Why is there such a lack of education on how to pick up women?

[OpenGL]

I have a general question on how our society is ran in regards to men and attracting women. I don't know of this is really unique to the US or if all cultures have this problem.

 

I think we can all agree on here that very few men naturally have the "skill", for lack of a better term, to pick up women. A natural ladies man if you will. I'm talking about the guys who were able to sweet talk women and have girlfriends/lady friends since middle school, despite what he looked like physically or his intelligence level. He just "had it" and attracting girls was never an issue.

 

With this said, there are still a number of men out there that do not have this skill but do not need the education on how to pick up men because they are in the upper percentile of attractiveness (maybe the top 20% or so). There are also maybe another 20% of men that are of average attractiveness but in the early years of their life (high school-college) hung out with people who had these skills so they just absorbed enough to have the skills to attract a moderate amount of women. Enough to the point to not really have any problems.

 

 

I'm going assume that most guys on this forum (including me) fall in with the rest of the men not described above. We don't have the natrual skills with women, we are of average physically attractiveness, and were never taught how to attract women. Thus we end up on this forum basically asking things we should of been taught in our adolescence.

 

 

So what is going wrong in our society? Whose responsibility is it to teach men how to attract women? Why is it that we teach or kids grammar, math, science, engineering, etc, but we don't teach them something as fundamental as attracting women? What kind of sense does that make? Why do we (women and society) blame men for not knowing how to pick up women when it is something that most men are never taught how to do? Is it expected that men learn this skill naturally, and if they don't it's their fault?

 

Is it just because parents these days have not really adapted to current times and they simply don't know that this skillset is virtually required for most men? There is really no argument for this since the pick up artist industry is a multimillion industry (which wouldn't exist, at least this large, without a serious demand for this skill).

 

Looking forward to your thoughts.

[Jerry18]

I don't think there are any rules. If there are strict rules, then with enough practice I should be able to marry Britney Spears.

 

How come girls do you ask out per week? The more you try, the more likely you'll get a success.

[PJKino]

Men arent suppsoed to show weakness in society especially with women..If a man admits not being good with women hes looked down up and shunned..

[tigressA]

"Pick up" women. Sounds like you're going to the store.

 

Clearly there isn't such a lack of education, since the pick-up industry exists. I think all that is a bunch of bull, but whatever works for people.

[TheBigQuestion]

The education available on the topic of being better with women is all over the place and has grown a lot in the past 2 decades. The bigger problem is the fact that a lot of people still are unwilling or unable to get over themselves and actually try some of this stuff out.

[Woggle]

I don't think there are any rules. If there are strict rules, then with enough practice I should be able to marry Britney Spears.

 

How come girls do you ask out per week? The more you try, the more likely you'll get a success.

 

If I were single and Britney Spears proposed to me I would not marry her. She is seriously one of the most overrated people that ever existed.

[somedude81]

The education available on the topic of being better with women is all over the place and has grown a lot in the past 2 decades. The bigger problem is the fact that a lot of people still are unwilling or unable to get over themselves and actually try some of this stuff out.

True, but who actually reads the information? It's the single guys in their 20's or older who need it. Why do they need it? Because they never learned it when they were young.

 

I'm 28 years old I've been absolutely horrible at attracting women. The fact that I've never had a girlfriend pisses me off so much. I most certainly could have used some help when I was a teenager.

 

Some men, though not all, who struggle with women lash out. Anybody remember George Sodini?

 

So who's job is it to make sure that boys learn how to attract girls, so the boys can grow up to be happy and healthy men? I think that duty mainly belongs to the father. I am very angry that my father, whom I actually lived with, did not give me any assistance at all with girls. And now my 15 year old brother is getting the necessary help.

 

Way to go dad, all it took was one son attempting suicide (not me) and the other to be constantly depressed to realize that it's important to teach your children. BTW I love my father and we talk about this stuff, and I'm so jealous of my youngest brother who is going to have a good life.

Edited April 29, 2010 by somedude81

[PJKino]

True, but who actually reads the information? It's the single guys in their 20's or older who need it. Why do they need it? Because they never learned it when they were young.

 

I'm 28 years old I've been absolutely horrible at attracting women. The fact that I've never had a girlfriend pisses me off so much. I most certainly could have used some help when I was a teenager.

 

Some men, though not all, who struggle with women lash out. Anybody remember George Sodini?

 

So who's job is it to make sure that boys learn how to attract girls, so the boys can grow up to be happy and healthy men? I think that duty mainly belongs to the father. I am very angry that my father, whom I actually lived with, did not give me any assistance at all with girls. And now my 15 year old brother is getting the necessary help.

 

Way to go dad, all it took was one son attempting suicide (not me) and the other to be constantly depressed to realize that it's important to teach your children. BTW I love my father and we talk about this stuff, and I'm so jealous of my youngest brother who is going to have a good life.

 

Im in the same boat im 29..It does suck soemtimes never feeling the warmth or effection of a women but what am i gonna do kill myself over it?

 

I just have to enjoy life and realize some of us arent attratcive to the opposite sex and will be lonely in that part of life..

[Kamille]

The biggest myth in your post is the one about there being men out there who can virtually land any women. Simply not true. Some men are smoother than others, but no man is universally attractive to all women. Usually, the biggest distinction between a ladies' man and a 'self-proclaimed-regular-guy such as yourself' is that the ladies man knows how to handle rejection. Ladies' men play the numbers game, and therefore seem to have it easier, because their ego can handle rejection.

 

So first, men's expectations of themselves and the dating world need to be put in perspective and discussed. I don't expect every guy I meet to fall for me. I consider myself lucky that, when single, I usually meet a nice, compatible guy about every 6 months. Men shouldn't expect a secret weapon that will magically make other human beings drop their panties at the sight of them.

 

In short, there is a misrepresentation that your post is participating in propagating: the myth that it's possible to be simply irresistible to all women. You'll do yourself a great service by realizing this isn't actual fact.

[sweetjasmine]

Why is it that we teach or kids grammar, math, science, engineering, etc, but we don't teach them something as fundamental as attracting women? What kind of sense does that make?

 

I call troll.

 

protip: kids and teens learn social interaction from, well, interacting with other people and observing people interact with each other.

[Woggle]

I have never had trouble attracting women and if I were single I could go out and get laid easily if I wanted to but my huge issue was finding a quality woman. Attracting a woman is quite easy but we need to teach men how to properly pick a woman who will be a good partner. Being pretty and having a nice smile is not proper criteria for a relationship and more men need to learn this and learn the red flags to look out for before they dive in too deep.

[Eeyore79]

There is heaps of information out there on how to pick up women. There are videos on Youtube, websites, discussion forums, books - hell, there was even a tv series called "The Pickup Artist". If you want to know how to pick up women, you could learn the skills from any number of sources, assuming you didn't learn them naturally.

[PJKino]

The biggest myth in your post is the one about there being men out there who can virtually land any women. Simply not true. Some men are smoother than others, but no man is universally attractive to all women. Usually, the biggest distinction between a ladies' man and a 'self-proclaimed-regular-guy such as yourself' is that the ladies man knows how to handle rejection. Ladies' men play the numbers game, and therefore seem to have it easier, because their ego can handle rejection.

 

So first, men's expectations of themselves and the dating world need to be put in perspective and discussed. I don't expect every guy I meet to fall for me. I consider myself lucky that, when single, I usually meet a nice, compatible guy about every 6 months. Men shouldn't expect a secret weapon that will magically make other human beings drop their panties at the sight of them.

 

In short, there is a misrepresentation that your post is participating in propagating: the myth that it's possible to be simply irresistible to all women. You'll do yourself a great service by realizing this isn't actual fact.

 

Obviously nobodies universally attracitve but theres people who allot of women are attracted to and men who a very small amount of women are attracted to..

[Woggle]

There is heaps of information out there on how to pick up women. There are videos on Youtube, websites, discussion forums, books - hell, there was even a tv series called "The Pickup Artist". If you want to know how to pick up women, you could learn the skills from any number of sources, assuming you didn't learn them naturally.

 

Most of these sources teach men hot to be a douchebag who attracts whatever the female version of a douchebag is. Attracting women is step one in having a successful dating life. It really is not that hard.

[PJKino]

Attracting a woman is quite easy

 

Only to some people..You make it seem like any guy can do well with women and attract them..

 

For some of us its quite hard..Most women i approach give me dirty looks before i can even get a word out..

[Woggle]

Only to some people..You make it seem like any guy can do well with women and attract them..

 

For some of us its quite hard..Most women i approach give me dirty looks before i can even get a word out..

 

That is because you are intimidated by them or you are dealing with the wrong women.

[Dblock10]

The education available on the topic of being better with women is all over the place and has grown a lot in the past 2 decades. The bigger problem is the fact that a lot of people still are unwilling or unable to get over themselves and actually try some of this stuff out.

 

my words and many of my male mates exact opinion.

 

end of!

[PJKino]

That is because you are intimidated by them or you are dealing with the wrong women.

 

Ill be the first to admit im a little shy around women at times and lack self esteem when it deals with gettign them but without sucess how am i supposed to have any confidence? But its not like i show them im intimidated by them as soon as i approach but they arleady give me dirty looks before i can say a word..

 

And you may be right about the wrong women but you cant tell who the right and wrogn women are just by looking at them..

[Kamille]

In my experience, men who have women in their circle of friends usually do better at dating women, and those are likely the same men some of you perceive as "being more attractive".

 

 

The advantage to having mixed social networks is that these men likely hardly ever have to "cold approach" a woman. So, my first recommendations would be to start investing in co-ed activities and activities which will put you in contact with women, without you having to introduce yourself.

[OpenGL]

That is because you are intimidated by them or you are dealing with the wrong women.

 

C'mon, get serious.

 

The ability to attract women is very relative. It's easy for some people and hard for others. The proof of this is the very nature of there being the multimillion dollar pickup industry.

[Dblock10]

Ill be the first to admit im a little shy around women at times and lack self esteem when it deals with gettign them but without sucess how am i supposed to have any confidence? But its not like i show them im intimidated by them as soon as i approach but they arleady give me dirty looks before i can say a word..

 

And you may be right about the wrong women but you cant tell who the right and wrogn women are just by looking at them..

 

you just need to clearly not give a ****.

 

girls like this. you need to literally let them know you dont give a f*. when or if they reject you, turn it around on them.

 

if they give you dirty looks before you approach most guys would either continue and look scared (how i used to be) now i would say to them, why the screw face? and see what they have to say, if they try and palm you off then just laugh. there loss, move on!

 

dont let any girl or anyone put you down. why should they? what right do they have?

Edited April 29, 2010 by Dblock10

[Woggle]

you just need to clearly not give a ****.

 

girls like this. you need to literally let them know you dont give a f*. when or if they reject you, turn it around on them.

 

if they give you dirty looks before you approach most guys would either continue and look scared or if you like me, would say to them, why the screw face? and see what they have to say.

 

dont let any girl or anyone put you down. why should they? what right do they have?

 

Exactly. The only time I ever got a nasty reaction was when I wasn't even trying to flirt. I was just asking a woman to move over so I could order a drink from the bar. I told her not to flatter herself and it took he back a bit. As nasty as she was she seemed bothered by the fact that I was not flirting with her. When you remind a woman that their body is not made of gold and is not a marvel of nature it disarms them.

 

I don't like this game though and that is why if I were single I would avoid meat markets. People don't even look like they are having any fun in these clubs.

[PJKino]

you just need to clearly not give a ****.

 

girls like this. you need to literally let them know you dont give a f*. when or if they reject you, turn it around on them.

 

if they give you dirty looks before you approach most guys would either continue and look scared (how i used to be) now i would say to them, why the screw face? and see what they have to say, if they try and palm you off then just laugh. there loss, move on!

 

dont let any girl or anyone put you down. why should they? what right do they have?

 

I hear what youre saying i just get this feeling inside when i get rejected like this girl has one over on mw and some sort of power becasue she rejected me..

 

Whenver i got rejected in a say a Club or lounge or wherever id get paranoid and think her and her friends are laughing at me right now saying this loser tried to hit on me and i rejected him...

[TheBigQuestion]

I'm slowly but surely starting to lose that type of paranoia of which you speak. You need to just hammer it into your head over and over again that this person who just rejected you (or could potentially reject you) does not matter. The only opinions of you that matter are your own and of those who care about you. You need to say this like a mantra. I still struggle with it, but I've made progress. And don't ever question that it's true. How your friends and family see you and how you see yourself are quite literally ALL that should matter to you.

[Dblock10]

I hear what youre saying i just get this feeling inside when i get rejected like this girl has one over on mw and some sort of power becasue she rejected me..

 

Whenver i got rejected in a say a Club or lounge or wherever id get paranoid and think her and her friends are laughing at me right now saying this loser tried to hit on me and i rejected him...

 

 

woggle is bang on the money, take his words in!

 

as for this, yes the feeling inside might knock you down (emotionally) but this is what i'm saying... why care about it? you probably wont see the girl again, you need to know you are the best ( dont act like a cock though, just have inner confidence), I mean believe that you are the **** and no one can tell you otherwise type attitude.

 

yeah she probably is saying that to her friends.. again who gives a ****!!!

 

she is clearly on her high horse and is expecting brad pitt or similar to wisk her away, well guess what sweetie, it ent gonna happen and the funny thing is she will probably get pumped that night by some prick.

 

thats the funny thing you have to remember, in the end your the winner. these types of girls ent worth your time.

 

think how shallow they must be if they feel they need to turn you down badly and then brag to there mates..

 

 

just as woggle said, you put up a fight and suddenly they dont know what the hell to do.. this is because the EXPECT you to crumble, just like allll the other guys trying "it on with her"