Arasae Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Hey there, folks. I've been seeing this guy for like three and a half weeks--not long, but we've been on something like nine dates, ten after tonight, and I REALLY like him. Last weekend, he went to a wedding; naturally, this made me nervous.. All the stories I've heard of hook-ups.. anyway, I didn't say anything, just decided to trust him. So he came home, we hung out the next day, and the first thing he says is, "Arasae, I kissed someone at the wedding". Awesome. -.- I guess the people there thought it'd be cute and wanted to take a picture. This bothers me, and I don't know if I'm being irrational or what. We're not officially together, although we've sort of agreed that if we decide to go out with other people, we'll talk to the other one first, but.. I just thought if a guy really likes a girl, he's not out kissing other people, right? At the same time, I would have never found out unless he told me, which he did first thing. The picture I guess is going in a wedding album and not on facebook, so I wouldn't have known unless he told me; so really, I'm confused. Do I have a right to be mildly upset, or have I no ground to stand on? I've kind of just decided to move past it, but I'd like your opinions on this. And no, he didn't do anything more--we haven't even done anything because we're waiting on STD test results. I trust him on that. But.. still. Was it only a kiss, or was it his way of saying, "I don't acftually like you that much?"
FryFish Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 hmm... only 3 weeks and he decided to tell you about a kiss... I think he really likes you... Of course he might also be a player.
seibert253 Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 You gotta give him points for being honest. He told you post haste about this. This means he does care for you. If he didn't, he wouldn't have said a word and you would have never known. That's being dishonest. Now, you gotta subtract his honesty points for being untrustworthy. Listen, if he gets away with "only a kiss" this time, he'll think he got a free pass and try to get away with a little more next time. Do you want this constant 2nd guessing about what he's doing when you're not around? You've only got 10 dates invested in this. I say cut him loose and find someone who is both honest and trustworthy. You deserve better.
jnj express Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 You are moving way to quickly---why don't you slow the whole thing down, and take your time-----just get to know each other. As to the kiss----you are not in a committed situation, so no biggee---but once the 2 of you do commit----all bets are off---no more fooling around of any type
Sazerac Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Tell him you appreciate his honesty, but that if he engages in that kind of behavior again, he gets kicked to the curb. Then stand by it. I wouldn't cut him off right now, because that's training him to be dishonest with others in the future.
LSNoob Posted May 30, 2010 Posted May 30, 2010 @Sazerac; "I wouldn't cut him off right now, because that's training him to be dishonest with others in the future" It shouldn't train him to be dishonest, nope. It should train him to be trustworthy. Your date is an idiot for doing that, there are people that deserve a second chance, but I don't what kinda person he is, or what his history is.
Reality Drip Posted June 17, 2010 Posted June 17, 2010 Three weeks in things are pretty fresh. He can like you and all but it's too early to get all jeeped up about who's doing what if it isn't set in stone that you two are exclusive and committed. On the plus side, he DID admit to kissing the girl. The down side is, it only took one wedding in three weeks to get him kissing on another girl. Give it some space. He may not be a cheater yet but if this is a trend to follow then after the first infraction after being official then you know what to do: leave. -Max
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