Joe Normal Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I agree with you, however, it was always in the open, I didn't "cheat" because my H and I had an open arrangement for awhile (open for me but not him. What a guy.) My H didn't like this guy from the beginning. Guess he was bang on! I should listen to him more often. He forgave me for continuing to talk to the man and he's trying his best not to say "I told you so" although I really deserve it. Anyways, I think you're right, and o more open M, just H and I! I'm washing my hands of it and just going to revel in the fact that my H is one of the good ones and not the "cheating type". Good riddance to bad rubbish, right? I hope he gets his ass kicked. If you play with fire, don't whine when you get burned.
SavannahSmiles Posted May 2, 2010 Posted May 2, 2010 I agree with some the productive portion of your post before you started spewing about my hot as hell 6'4, successful husband being a "loser" (lol) What do his looks and success have to do with being a loser husband? There are plenty of hot and successful people that fail at being husbands and wives.
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 2, 2010 Author Posted May 2, 2010 Granted.. But when I think "loser" I think of someone who fails in general. We all have our flaws, I think a "loser" to me pertains to someone who is...well...a loser. He's actually a pretty kickass husband.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 He poked fun at me for years actually. Implying that I was some prude because I didn't want to "experiment". Finally after years, I caved- a few times. nobody "caves" to something like that if they didn't want to do it in the first place. I'm not into that, and if a woman suggested we experiment, I would know at that point she is not to be trusted and would be shown the door. So to correct, I guess it's better to say I WAS monogamous by nature. thats better
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 I wouldn't talk, Dexter. You cheated on poor Rita with that British titty vampire!
Dexter Morgan Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 Hey, Blind. Agreed to most of your post up until you calling my husband a loser. Are you implying I'm some submissive, stupid little woman who just got manipulated by her "sicko" husband for "his" sexual jollies? well you answered that yourself already. You already said that it wasn't in your nature and that you finally "caved" to his request. So which is it? 1) you "caved" to his desire when it wasn't really your thing or 2) you wanted to be with other men all along. one or the other.....take your pick.
White Flower Posted May 3, 2010 Posted May 3, 2010 well you answered that yourself already. You already said that it wasn't in your nature and that you finally "caved" to his request. So which is it? 1) you "caved" to his desire when it wasn't really your thing or 2) you wanted to be with other men all along. one or the other.....take your pick. Or how about he presented the idea and after mulling over it she found it to be an intriquing idea? You wouldn't be pounding her over the head if he'd asked her to try a new sexual position with him, in fact you'd be cheering them on!
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 3, 2010 Author Posted May 3, 2010 For interests sake... In the beginning, I was not interested. He brought it up a few times, we discussed it and there was just discussion- I wasn't keen on the idea and he didn't pressure me. Over the years however it was brought up a few more times and both of our opinions evolved through debate, discussion and experimentation. These things are not static. It's not a "you are or aren't kind of matter. It's not like one partner has to be hitting the other over the head or twisting the other's rigid or rubber arm. Some things just develop and evolve. Sorry, Dexter. I love your show but you really do have a rather black or white way of thinking. Relationships are dynamic forms of emotion and expression and in constant flux. But then again, a sociopath wouldn't know that. Seriously though. She hasn't contacted me and it seems to be over. I wish her the best of luck.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 Or how about he presented the idea and after mulling over it she found it to be an intriquing idea? after saying she is a monogamous person? You wouldn't be pounding her over the head if he'd asked her to try a new sexual position with him, in fact you'd be cheering them on! thats because I was addressing her assertion that she was monogamous. Monogamy has nothing to do with trying a new position with your spouse.
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 By nature I do believe I am a monogamous person. It's like saying I'm a generally pacifistic person but if someone steps up on me long enough I'll fight. Same goes here. I'm a generally monogamous person, but if someone waves something hot in front of me long enough and everyone is egging me on, sometimes there are "blips" so to speak. My husband and I are monogamous in the sense that there is no love for any of these dishes. We love each other. I learned the hard way not to let things become emotional with a "side" beyond friendship. Lesson learned. My heart belongs to my husband.
whguy Posted May 4, 2010 Posted May 4, 2010 By nature I do believe I am a monogamous person. It's like saying I'm a generally pacifistic person but if someone steps up on me long enough I'll fight. Same goes here. I'm a generally monogamous person, but if someone waves something hot in front of me long enough and everyone is egging me on, sometimes there are "blips" so to speak. My husband and I are monogamous in the sense that there is no love for any of these dishes. We love each other. I learned the hard way not to let things become emotional with a "side" beyond friendship. Lesson learned. My heart belongs to my husband. What happens when one of your flings makes you pregnant? Or provides you with a nice STD of a gift? To each their own...
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 4, 2010 Author Posted May 4, 2010 Then I'll wonder how that happened with all the precautions I've taken because you'd have to be a bloody idiot to do a thing without protection, birth control and a clean bill of health.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 Then I'll wonder how that happened with all the precautions I've taken because you'd have to be a bloody idiot to do a thing without protection, birth control and a clean bill of health. good point, because we all know all precautions are 100% effective:rolleyes:
GamerGirl Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 (edited) good point, because we all know all precautions are 100% effective:rolleyes: Been lurking around the forums for some time without posting, but this thread begs for a response. I agree 100% with the point Dexter is trying to make. What you are doing is WRONG and the man's wife has every right to be pissed at you. You say your husband wanted this type of arrangement and you are happy to oblige, but you have given the perfect example as to why it is still wrong and will bring nothing but pain either for you, your husband, or someone else. You and your husband are consenting adults and can partake in any sick, sexual fantasy you please in your own bedroom. But, the problem is you are bringing other people, people you cannot control, into the mix. This poor woman, who was completely innocent, got hurt because you are your husband can't be satisfied with each other and chose to seek out another who lied. This will continue to happen no matter how careful you think you are. Like another poster said, if you choose to play with fire, you are going to get burned no matter how careful you are. You are just going to weed out the bad liars and invite the good ones in. I'm sorry but my partner and our relationship mean so much to me. I wouldn't be willing to risk our relationship, or even his life (you never know when the next pissed wife will get violent), to have my cake and eat it too! If I were you, I'd personally be pissed at my husband for not being satisfied with YOU and YOU ONLY! I would never purposely engage in an activity that could end up hurting someone, it could be anyone. What you are doing will certainly attract liars, cheaters, and freaks. Not saying all will be like that, but if you don't want even the slightest chance of hurting someone else, even another consenting adult who happens to get too attached, then you need to reevaluate what you are doing! Edited May 5, 2010 by GamerGirl
Dexter Morgan Posted May 5, 2010 Posted May 5, 2010 What you are doing will certainly attract liars, cheaters, and freaks. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! It should have come as no surprise that the guy lied.
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Not all people who like to experiment sexually are liars and cheaters. Some of the most solid, decent, forthright people I've had the pleasure of knowing all these years are explorers. Just like with ANY group of people you're going to get people from ALL walks of live. We're ALL freaks though. Quite proud of it too. You say freak like it's a bad thing!
GamerGirl Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Not all people who like to experiment sexually are liars and cheaters. Some of the most solid, decent, forthright people I've had the pleasure of knowing all these years are explorers. Just like with ANY group of people you're going to get people from ALL walks of live. We're ALL freaks though. Quite proud of it too. You say freak like it's a bad thing! Being a "freak" is a bad thing when your actions are almost certainly going to hurt innocent people who wanted NO part in your game. They already did, but you want to continue on like nothing happened so you and your husband can get your jollies. If being selfish = freak, then call me plain old vanilla any day....
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Number of times we've played: many Number of awesome times/good friends we've made: many Number of times THIS has happened: ONE. Just because ONE loser ended up being a dishonest scumwad, doesn't mean ALL of us are like that or that it's a given. Jeez. Beating a dead horse! I'm not getting anything useful out of this thread anymore so gonna stop reading it. I don't have a problem with my lifestyle and I do not need to be lectured by people who obviously don't care for it. It's to be expected that people will try to dissect and villainize what is alien to them, but the bottom line is it works for my H and I so everything all of you say, all your "logic" is basically less than nothing. Don't like it, don't play. Don't get it? More power to you. I. Don't. Care. Ever heard "to each his own?" Incidentally. The wife has spoken to me and she's ok with me. In fact I may introduce her to a friend because I think that marriage is ending...not because of me, but because her husband is a cheating, lying scumsucker. SHE says I am innocent in this. His marriage was NOT open. He cheated on her and he cheated on me. Her VANILLA husband cheated on both of us. He doesn't even belong to our set of "freaks!" He is the worst kind of vanilla "cakeman" out there. More power to all, enjoy your vanilla or whatever flavor you like and I'll enjoy my (insert flavor here.) I'm not going to stop living my life because of one unethical person. I'm not going to stop putting myself out there because there may be some idiots amidst the awesomeness. Anyways. Hot date with an *unmarried* hot as smoking hell soldier tonight. Husband and I are thrilled. Have a good night, people. Thanks to everyone who kept on topic and helped me figure out how I felt about what I asked about rather than jumping on the "let's judge the quasi-poly people" bandwagon. Tata!
Dexter Morgan Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Not all people who like to experiment sexually are liars and cheaters. we aren't talking about trying new positions and new things here. We are talking about the character of someone that would agree to have sex with someone elses wife/husband regardless whether the wife/husband sanctioned it. If someone propositioned me to sleep with his wife and that she was ok with it, I'd have to say, "what, do I look like some sort of low life?"
Author Hedgewitch Posted May 6, 2010 Author Posted May 6, 2010 Window open so I read it. Well, Dex, I guess you're just a better man than us. I guess you're just not the kind of "lowlife" who's interested in safe, sane and consentual good times with an open couple. 3 consenting adults enjoying hedonistic pleasure together? How awful. How dire. How immature. Maybe I'll go cry into my pillow over that "lowlife" I'm going to meet tonight. I'm sure he'd appreciate it if instead of a sensual night of excitement and exploration with my husband and I or just me he'd prefer to take the "high road". Maybe we'll watch some TV too. Rotfl.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 Window open so I read it. Well, Dex, I guess you're just a better man than us. I guess you're just not the kind of "lowlife" who's interested in safe, sane and consentual good times with an open couple. I'm not the only one here that said this lifestyle attracts jackasses. You play the swinging game, this is what you get. You shouldn't act so surprised that a guy that is willing to bone another man's wife, consent or not, is a lying dipstick. 3 consenting adults enjoying hedonistic pleasure together? How awful. How dire. How immature. I agree, to each his own. But with this type of lifestyle, don't cry about the kind of heathens you will draw in. Maybe I'll go cry into my pillow over that "lowlife" I'm going to meet tonight. well you whined about the guy that you hooked up with, so I'm sure if this guy is the same we'll hear it too.
White Flower Posted May 6, 2010 Posted May 6, 2010 after saying she is a monogamous person? thats because I was addressing her assertion that she was monogamous. Monogamy has nothing to do with trying a new position with your spouse. All people grow and change; it is a fact of life. If you stay the same as you are throughout your life you will become stagnant and not very entertaining company as an old man. We are allowed to re-evaluate ourselves and our Rs and renegotiate as we evolve. Hopefully, we grow together instead of apart. This CAN happen in the lifestyle Hedgewitch and her H have chosen.
Dexter Morgan Posted May 7, 2010 Posted May 7, 2010 All people grow and change well, change hedge definitely did....but I wouldn't call it growth.
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