that he can have the resources to be the man and provide for his family, then you might understand.

 

Don't be silly, you're just giving the same reasons (violence and entitlement) I've already told you promotes some people idealizing an all female world. Personally, I think even if it were an all female world the desire to dominate would still manifest in women.

 

So? describe to me the last time you had to kill off another man for your needs.

Women make money, pay taxes, and stand up to challenges of other people in the pursuit of finding and keeping employment. I know I have so I'm pretty sure I DO understand. Come back to TODAY and stop talking about life as a caveman and a caveman's struggle. You do not live it, have no idea what it was like and would like die if those standards were put in play today.

[sally4sara]

Really?

Who invented kitchen appliances?

 

Both men and women and in a more modern world than the one where women were not even allowed to open books.

Education was not even always just the right of men, but wealthy men. Once that changed so did a noted diversity in the kinds of men inventing things. The next noticed diversity came when women had more access to education and joined the ranks.

[carhill]

Really?

Who invented kitchen appliances?

Yeah, we should cr@p on his soul, except for keeping my beer cold

 

TBH, though, a lot of what we call 'kitchen conveniences' and what have made 'women's lives' easier were invented for other purposes or by accident.

 

I sincerely doubt most of the 'men' involved in those inventions were particularly interested in techniques to pick up women. Google 'speedy weenie' for more insight.

[espec10001]

Don't be silly, you're just giving the same reasons (violence and entitlement) I've already told you promotes some people idealizing an all female world. Personally, I think even if it were an all female world the desire to dominate would still manifest in women.

 

So? describe to me the last time you had to kill off another man for your needs.

Women make money, pay taxes, and stand up to challenges of other people in the pursuit of finding and keeping employment. I know I have so I'm pretty sure I DO understand. Come back to TODAY and stop talking about life as a caveman and a caveman's struggle. You do not live it, have no idea what it was like and would like die if those standards were put in play today.

 

ahahah you don't get it. Who is the father figure to a child in a single mom's world? The state, the government, it's all the same thing: a dominant male/males, the ones with all the $$$. The kid grows up being fed on all sorts of propaganda and how to obey the state. Single moms have to work to pay the bills, so they need a baby sitter/daycare to watch them, TV or computers to keep them occupied, and you believe that this does not influence their future behavior?

 

This is precisely what you and many other women do not understand. You're leaving the raising of the child up to some entity you don't even know because the dominant males want it this way.

[sally4sara]

ahahah you don't get it. Who is the father figure to a child in a single mom's world? The state, the government, it's all the same thing: a dominant male/males, the ones with all the $$$. The kid grows up being fed on all sorts of propaganda and how to obey the state. Single moms have to work to pay the bills, so they need a baby sitter/daycare to watch them, TV or computers to keep them occupied, and you believe that this does not influence their future behavior?

 

This is precisely what you and many other women do not understand. You're leaving the raising of the child up to some entity you don't even know because the dominant males want it this way.

 

You don't get it. We live in TODAY. Sometimes men stay home. Sometimes a woman is a great role model for children of any gender. My son has not had a sitter that wasn't family. Some sitters are also capable of being a good influence on children of both genders.

What you are talking about is a separate subject from the skills modern men need to learn to identify with modern women so that they can successfully get one to date them. If you'd like to talk about the ways men and women contribute to ill raised children you should start a thread about it.

 

I still say that men who can speak to women as equal individuals will find better success. All you've contributed is suggestions of rape and captivity. Dominant males are their own problem. Well rounded, confident men get the spoils. Who cares what your dominant men want? The rest of us (reasonable men and women) get along better without them anyway.