undisclosed Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 My BF broke up with me about a month ago. I officially went no contact over two weeks ago. I'm think im beyond denial and definitely accepted that I would prob never hear from him again. Some of my older post since I joined detailed the breakup and our contact since then. So @ the end of the 1st week I hadn't contacted him he texted then called (i didnt respond to either, plus no VM). a week later (in the second week) hey texts "Hey" ....my initial reaction is oookayy wtf am I supposed to say to that. I've made peace with myself and agree to the breakup without having to tell him, have even forgiven him, looked at it for what it was, took responsibility for my own faults, and just accepted that i had a blast, but it probably wasn't meant to be. That being said, I still love him and would consider taking him back. I've read alot of posts and posted my own related to this subject (calling back and the texting) and the vast majority say ignore or it will set me back. I agree that that's likely the reality. I have no interest in prolonging and have thankfully put a stop to putting my self respect and dignity on the line like I did in the beginning and have appreciated the honest advice from LS. However, right now I still love him and want to try the relationship again even tho part of me is also saying that maybe with more time I would let go even more (that's the unknown, but I'm trying to be optimistic for what may be the reality). my question is should I just tell him to stop unless he wants to talk about reconciling or keep moving on (ignoring) and accept that if he really had a change of heart he would say so (because ball is in his court as the dumper) and that this contacting me business is just fishing to see if I'm still there and keeping tabs on me? or would calling back encourage him to make the move to reconcile, or okay this is redundant, but again if he really wanted to get back together wouldn't he just go for it and NC is just best for me right now?
EthanH Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 can I speak to you on some form of mssger? I think you are in exactly the same situation as my ex is atm (apparently)...
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Ethan, with respect, you have to quit asking this. These people as new members can't accept PMs until they have either posted 100 posts or been here a full month. Possibly both. Asking people to divulge personal information on forum CONTRAVENES FORUM GUIDELINES. It's completely discouraged, and I have seen whole threads disappear because personal info of this kind was posted. Secondly, I've seen you do this a lot. And I hate to say it (please! Don't be offended!) You were pretty obsessive about your posts, threads and arguments, and it took you ages to get it, and understand that you were bashing your brains against the wall.....and I know you're moving on from that, but you can't help everyone. It's a presumptuous thing to do, and it could land you in trouble. So really, for all your sakes, don't keep asking for people's private info. It's not "The done thing".
TaraMaiden Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 my question is should I just tell him to stop unless he wants to talk about reconciling Yes. Text the following. "Kindly stop trying to contact me. I only want to hear from you if you genuinely and sincerely want me back." or keep moving on (ignoring) and accept that if he really had a change of heart he would say so (because ball is in his court as the dumper) Quite so. The only think you should respond to is: "I am so, so sorry. I bitterly regret my actions and realise how stupid and foolish I was to do what I did. I love you, I desperately want you back, and will do whatever it takes, for as long as it takes, to regain your trust. I just pray you can forgive me, and would love to be given another chance. Please can we talk about it?, because if there is the slightest chance you would reconsider, I'll jump at it. Do I have a chance?" and that this contacting me business is just fishing to see if I'm still there and keeping tabs on me? This is exactly what he's doing...Throwing you breadcrumbs, keeping you dangling...It's an ego-ploy to see whether they still figure on your radar. or would calling back encourage him to make the move to reconcile, or okay this is redundant, but again if he really wanted to get back together wouldn't he just go for it and NC is just best for me right now? No, yes, and yes.
Author undisclosed Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Hi, I ended up meeting with my ex here is a link of what happened. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t230469/ I'm more perplexed then ever & really need the input. I want to call him and tell him I appreciate what he did, then ask to meet again for lunch or something...
TaraMaiden Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Oh good grief..... Lacerate yourself with a razor blade, then rub a mix of salt and lemon juice into all the cuts. As they slowly heal, pick off all the scabs and make them all bleed. Over, and over and over again. This is roughly what you're doing to yourself in this situation, but it's marginally less damaging.
Always A Lesson Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 (edited) TaraMaiden, Of all the LS posters, you are my favorite.... I love reading your posts, you tell it just like it is...... Sometimes.... I can't believe the things you say! You k-i-n-d-l-y told Ethan what is up.... But I have to say, your pov is honest, straightforward and for real... You pull no punches.... I love it.... Oh, stampdaddy is my next favorite, then CarrieT, then, Bananaboat. Just a comment..... Not that anybody asked. LOL ..... Edited May 6, 2010 by Always A Lesson
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