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Chemistry and first date


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Posted

I joined Ok Cupid about a month or so ago. It's been interesting to say the least. I've been on 2 dates with 2 different people, but no great chemistry. I've been chatting for a little over a week with a guy I'm really interested in. We've set up to meet this weekend in a different city, because we live about 3hrs apart.

I guess because I "feel" chemistry, I'm nervous about this date where I have'nt been on the other 2. How many of you have had this experience? I realize we don't know each other at all. We have'nt even talked on the phone yet, but we communicate several times a day. In some ways I feel like we've already dated, and I'm worried I'll feel too familliar with him from the get-go and wind up doing too much too fast.( which is never a concern for me, I like to take things slow) Things have changed so much in the dating world since I was out there many moons ago. How is it possible to have these feelings of chemistry when you've never even met the person?

Any similar stories or advice would be appreciated. I don't want to make a mistake.

Posted

I guess because I "feel" chemistry, I'm nervous about this date where I have'nt been on the other 2.

you cannot feel "chemistry" until you've both met in person so just relax...what you are feeling is anticipation

Posted

You've seen him in photos, you've gotten to know him as a person - of course it's possible for there to be chemistry if you like the way he looks and you like who he is. By talking all the time, you probably know each other better than people who go on a regular date and kiss instead of talking!

Posted
You've seen him in photos, you've gotten to know him as a person - of course it's possible for there to be chemistry if you like the way he looks and you like who he is. By talking all the time, you probably know each other better than people who go on a regular date and kiss instead of talking!

but this is all fake chemistry, the true test is meeting in person. you can have all the chemistry online or on the phone but when you meet them in person the chemistry usually is not there.

Posted
but this is all fake chemistry, the true test is meeting in person. you can have all the chemistry online or on the phone but when you meet them in person the chemistry usually is not there.

 

That has not been my experience with it. Every time I've been unsure about a meeting like this, there was no chemistry. Every time I was, there was.

Posted
That has not been my experience with it. Every time I've been unsure about a meeting like this, there was no chemistry. Every time I was, there was.

 

This is exactly how it's been for me too. The one time I was feeling kind of iffy about a meeting, there was absolutely no spark and I was dying to get out of the date early because I was bored to death. The other times when I was really excited, really liked the guy, there was so much in-person chemistry. There were a couple of times wherein I didn't even get to talk to the guy on the phone before meeting, but the dates were still very successful. So trust your gut and try not to worry so much. Things will be fine. :)

Posted
That has not been my experience with it. Every time I've been unsure about a meeting like this, there was no chemistry. Every time I was, there was.

 

Yeah I concur.

 

Although I think Alpha has a point between virtual and real chemistry. You just don't know for sure til you meet.

Posted
We have'nt even talked on the phone yet

 

This is odd. You haven't talked on the phone but you feel all of this chemistry???? :confused: What is stopping him from calling you? I would be apprehensive about meeting someone without hearing their voice first.

Posted
Yeah I concur.

 

Although I think Alpha has a point between virtual and real chemistry. You just don't know for sure til you meet.

 

Ok, I retract my statement. I had mixed feelings going into a recent first date and it turned out to be pretty good and fun :cool:

 

I enjoy being humbled :D

Posted

I kind of understand what your getting at. Chemistry might not be the right word but it's the feeling of the person hasn't dissapointed you at all so far and seems exactly like your type.

 

Then you get the feeling that it might be too good to be true.

 

Dates where you're like, "Eh I'll give it a shot", Don't really make me nervous.

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