iheartlavalamps Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Oh boy. How do you tell a guy that you're dating, as in not official, that you are ready to settle down? Let me explain a little bit. He is looking to settle down. And if the girl he's dating isn't, it's not going to work out. So he asks me if I am, should it work out, and for the SECOND time, I'm like *silence*. The thing is, I am. I mean, I never understood the wait until you're 30 to get married and 35 to have kids. But I'm terrified to say that because I've always been taught it will scare a man away. Like literally, how do you say that?
Rorschach Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 'yes I'm looking for a serious long term relationship' You're not saying 'hey lets get married and have kids right now' you just want to let him know that you're not looking for a 'good time' but a serious thing. Wouldn't scare me off.
Author iheartlavalamps Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 well he knows that, he wants to hear that I'm ready to settle down. oh man, idk. the way he puts it makes me nervous. Man, why can't I get that out? Is that normal? Because I can't bring myself to say "yeah, I'm ready to settle down". It's one of those things you aren't supposed to say to a guy you've just started dating. Trick effing question.
123BeachFan Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Say something, like "ultimately, I'd like a serious relationship with the right guy." You are stating your goal without inferring him being cast for the role. Going silent when he brought it up isn't necessarily a bad thing. You aren't required to be an open book from Day One. Don't feel the need to apologize just because you didn't give him a forthright answer to his question.
D-Lish Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 It would freak me out if a guy required this answer from me in the early stages of a relationship. That's a lot of pressure. I think it's unfair to ask such a question this early on.
confusedmuch Posted April 30, 2010 Posted April 30, 2010 Hey, I might have given the silent answer too if a guy brought up something like that so early in a relationship. To me, it's almost like a trick question. If you say you're not looking for anything serious right now, then he's gonna move right on since he says he is looking for something serious. If you say you are looking for something serious but you don't know him well enough to know if you want to stick around for long, it kinda puts you in a funny position...
Recommended Posts