evangeline6 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 This is my first time posting, even though I've read these forums a lot through the seven years I've been with my bf. I started reading these forums when I caught him texting another girl. I forgave him because technically he wasn't cheating. Two weeks ago, he went away for the weekend. He told me he was going to visit his uncle, but when he got back the whole story changed. He went to a totally different state with his uncle and a girl...who supposedly got him a discount on his flight. He said that they didn't stay together. But I don't know what to believe. He won't stop contact with her so if it's not physical cheating it is definitely emotional cheating. I broke up with him, but I am going insane. I cried so hard I got sick. I'm in grad school and I don't spend a lot of time with him. The past couple of weeks, I've been really neglecting him. I don't want to explain his behavior but I sort of understand. I wanted to take it slow, but he doesn't want to stop talking to this girl. He's making me seem like a nag and like I'm crazy for asking him to cut off contact with her. I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm not strong enough to break it off, but I don't respect myself for taking him back.
EthanH Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 be honest, even before the girl, did you think he might be interested in other girls? I mean, did you ever check up on him/have doubts before?
northstar1 Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Im sorry you are going through this. It's rough. If you are in grad school, I'm guessing you've dated since you were a teen or early in college? His behaviour is certainly disturbing, to lie about things tells me there is something else going on. Were you having problems before, or did you notice a change in behavior? I don't know enough to really give you good advice, but it sounds like he might have been starting to look elsewhere to see what else was out there, even if he wasn't ready to leave. How did he know this girl he was texting and what was the content?
Author evangeline6 Posted April 29, 2010 Author Posted April 29, 2010 Im sorry you are going through this. It's rough. If you are in grad school, I'm guessing you've dated since you were a teen or early in college? His behaviour is certainly disturbing, to lie about things tells me there is something else going on. Were you having problems before, or did you notice a change in behavior? I don't know enough to really give you good advice, but it sounds like he might have been starting to look elsewhere to see what else was out there, even if he wasn't ready to leave. How did he know this girl he was texting and what was the content? We've been dating since my last year in highschool. He broke up with me when we hit the three year mark because he got involved with an evangelical church that I quickly learned did not want me as a member. When he left the church a few months later we got back together. Then a year or two later, his phone kept going off while he was passed out and I saw the texts. The texts were inappropriate. He was calling her baby there was some sexual flirting on both sides. Now that I think about it...I'm even more ashamed for taking him back. He keeps saying that I never forgave him for texting that girl and he's right. I think he met the girl at a skate park. She's a skater groupie. The recent girl is someone he has known since he was 15...so before he knew me. Recently, we've been having problems because I'm busy all the time. He was upset that I could only see him once a week. I told him that it was just temporary until finals are over. I feel so stupid. I keep saying that he's not showing "enough remorse" but it doesn't matter. I should leave him but I can't right now.
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